


Carry On My Wayward Sons And Daughter

by NightcoreFan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, BAMF Dean, BAMF Sam, Big Brother Dean, Big Sisters, Big sister, Bisexual Dean, Bisexual OFC, F/F, F/M, Female influence, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Protective Dean, Protective John Winchester, Protective Sam, Romance, Sister AU, Younger Brother Dean, winchester sister au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:56:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 68,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightcoreFan/pseuds/NightcoreFan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's always been the two brothers, the two boys, the two Winchesters. That's how it's always been, always will be. They'll always be there for each other and protect each other. But what if they had someone else, what if Dean didn't have to bear all that weight of being the oldest, what if Sam had a mother figure, what if they had an older sister to raise them?</p>
<p>Mercy wasn't special, that was her little brothers' job. She just looked after their ridiculous asses. Who cares if demons and angels were after them? Who cares that her brothers were destined to become vessels of the Devil and mightiest Archangel?<br/>Her parents told her to look after her brothers, and she was going to do that in any way possible. No ghost, vampire, demon, angel, leviathan or even God was going to get between this female hunter and whacking her boys over the head.</p>
<p>Seriously, who told them to go starting three different apocalypses? She was going to kill them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We All Deserve A Little Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is the first ever Fanfic I have published online. So please be gentle with your criticisms. However, any helpful pointers will be happily received. If you spot any mistakes in the spelling or lore please correct me. Also, of the pace seems too fast or too slow please tell me so I can rectify it.  
> Thank You,
> 
> Hope you enjoy my work and have fun reading it.

The day that the Winchester’s found out Mary was pregnant with their first child was arguably the happiest yet most nerve racking experience either had been in. Mary had been showing the signs, but they were too stubborn to accept the reality until it slapped them both in the face.

The sickness, the exhaustion and strange changes in taste; it was all there. But the young couple was scared, scared as to how they were going to raise this surprise child. John’s job as a mechanic and Mary’s as a waitress supported the two of them comfortably, but children were expensive.

They were so young, only just married and still adjusting to life together. Enjoying the bliss of life filled with love. How were they to change their life to accommodate a child? The both of them just barely looked after themselves; the two had had hard lives in the past. Maybe this child would be that extra ray of light to make the world look safe again.

Mary was sat on their bed, hands on her stomach, like she was trying to find the life she knew she held inside her. It just didn’t seem real yet. Tears slowly fell down her face, she wasn’t sure if it was from fear or happiness. They just wouldn’t stop falling.

John sat next to his wife, similar emotion swirling inside him. His stomach felt like it was doing flips and it was only because of his sheer will that his tears didn’t also fall. He pulled his wife to him, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

“We’ll make sure this kid is raised properly. We’ll give them everything we can and we will love them with everything we got.” John announced, whispering the words into Mary’s ear, the intimate moment bringing out the rarely seen softer side of John Winchester.

The blonde woman laughed her agreement and brought her husband into a passionate kiss. They didn’t plan for this, they certainly weren’t ready for a child, but they would need to be when the child arrived.

It was going to be a long drive.

* * *

 

John had just arrived home from work, and to be honest, it had been a crap day. He just wanted to see his wife, see the roundness of her stomach that proved their love. He knew the second he saw his glowing angel, everything would just be right with the world.

“Honey, I’m home!” he chuckled to himself as he closed the front door. It was so very cheesy and cliché but the two loved it.

His bright smile went just that little bit more radiant when he saw his wife sat at the kitchen table. The loving look reflected in the golden face of Mary Winchester, he jokingly scrunched his nose when he realised just what the apple of his eye was eating.

“Is that a pickle, ham, syrup and orange sandwich?” A weak glare was sent his way before Mary took another bite of the horrible food.

“I blame you. They must have gotten their appetite from you. And I don’t see why you’re the one complaining, I am eating it! This is extreme even for a pregnant woman!”

Cautious of his wife’s extreme mood swings, the veteran slowly made his way to the seat opposite her. He made it a point to not look at the pathetic excuse for a meal, he wasn’t sure if he could keep the contents of his stomach where they belong if he caught another glimpse.

“They’re just getting everything they can to be big and strong. At least we know they’re going to have no problems when it comes to food.”

The pregnant woman simply sighed and finished the sandwich. A moment of contented silence surrounded the couple before Mary spoke.

“We still need to choose a name for the little one John. You keep avoiding the issue; we need to pick a few options. I won’t let you escape the responsibility this time.”

John sighed deeply. It didn’t seem fair to name a child before they even got to know them. A name should represent the child, or that’s what he believed. But when his wife really wanted something there was no way to stop her.

“Mary, I love the two of you so much. But I feel we should wait until their born. It’s not like there’s a rush for them to be named.”

The determined look forced John to realise that he wasn’t going to win this argument. Mary saw the defeat in his eyes and grinned widely.

“I’ve thought of a few names, both girl and boy names. I need you to tell me if you like any, okay?”

The small nod from her husband was all she needed to start her list of many names.

“If they’re a boy I’ve picked out a few good ones. Let’s see…” she took out a few sheets of paper from her pocket. They were small and John recognised them from Mary’s diner notepad.

She had been thinking of names even through work. Something about that thought made John fall more in love with his wife. She was no longer scared of having this child and was giving it her all.

It made him feel a bit inadequate. He was supposed to be the big military man of the house, yet his wife was so much stronger than him mentally.

It made him think of the quote ‘Behind every great man is a great woman rolling her eyes’. But his wife was so much more than that. She would stand right next to him and let him know just how badly he had messed up.

Of course he would do the same. What is marriage if not to prove that they are equal?

“Daniel?” Mary asked. John snapped to attention.

“Hmm, what are you on about?” Mary’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Names, John, what do you think about Daniel?”

“Too common, don’t you think?”

“Harry?”

“Make sure he has friends Tom and Dick. Let’s choose something unusual, our child is going to stand out from all other children!”

Mary smiled at John’s antics. Truth be told, she didn’t care if her baby stands out or not. She just couldn’t wait to have a child to love, to teach and to watch grow up. Sure, her husband had grand plans for the little one, it was lovely to see how determined he was to give their child the best life.

But it was her child too, and she was going to let them become whoever they want to be.

“Okay John, then how about Ryker?”

“Sounds good… Ryker…” John let it roll on his tongue. It was a strong name, and unique.

“There’s also Auden?”

“No, Ryker is the best. You’ve set my heart on that one.”

Mary barely blinked at her love’s attitude. To be honest she loved that name as well. She had thought of naming their child Dean or Deanna after her mother, she was always closer to her mother than her father, but the wound was too fresh. Maybe if they have another child in the future, perhaps she would be able to honour her parent’s lives then.

“Now onto girl’s names, knowing our luck, we’ll be set on a boy’s name and end up with a girl. I’d hate to have our little girl bullied because we gave her a boy’s name. How about Remy, sounds like a strong name right?”

“I thought you said that you didn’t want to give a girl a boy’s name? Don’t be so cruel.” The soon to be mother mock glared at her laughing love.

“How about Lola then, or is it too girly for you, Mister ‘Strong army man’?” She teased, feeling proud of her self for taking revenge.

“No, I don’t like that name. Reminds me too much of the blonde air head Lola from high school. I don’t want to even chance at our child being as stupid as she was.”

Mary slapped him on the arm. He knew how much she hated it when he said cruel things about others. But judging by the stories he told her of high school, Lola was even empty of air in that head of hers.

“Alright, I’ve got a good one. I think this one will make her sound strong but kind at the same time.”

She paused for suspense, but was enjoying irritating John at the same time. There were just times where she couldn’t help herself. It was too perfect a moment.

“How do you feel about Mercy?”

“I love it. I’m sure Ryker or Mercy will love their name too.”

* * *

 

“John! John my water just broke! They’re on their way!”

John ran to the kitchen where his wife had been making them sandwiches. Matching faces of fear and anticipation looked to one another.

The child wasn’t supposed to arrive yet, there was still a month before the due date, what could be wrong to make the child arrive early. Mary hadn’t been under any stress nor had she fallen into anything. It made no sense!

“Mary, I’ll get the stuff we need. Quickly get into the impala we’ll drive to the hospital.” John, ever the stoic one, pulled Mary out of her pain addled mind.

She nodded to him and made her way out of the house as John rushed up to the nursery. He made sure to grab the child seat before rushing to the car.

The two of them were taut with anxiety; Mary was more focused on the pain than anything else. But John’s hands were progressively getting more clenched to the point that when he looked at the wheel after all this, he would see the hand prints of where he was holding the wheel.

It felt like time had slowed down but also sped up. It’s amazing what panic does to ones perception of time.

Mary wasn’t sure how long it was before John was pulling her out of the car. She just noticed that they were at the entrance of the hospital before another wave of pain overtook her body.

It wasn’t anything like her midwife had said. The pain, contractions her mind whispered, was meant to have long periods before it started again. But these were very close together. Either there was something very wrong with her baby or the little one just couldn’t wait to see the world.

She hoped to God and all his angels it was the latter. She had been through too much to have this small life taken from her as well.

“That’s it Mrs Winchester, deep breaths and push when your body tells you to. I know it hurts but think about that little baby you’ll get to hold at the end of all this.”

Mary tried to listen to the midwife, she really did, but the pain was too much to cope with. Why she hadn’t accepted the pain killers she didn’t know. But it was definitely a thought for the next time.

Mary burst out laughing at the thought. Here she was screaming in pain because of their child and she was thinking of having another one.

John looked at her in confusion before he started laughing as well. He knew his wife too well; he knew exactly what she was thinking about.

“Maybe in a few years, okay hun?”

Mary was about to reply only to be interrupted by a particularly powerful contraction. She screamed bloody murder and the midwife looked slightly relieved.

John was quickly shoved out of the room and had the door shut behind him. He turned to hear one of the nurses encourage his poor wife.

“Only a little bit more Mrs Winchester. The little ones head is showing, just a few more pushes and a new life will be brought into this world!”

It was another fifteen minutes before the screaming was replaced by a baby’s cry and John was let back into the room.

The first thing he saw was his wife, pale and sweaty, but looking more radiant than he had ever seen. He breathed a sigh of relief that his wife was fine, exhausted but fine.

His eyes were then drawn to the small yellow bundle in her arms. His child (Oh wow, want that a strange thought) had calmed down but was still squirming in a way that only babes could, uncoordinated and unable to fully control those pesky limbs.

He placed his arm around his wife, the two of them looking down at the wonder they had created. There were no words for the experience, to see your child for the first time. It made John cry with joy; his baby was in the world. He could hold his baby. Oh sure it was all red and wrinkly, but it could be excused for that. You’d be red and wrinkly if you had been stuck in a liquid for eight months.

“So, what are we calling this little one?” He asked. He needed to know what he and his wife had created; whether they had a little son or daughter.

“It would seem that we have our own little Mercy Winchester.”

John didn’t know he could smile so widely yet cry such huge tears at the same time.


	2. A Wild Dean Appears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we see the energetic little Mercy grow up. What sort of trouble can one little girl get in? A lot apparently.  
> But she is so excited to be a big sister, she can't wait!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying the story so far. I have to say, I tried to make this chapter a bit more drawn out, but I couldn't wait for baby Dean. He is so cute in my mind.  
> If you spot any mistakes could you please comment, and I'd love to here your opinion on how it's going. Criticisms are appreciated but please be gentle.
> 
> Well, I hope you like the chapter.

Mercy had always been a curious child. Since the moment she had even a modicum of control over her body she wanted to know what everything felt like. She needed to know about the world. Her wide innocent green eyes wanted to see everything; she wanted an adventure before she could even pronounce her first word.

Her parents had their hands full when she couldn’t speak. She cried when left alone, she cried when she had been left in her crib for too long and the worst, she cried just for the sake of crying. It drove the Winchester couple insane; she was so fussy when it came to being alone. But when it came to hunger or a soiled diaper she cried until one parent entered the room and just stared at the expectantly.

Safe to say, she ended up with much more than one rash. Not fun for any of the family.

But it was the moments when her parents played with her and made her laugh that John and Mary understood the joys of parenting. Their child was a pain in the backside but her smile made their hearts swell and made them feel that it was all worth it. It didn’t mean that they weren’t hoping for their daughter to grow up a little so that they could understand what it was she wanted.

Fortunately their wish partly came true. As Mercy was a curious child she wanted to know everything. So she picked up speaking fairly quickly. Fast enough that the older Winchester’s believed that their little Mercy was genius. They were proud of her until she learned the words what, where, why and how.

Why had to be the worst. Whoever had invented the word? They needed to be brought back to life just so the Winchester’s could shoot them. It was just plain torture, the constant stream of ‘Why?’ forced the young couple to realise just how little they knew about the world.

No they didn’t know “Why the sky was blue?” nor “Why could you see through glass?”

It was when she started walking that they realised how hard being a parent was. See Mercy gave the couple no time to prepare for her walking by crawling or even bum-shuffling. Mercy went straight from sitting up to using the walls to clumsily walk to the things that caught her attention.

The coffee table had never looked so dangerous before. And the stairs were basically a death trap for little toddlers.

Mercy didn’t stop moving until she crashed somewhere vaguely strange. They had found her asleep in the mop bucket once; she was absolutely soaked and was in desperate need of a bath. They just couldn’t let the little monster out of their sight. They didn’t need a repeat of the hot sauce incident. How she got it in all of John’s shoes? They had no idea.

But she was their first child, the best thing that had ever happened to the Winchester’s and the source of most laughter and joy. For every first the couple took a picture, her first word “Win” was photographed with her giving the cheesiest grin anyone had seen on a baby. John couldn’t shut up on how she was destined to win and would be the best of the best.

They doted on the girl and gave her all she could ever need. But weren’t scared to tell her off if she was close to hurting herself or did something wrong. She was already showing to be a strong willed child but had a strange kindness that lead her to give her parents giant hugs whenever they were feeling even slightly sad.

She grew like a weed and the years flew by until her fourth birthday, when she was asked if she wanted a sibling.

“I want a sister!” Was the instant response, her hands pointing at her mother’s stomach.

Mary and John chuckled, the father picked up his daughter making sure her yellow dress didn’t lift to show more than necessary. Her chocolate hair put up into pigtails with blue ribbons, John refusing to let his daughter live in a pink wonderland. He knew they would all get sick of the colour if he had let his daughter to become obsessed with it.

“Sorry kiddo, we don’t get to choose. Just like we didn’t get to choose if you were a girl or a boy, but we would love you no matter what you were. So you have to do the same for your little brother or sister okay?”

“What if she is a meanie? I don’t like meanies!” the young girl shook her head violently, entirely against having to have a mean little sister.

“Don’t worry baby.” Mary soothed, “As the big sister you have to teach them to not be a meanie.”

“Yeah, with you on the case, we have nothing to worry about!” John joined in. Both adults holding back their laughter and hoping to get the child to agree with the thought of a little sibling, they expected she would agree.

Mercy was constantly trying to keep her parents happy and helping them in any way possible. They wanted their daughter to be happy, but she didn’t seem happy until her favourite people were too. A sibling would help with that, someone she could teach and look after.

It helped that they had been planning for another child for a while. Mercy was such a joy to have that they wanted another one, but John had put his foot down at three at the most. They just didn’t have the income even with John co-owning a garage business and Mary being the manager of the diner.

“I’ll be the best big sister ever!” The small Winchester yelled. She didn’t stop babbling about what she was going to teach her little sister and what life was going to be like.

* * *

 

Mercy once again poked her mother’s protruding stomach. It had been around five months since Mercy’s birthday in April and the news of a new Winchester, Mercy had been doing everything she could to help her parents and asked as many people she had contact with for information on how to be a good big sister.

It had caused some embarrassment to the older Winchester’s when she asked the couple of bouncers from a nearby club when they were eating in the diner Mary worked at. They were large men, muscles covering head to toe. One looked like a stereotypical American with blonde hair and blue eyes, whilst the other was told by Mercy he had,

“Really pretty dark skin. I like dark colours, because daddy’s hair is dark and so is mine!”

Luckily the man hadn’t been offended in the least and even gave the small girl tips on how to look after little brothers. The man had a little brother and knew exactly what to say to the wide eyed girl.

Mercy furrowed her eyebrows at her mum’s tummy, she just didn’t understand. How did a baby fit in there? Was she in there when she was a baby?

“Can she come out yet?” Mercy asked. Her eyes never straying from what she knew was holding her little sister.

“No baby, your little sibling needs time to grow before they can come out into the world. Would you like it if someone woke you up and pulled you out of a very comfy bed before you had a proper good night’s sleep?”

The small girl looked at her mother with frightened eyes before hugging the bump.

“Sorry, I didn’t know it was like that. I’ll wait for you, so don’t worry!”

Mary watched her child’s antics with a fond smile, it was a blessing when Mercy grew older, and she started loving sleep more than her mother. Which was impressive but it was much easier on the couple. However, they were not looking forward to when she started school and can’t wake her up to go.

“That’s my baby girl. Now how about we get you to bed hmm? We’ve got a busy day tomorrow; we’re going to see Connah. His mum said he missed you very much and I know how much you love playing hide and seek with him.”

“Okay, Mummy.”

“Remember sweetie, the angels are watching over you.”

* * *

 

Mercy was very confused. She knew it was almost time for her little sister to arrive, but why did her mummy yell at daddy that her water broke. It made no sense. Water doesn’t break, it just dribbles and splashes.

But it was very scary sitting in the back of their car whilst her mummy was making sad sounds. She was crying and groaning, her mummy wasn’t allowed to cry. She was meant to make her mummy happy, but it wasn’t working.

Her daddy had yelled at her to be quiet when she tried to talk to her mummy. All she was told was that her little sister was going to be born soon. But that made no sense!

Mercy thought that when her little sister was born everyone would be happy. They weren’t supposed to be upset! She was so confused, she really wanted to cry. But her mummy was crying, she couldn’t cry now. Maybe later, maybe she would be allowed to cry later.

Mercy could only do one thing, the one thing that her mummy did for her when she was sad. She sang “Hey Jude”.

She couldn’t remember every word and her voice would waver and crack but it looked like it was helping her mummy stop crying. Mercy wasn’t going to stop singing until her mummy was smiling again and her daddy wasn’t mad anymore.

She’d sing until her throat hurt like that time she yelled for too long, until it felt dry and burning. She’d sing until she couldn’t sing anymore.

She didn’t stop singing when they took her mummy away from her in the hospital and left her with daddy. She kept singing even when everyone in the waiting room stared at her. She had to keep singing for her family, because she had to make sure her family was happy. She didn’t even care if she had a little brother instead of a little sister like she wanted.

She just wanted her family. She wanted to know what they were doing to mummy and her little sibling. But she couldn’t cry, she couldn’t ask any questions, her mouth only let her sing.

She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, but she woke up to her daddy’s voice rumbling in his chest. He was talking to someone next to them, he sounded like an old man. But all men were old in a child’s mind so it wasn’t a very accurate deduction.

“She sings beautifully, you should be proud of her.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll always be proud of her. She’s my first born you know. Bit of a spit fire though.”

Daddy sounded tired and worried. Was mummy still not feeling better?

“Really, I’m sorry for asking. But why did she keep singing until she passed out? It’s not something most children do.”

“Ah, it’s the song her mum sings her whenever she doesn’t feel well. My wife just went into labour and Mercy didn’t really understand what was happening.”

He shifted slightly to let Mercy settle more comfortably. He slowly stroke his daughters hair in hope the she would be calmer when she awoke.

“So she was singing to make her mum feel better huh? That’s one smart cookie you got there. Iron will too apparently. Her name’s Mercy? It’s a very unusual name, any reason for it?”

“It was unique and had the qualities we hoped she would have. To have strength and kindness, of which she has in bounds. We were so lucky to have her; she made our lives so much brighter.”

“Hmm. And this next child your wife is having now?”

“She wants to call them Dean or Deanna depending on the gender. After her mother that died quite a few years ago. But Mercy here is determined to have a little sister.”

“I fear what that babe will have to go through in the future if they turn out to be a boy.”

“Trust me. You really don’t want to know. She has my stubbornness and her mother’s patience and determination, a very deadly combination inside an energetic little girl.”

Before the stranger could once again speak, Mercy sat up having had enough of the conversation.

“Mr Winchester?!” a nurse called. John swiftly made his way towards said nurse with Mercy securely in his arms.

“How is she? Any complications?” he sighed at the negative reply. It was a relief to know that his wife and new child were fine.

“Daddy?” the small voice made John cringe. He was supposed to look after his daughter but only succeeded in worrying her.

“Hey, kiddo, are you ready to meet the new family member?” It took a few seconds for the sentence to process in her mind before everything just flung itself out of the window.

“Yes! I really wanna see! I’ll be the best big sister ever!”

John stared wide eyed before shrugging it off. Kids were more durable than most adults think and could bounce back so easily.

Now it was time to meet the new part of the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that. I hope you liked this chapter or if there is something just not quite right with it. I would be thankful for you to say so in the comments. Any tips on how to improve will make this all that better, I hope.


	3. The Ups And Downs Of Childhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mercy is taking her duty as big sister very seriously. There are ups and downs, mostly ups, of having Dean as a baby brother.

Mercy was almost literally bouncing in excitement, causing John to lose his grip ever so slightly. But she couldn’t help herself; she was going to finally meet her little sibling. She knew they started off very small but would be running around with her in no time. That’s what Daddy told her at least.

But she really wanted to help look after the little red wrinkly baby. Sure they looked gross and small, but she was the big sister now, she was almost five years older. She had to look after her no matter what.

“Hey baby, do you want to meet your little brother? His name is Dean, isn’t he so cute?”

Mercy looked at her little brother with contemplating eyes. She had even tipped her head to the side like she wanted to see him in a different perspective. John and Mary shared a concerned glance. They had heard of older siblings getting jealous of new babies, but Mercy was such a sweet child, surely she would love Dean like she loved the rest of her family.

“But I wanted a little sister.” The quiet comment had all the adults in the room to start laughing hysterically. Even the midwife who had helped Mary deliver Mercy all those years ago couldn’t get rid of the giggles.

Said girl just sighed, she had a brother now. There was no choice in the matter, so she would just have to be the best big sister and help him become the best little brother.

The small baby started crying loudly at the noise that woke him up. Mercy looked genuinely surprised that such a small thing could be so loud.

“Do you want to hold him baby?” Mary asked when the laughing gradually died down. She gestured to John to place their daughter on her lap so she could help her support the new born.

“Yes mummy!”

John couldn’t help but snap a quick picture of the three lights of his life. They all looked so happy, even Dean who had calmed down as the two females sang “Hey Jude” to him. John joined in knowing this was going to be a moment forever ingrained into his mind.

His family was happy, and so was he.

* * *

 

Mary was very worried when she woke up after a very good night’s sleep. The fact that she heard John snoring behind her was proof enough that he also had a good night. She instantly shot up, waking her husband in the process.

“Mary, what’s wrong?” John, now high alert, asked.

“Were you woken up at any point last night?” Mary was wide eyed in fear. She hoped to god nothing was wrong. John’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“No, I slept like a… baby.” Realisation smoothed his features, only to have his expression turn to fear. The two ran straight for their little boy’s room.

Now most people would show no fear to having a great sleep, they would be ecstatic even. Unless you were a parent to a six month old baby who should be crying for food and nappy change at all hours of the night.

It was just part of the job to have no sleep due to your baby. But when they stopped doing so you start to get worried. Mercy didn’t stop until she was around two; they weren’t expecting Dean to be any different.

They rushed towards the door to sigh in ease. Dean was happily babbling at his parents his smile wide and gummy, waving his hands to signal he wanted to be picked up. Their confusion grew when Mary realised that Dean was in a new nappy and had an empty bottle of baby formula clutched in his hands. His onesie wasn’t fastened properly and a few buttons were in the wrong hole. It didn’t take much guess work on who their mysterious little helper was.

“That girl, honestly, I almost had a heart attack there. She should know that she doesn’t need to do this.” John rubbed his head to try to wake himself up again after the panic attack. He hadn’t been awake long enough for his mind to clear.

“Hey Dean, has your big sister been looking after you? I bet that was fun huh?” Mary cooed to her son as she lifted him from his cot. She fixed the small mistakes her daughter had made in redressing Dean.

“Mummy, is that you? Where’s Dean?” The childish voice originated from behind Dean’s cot. She had a rat’s nest of a bed head and her nightie was scrunched and wrinkled. She had obviously only just woken up.

“What’s the saying? Speak of the Devil and they shall appear?” John whispered to his wife only to gain a glare.

Mary turned back to Mercy, worry marring her features. She hugged Dean closer as to not let him fall.

“Baby, did you sleep next to Dean all night?”

The dark haired girl nodded her head enthusiastically. She ran up to her mum and pulled on the long white dress.

“Yup, because daddy said you got tired because Dean cries a lot at night. And you said sleep is very important, I wanted to help so you would sleep longer. I know how to clean Dean and make his food and dress him back up. I’ve seen you do it lots of times, and you said I have to be a good big sister!”

She smiled so brightly, so proud of herself for being the good big sister. The two parents didn’t have it in them to crush the girl’s accomplishment. John kneeled and picked up his daughter to be face to face with all of the family.

“You’re the best big sister in the world. But looking after Dean in the middle of the night is our job. We love that you want to help, and you can do all you want during the day. But you’re a growing girl, you need sleep too!”

Mercy was once again very confused. That didn’t make any sense, Dean was growing too and he didn’t sleep nearly as much as she did. During the night at least, he did nap a lot during the day.

“But what if I don’t care if I don’t grow? Can I look after Dean then?”

The eldest Winchester chuckled and kissed his daughter on her fore head. He had a feeling both he and Dean were going to have to fight off many boys in the future. He wasn’t sure what they had done to deserve such a beautiful and kind hearted daughter.

“Well, if you don’t grow then you won’t be the big sister anymore. You’d be too small to keep the job. You don’t want that now do you?”

The child’s eyes went comically wide. She didn’t want Dean to not have a big sister, it was her job and she had to take respor-respom-reston…. That thing her Daddy said you had to take when you do something.

“No! I’ll sleep more. I have to be the Bestest big sister or Dean won’t be a good boy!”

“That’s my girl.” The father and daughter hugged tightly, watched over by a contented mother and giggling baby.

* * *

 

“It wasn’t me! It was Dean’s fault!” Mercy cried out, tears streaming down her red and blotchy face. But she wasn’t getting any sympathy from her parents. She was in trouble and needed to know the consequences of her actions.

“Dean is just a baby, how was he supposed to reach the paints from so far away? Mercy, he’s only seven months old. So either you painted on the walls or you gave Dean the paint when we told you not to!”

Mercy felt so angry, she didn’t do either of that! Dean grabbed the paint brush from her when she was helping him clean up. It wasn’t her fault he started painting on the walls!

Why didn’t they believe her? Why was it always her fault when Dean did something bad? Just because he was a baby it didn’t mean he couldn’t do bad things as well.

She spotted said baby laughing in his high chair behind their parents. She felt so upset, a burning feeling appeared in her chest and she felt like she needed to hit something. She didn’t like feeling like this, and it was their fault!

But still didn’t really mean to blurt out such mean things.

“I hate you Mummy! I hate you Daddy! And I hate Dean the most! You’re all big meanies!” she ran to her room, not even stopping when her Daddy yelled very loudly to come back.

She didn’t mean to say such bad things. She loved them very much and didn’t hate them at all but they wouldn’t listen to what she was saying.

She weakly climbed into bed, her previous strength gone with the uncomfortable fire in her tummy. She cried and cried until her head, eyes and throat hurt. She cried from the guilt of hurting her family, she cried from the shame she felt for yelling at poor baby Dean and she cried from the fear of her parents hating her from then on.

What she didn’t know was that her little brother was also crying and wouldn’t stop. Big fat baby tears poured from his face, his face growing redder with each wail. It drove the parents dotty from both being unable to understand what was going on and trying to think of a way to deal with their suddenly rebellious daughter.

They slowly did realise their mistake a few hours later when Dean grabbed the paint brush from Mary’s hand as she was cleaning up.

If he managed that with an adult then a five year old had no chance.

It took a while for the both of them to gather the courage to confront their daughter and apologise for their mistake. It was a soppy affair, the two females crying their eyes out and John feeling uncomfortable as always. If Mercy did all she could to make them happy and gave them no reason to be irritated with her for months afterwards, no one commented.

There were different ways to grow up; Mercy just drew one of the shorter straws when it came to learning about misunderstandings.

* * *

 

“This is a picture of your mum and me before you were born.” They were in the living room as John showed his little girl the picture of him and Mary kissing on the front of the Impala. It had been just after he proposed and had got one of Mary’s friends to snap the shot.

It was the third most precious moment in his life. Of course the births of his children were tied in top place and the day Mary Campbell became Mary Winchester was in second place. Each moment was something precious and he would never trade them for anything.

Mercy on the other hand was confused but happy. She saw her parents kiss a lot. They loved each other so very much, and it just grew every day from what Mercy could see. So why did they need a picture from when they didn’t love each other quite as much?

“John, I think Dean is trying to say his first word!” Mary all but screamed from the kitchen. Not wanting to miss the moment his little man started to speak, he grabbed Mercy from her spot on the couch and jogged in to see Dean scrunching his face in a cute baby version of concentration.

“Mu…Mu…” Mary couldn’t help but smile with pride. Her second born was trying to say Mummy! It was slightly sad for the parents when Mercy’s first word was neither Mummy nor Daddy. But now she was finally getting her wish!

Mercy on the other hand was staring at her little brother in anticipation. She had spent so long repeating the same word over and over again, making sure Dean heard it enough times, saying it when her parents weren’t around so that it would be a great surprise for everyone.

Her plans were finally coming together. Her little Dean was becoming slightly bigger, but he would always be the baby sister that turned out to be a baby brother.

“Muumuu…..Merfy!” There was a stiff silence as all members of the Winchester family thought about what the small baby had said.

John was the first to start laughing, he really should have known. Mercy was always there and her name was probably said to Dean more times than his own. They had too much hope thinking Dean would be like most other babies that said Mummy or Daddy for their first words. Mercy was incredibly strange. Of course her brother was going to be.

Mercy on the other hand was shocked. She didn’t think Dean would say her name. In fact she had been trying to get Dean to say Chester. Because her Mummy had said that her first word was, “Win!” It just made sense.

But her name was good.


	4. Strong Like Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day at school. Well that's going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's shorter than the other chapters, but I felt I couldn't add much more to it.

“Come on Mercy. You don’t want to be late to your first day school, now do you?” Mary asked as she pulled her daughter from Dean’s crib. It was much harder than needed, but Mercy had really set her mind on this.

“Yes I do.” She said it plainly. Like her mother really should have already known that she didn’t want to start school. It sounded boring and she just wanted to stay with Dean.

Mary almost growled in frustration. It was times like these where she hated the stubbornness her daughter had inherited from her and John. Her little girl just did not want to leave Dean, but it really wasn’t an option. Her baby girl needed to learn and make other friends, not just stick by her little brother her whole life.

“School will be fun and will be over before you know it. Just try it today, for me?” The dark haired girl thought on it for a second before replying.

“No, school is stupid. I want to stay here.” The small girl squirmed out of her mother’s arms and peered over the crib again.

Dean smiled the second her caught sight of his sister. Which was becoming a rarity as the poor baby was teething and crying all the time. Mercy didn’t want to leave him when he was in pain, that wasn’t a good sister, thing to do.

He reached up in a grabby motion, showing off those new pearly whites. He laughed when Mercy gave her best funny look.

“Mercy, baby, if you don’t go to school then you won’t be able to play with Dean anymore. You’ll have to stay on the Naughty Step.”

Mary knew it was a very low blow, but she was running out of choices. School started soon and Mercy was still in her night gown.

* * *

 

She hated school. She decided it was the worst place to be, full of screaming and crying kids. The teacher smiling just made her scowl stronger. What was the point in coming to this place?

Mercy was stood to the back of the class, looking on with slight curiosity. There were a lot of other kids around her age and she didn’t really know what to do. The only person around her age that she knew was Connah, but he moved away a few months ago.

The room was so bright and colourful with numbers crawling along the walls in order. She swore the alphabet hanging on the board at the front was mocking her. It had taken so long before she had memorised it. Even now those stupid few letters kept messing her up.

The tables were just the right size for her and set in groups with lots of paper and pencils, and the little sections were filled with toys that looked really fun. She knew Dean would love all the cuddly teddies. He had developed a fascination with the things.

“All right then, I think we should all sit down and one at a time tell the others about ourselves.”

That simple sentence wouldn’t get that herd of little monsters to do as told. The teacher would have to do much better than that; she couldn’t hear herself over the screams of the excited children.

But to her surprise, most kids did as told. The few that kept playing were guided by the helpers to any empty seats. Her included it would seem.

The other kids on her table were all wide eyed but looked so shy. Mercy stared at them, three boys and two other girls. Each looked completely different but equally uncomfortable.

The boy next to her was a short red head with so many freckles he was almost a giant human shaped freckle. He had murky blue eyes and fairly dull look about him. Even his dinosaur t-shirt looked plain. Mercy already felt like he wouldn’t be that important.

The girl on the other side of her was so blonde it was almost white. Her skin was strangely tanned compared to the paleness of her hair and light chocolate eyes added to the sweet child look. She was in a pink frilly dress that just looked itchy.

The boy next to ginger was dark skinned and curly haired, the one of very few in the class, almost everything about him was dark, apart from the blinding smile that reminded Mercy of her Dad before he tickle attacked her. He looked like someone worth getting to know.

The last boy at the table had light brown hair, she was half convinced it would fly away it looked to feathery. He was so very pale and had a smudge of mud on his chin. He was taller than the other boys from what she could tell and his eyes darted out of the window.

The next girl had similar looking hair to feather head but had more colour in her cheeks and where he had green eyes, she had hazel. She looked much more plain than the first girl and was dressed in pretty much the same dress but in blue. She stared at the teacher with concentration, soaking every word.

All in all, Mercy figured she could get along with them.

“Right, we’ll go one by one and tell the class our names and what we like to do. Hopefully we will make many friends in school, yes?” The teacher started. Mercy didn’t really pay much attention to the woman; she was more interested in looking at her ‘Classmates’.

“I’ll start then, my name is Miss Caulfield. I like making lots of cupcakes!”

It went much like that until it finally reached the table near the back. It started with blue dress, who clearly said,

“My name is Lucy, and I like drawing.” Much like most others in the class,

“My name is Callum, and I like playing outside!” As do the other three boys in the front, feather head.

“I’m Rebecca and I like playing dress up.” Nothing new there Blondie,

“I’m Harry, and I like building things!” Curly hair, she had such hopes for you.

“I’m Edward, a-and I like painting.” What did she say, plain?

The class looked at Mercy expectantly, she was the last one and most of the children were nearing the end of their attention spans.

“I’m Mercy. I like reading, jigsaws and looking after Dean.” There, a few new things added to the mix. She felt strangely proud of her self for being a bit different from the others.

“Oh, and who is Dean dear?” The teacher asked. A kind smile stretched her face and long brown hair was slipped into a bun.

“Dean is my little brother.” Who else was it going to be? The teacher was a bit silly for not figuring it out herself.

* * *

 

“You have a silly name.” Mercy couldn’t help but stare at the speaker. Michael if she remembered right. What did he mean?

She was just simply drawing a picture of the teddy for Dean and didn’t do anything to catch the attention of the five year old boy.

“What?” She demanded. She wasn’t sure how to handle this; she thought her name was perfectly normal.

“Your name is stupid.” He repeated. Mercy very nearly smacked the boy for being mean, but remembered what her mum had said.

_“Hurting others means you’re not any better than the people who were mean first. So you need to ignore them; that is worse than hitting.”_

She did just that. She hated it when people ignored her, it felt lonely and boring, like she wasn’t really there; the best punishment for naughty boys.

“Hey, Stupid Name, listen to me!” The nuisance pulled her pigtails hard. It hurt and made her want to cry, but she did what her mummy had told her.

The boy’s face quickly went redder and redder to the point where Mercy thought he would explode like the cartoon characters on TV. He picked up the drawing of Dean’s teddy and threw it on the floor before stomping it frustration.

Tears were crawling down her face before she even knew what was going on. One minute she was colouring the bow (?) and the next it was all muddy.

Loud cries were tearing their way out her mouth before she gave them permission. Very quickly her face was covered in tears and snot, she wanted to go home. It was nicer at home and her family didn’t tear her drawings when she made them. Her daddy stuck them on the fridge and along the walls.

Michael looked shocked at her reaction, like he expected her to fight back and not just cry. But now she was crying and he didn’t know what to do.

“What did you do Michael?” Miss Caulfield’s voice called from behind the boy. He was in big trouble and they all knew it.

* * *

 

Mercy felt very silly. She was the tough big sister; she was supposed to fight back. Instead she cried long enough to make her face and head hurt.

Her mummy wouldn’t have cried. She would’ve made sure to move away the second it seemed like there was a problem.

Her mummy was clever like that, but Mercy didn’t want to be smart. She was smart enough as she was; her parents had always said that. No, she needed to be strong like her daddy.

Her daddy was a big softie to her and mummy and would act so very silly at home or when he was with the family. However, one time there was a mean man. He smelled funny and wouldn’t leave her alone. He wanted to show her something in his car on the other side of the street, opposite of the park in which she had been playing.

Her daddy didn’t like him very much. He looked so much bigger and scarier than she had ever seen him. He pushed the big man and told him to go away. Even daddy’s voice got scary, it went deep and rumbly. Something about his face was scary enough to send the mean man running away from the park.

She decided there and then that she would be like her dad and become very strong.


	5. Epic Parent's And A New Member

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years fly by and another name is added to the family tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are speeding up now and even I'm getting impatient. So sorry if it seems rushed and fast.

Her cheek really hurt. Bright red and bruising, it hurt more than she thought it would. The burning would’ve made her cry in the past, she would have burst into tears and run to her parents for comfort. Not now though, she was too strong for that and knew more for a simple slap to the cheek to hurt.

Still, she felt incredibly proud. The kind of pride, that wouldn’t let you stop smiling and bubbled in your chest. The kind of pride that you get when you do something you’ve wanted to do for years. It was the pride that stood resolute even when it all goes south, because the feeling of “ _finally doing it”_ is too freeing to feel down about.

Her grin stretched her face and was starting to hurt her cheeks but it was all too fun to stop! She just barely kept herself from singing a happy little tune. Any further display of joy would just freak her poor teacher and Principal even more. They were already giving her looks of concern, disapproval and slight fear. No need to add to it.

Her legs swung in excited anticipation, far above the floor as the red plastic chair she was sat on was more for parents and older years. It wasn’t very often a seven year old girl needed to sit in the Principal’s boringly grey office. It was large and just like those stereotypical offices on TV.

Her Principal was a greying woman, she was painfully skinny and her suit did not complement her in anyway Mercy could see. Her Teacher on the other hand was a fairly fit man in his early thirties. He wasn’t all that attractive but had the blonde hair and baby face that made the kids in his class gravitate towards him.

“Mercy, I don’t think you understand the trouble you’re in. What you did was unnecessary and totally out of line!” Mr Mitchel announced.

Mercy really couldn’t help herself; a small giggle escaped her lips. The two adults looked shocked, serves them right. They didn’t do anything so she decided to take action, if they thought she was going to apologise, they were sorely wrong.

“I don’t care, I did what was needed. She was the one that started it, not me. Why isn’t she waiting for her parents too?”

Whatever excuse they were going to give was cut off by the sound of a familiar sounding knock of her dad. He entered the room without invitation and gave the occupants in the room a hard stare as he sat down next to her.

He ignored the teachers and honed in on the vivid purple bruise on Mercy’s face. She smiled proudly at her dad as he poked and prodded the injury. He needed to know that she did what she thought was right before the school polluted his opinion of her.

“How did this happen?” He asked her teachers, but never took his eyes off her cheek.

“You see Mr, Winchester. Mercy decided to attack one of her classmates and disturbed the class during recess. The poor girl she viciously attacked is now in the hospital to check for any broken bones and perhaps some stiches for the _bite marks_. I must say that this behaviour will not be tolerated in this school.”

The old hag snarled her hatred for the young Winchester and somehow made it sound like it was her dad’s fault the incident happened. Safe to say, none of the Winchesters were happy with the Head of the school.

“Mercy, why did you hit the girl? I thought your mum told you that wasn’t how you deal with problems?” Daddy sounded so tired and just fed up with all that was going on. Mercy decided to just tell the straight truth and hopefully it would all sort itself out quickly.

“She kept being mean to my friends Daddy. She pulled Lucy’s hair and stole Michael’s glasses and said nasty things to Harry!”

“Why didn’t you just tell your teacher?” The adults stared at the seven year old.

“I did! He didn’t believe me! He said ‘Just go play somewhere else then.’”

Said Teacher spluttered at the accusation. His face went a funny shade of pink as he stuttered out an excuse.

“She’s lying. I have no memory of her coming to talk to me at all before the fight broke out.”

Three pairs of eyes narrowed at the man, suspicion thick in the air. Mercy managed to hide a snigger, she was full of glee at the fact her lazy teacher was getting his just desserts.

“I’m not lying! Ask Lucy, she was with me!”

The elderly woman sighed and rubbed her head.

“That doesn’t explain why you went and bit Lilly.”

A frown settled on the young girl’s features as she remembered the moments before she leapt to attack the stupid girl.

“She said I was stupid and wasn’t smart enough to be in school. She said I was ugly and needed to wear a bag on my head and that I shouldn’t be alive. She said that Dean was creepy and didn’t deserve a horrible sister like me. She said really mean stuff and I told her to ‘shut up, go away’. Then she hit my face really hard! I told her to say sorry and then she hit me again! I went away like mummy told me but she hit Michael! So I hit her.”

She was out of breath by the time she finished and felt strangely tired.

Her daddy picked her up and walked out of the door. His parting words were,

“It would seem it wasn’t my daughter’s fault. Maybe you should get your facts straight before blaming an innocent girl. She’ll be back in school tomorrow.”

She had an awesome Daddy.

* * *

 

“And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,   
don’t carry the world upon your shoulders,   
for well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool,   
by making his world a little colder.”

The two female Winchester’s sang as they were baking. The younger messily stirring the mix with a concentrated expression on her face. Making cakes were difficult, especially mixing the stuff together. At least that’s what Mercy thought.

Her mummy, however, was smiling lovingly at her daughter. She always felt like Mercy had been a happy accident, a blessing from someone above. It was her little daughter that gave her the belief that angels were watching over them. Why else was she blessed to have such beautiful babies?

The growing girl was just the right mixture of Mary and John. She had his colours and her face. She was a beautiful child and Mary knew she would be a gorgeous woman. There was plenty of time for her to see her first born growing up in the future. But right then she really needed to save the cake mixture from falling on the floor.

Her baby may be academically gifted, but she really couldn’t cook to save her life.

Mercy was shocked out of her focus when her mum picked her up and rubbed her nose against Mercy’s flour covered one. She laughed at her mummy’s silliness and gave her a big kiss on the nose instead.

She had a sudden plan. Mercy giggled quietly and suddenly reached out. She rubbed her small floury hands all over her mum’s face and hair.

There was a moment of silence as Mary realised what her daughter had done. A mischievous smile crept onto her face, much like the one on the younger’s face moments ago, and Mary put down the rascal to reach for the bag of flour innocently sat on the surface.

The following half an hour was spent throwing ingredients at each other in a whirlwind of laughter and squeals of joy. The two girls ran around the kitchen in a fit of childish glee and aimed to make the other much messier than them. Laughs echoed throughout the empty house and faces hurt from the giant grins on faces.

It was a day ingrained into the young girl’s memory for life, the memory of fun and freedom to do anything and everything just to have some fun with her mother.

* * *

 

“Mercy, I love you!” Dean squealed from his position below his older sister. His sides were being attacked with constant streams of wiggly fingers.

“I can’t hear you Dean! You need to speak louder!” Mercy giggled.

The two were playing on the floor in the living room of their home. They had become bored with the blocks and decided that wrestling was the way to go. Of course Mercy won with little trouble being older, bigger and more coordinated than the four year old.

“I love you and you are the best big sister in the world!” Dean managed to scream out over the laughter.

Mercy stopped and grinned at her little brother. He was out of breath and bright red, and totally cute in Mercy’s opinion.

She thought that her brother was the most beautiful kid alive. He had amazing curly blond hair and wide green eyes. Giving him the appearance of what she thought angels looked like. And his round face and large pink lips made him so cute!

She hugged the warm little body close to her. He gladly hugged back and giggled when her hair tickled his nose.

“I love you too Deanie!” Mercy exclaimed.

“Mary I have had it! Why must you fight me on everything? I’ll be at the garage, don’t contact me until you come to your senses!”

The two children stayed sock still as they heard their daddy’s loud stomps go through the hall. They only allowed themselves to move when they heard the front door slam.

Mercy hugged Dean tighter when he started shaking. Sobs were muffled by her dampening shoulder; she hated it when her parents fought. It upset everyone and made Dean cry; it made her angry that they would do it where Dean could hear.

She got angrier and angrier as Dean continued crying. Heats bubbled in her middle, and made her want to scream and shout. But she knew that would just upset Dean even more.

She squeezed the boy closer to stop herself from crying at the situation. She had to protect Dean, not the other way around.

Soft sounds of crying came from the kitchen. Mercy’s eyes widened in realisation, her mummy was crying too.

The heat faded away, leaving the cold feeling of concern and helplessness. She picked up her brother and carried him to where their mummy was.

“It’s okay mummy. Daddy still loves us.”

* * *

 

“John, we need to go to the hospital!” An eight month pregnant Mary yelled in the middle of the night.

Mercy was up in a shot, recognising the words from when Dean was born. She got dressed as fast as she could and made sure Dean did the same. All the while making sure Dean didn’t panic by telling him exactly what was going to happen.

“She will cry, but that’s just because she is really happy that Sam is on the way!”

It was a rush much like when Dean was on the way, but it seemed much more controlled and Mary wasn’t moaning as much.

Hours went by with the two Winchester children huddled on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. The nurse was keeping an eye on them because Daddy needed to be with Mummy. Mercy couldn’t help but feel abandoned, she knew why, but it was still lonely.

Time trudged by and by the time John came to bring the two to see their new brother they were fast asleep.

Mercy was the bigger spoon, holding Dean close to her, and making an unhappy face whenever John tried to move Dean. It was amazingly cute and John felt guilty about waking them up.

But Sam needed to meet the whole family, and meet them he did. In the loud boisterous way the Winchesters always managed to do. Smiles were mirrored on each face.

It was finally complete.


	6. And So It Begins

Mercy’s behaviour with Sam was almost identical to how she treated Dean when he was a baby. Though she had learnt her lesson from the last time, now she made sure to sleep all she could. but she couldn’t help but look after her cute little brother’s, dedicating all her time to them and giving up any free time just to keep the two happy.

There were a few instances where Dean became jealous of Sammy. It was only expected. Mercy had spoiled the kid far too much, he didn’t take kindly to the fact he didn’t have all of Mercy’s attention anymore.

Mercy of course took it in stride and allowed Dean to follow her everywhere, and I mean _everywhere._ He even followed the eight year old into the toilet. Let’s just say he got a very stern talking to from their father.

But honestly, you try saying no to those eyes.

School life changed slightly for Mercy as well. Due to her being a big sister to two brothers the caring nature became the most prominent part of her personality. Her class mantes didn’t notice much of a change but the teacher could see. She continuously praised Mercy to the girl’s parents for “Helping and caring for everyone in the class. She has become almost like a big sister to all of them.”

To Mercy, it just felt like she had found her purpose in life. Not that she realised that, she was only eight at the time.

* * *

 

“See Dean, you have hold Sammy like this before you give him the bottle.”

Mercy was sat in the living room showing Dean the intricacies of looking after a three month old baby. Her mummy had said that Sammy had to be bottle fed because there was something wrong with her and couldn’t feed him like she fed Dean at that age.

She didn’t really care all that much, mummy had said that it wasn’t hurting her so Mercy didn’t think too hard on it. She was just happy she could look after Sammy and Dean like a good big sister.

“Mercy, can I have a try?” Dean asked with wide green eyes. He was bouncing on the spot with the excess energy four year olds always have.

Mercy sadly shook her head and patted the younger on the head.

“No Deanie. Mummy said you can’t until Sammy is older, but you can help change his nappy!” Mercy blurted the last part as she noticed the look on Dean’s face. He was prone to crying a lot when he couldn’t do something but thanks to her quick thinking, Dean’s face scrunched in disgust instead.

“Eww, I don’t want to! Sammy’s nappies are icky!”

Mercy laughed at her little brother. To be honest she thought Dean’s nappies were so much worse that Sammy’s when he was that age.

“Then you will have to wait until Sammy is big enough!”

She lifted Sammy to lean against her shoulder and gently patted the small back. She made sure to put a towel there first of course. She had already had the unfortunate pleasure of Sam dribble down the back of her dress and didn’t want a repeat.

She smiled gently when a soft burb exited Sammy’s mouth and watched Dean play with his fireman truck. It was a present from their mummy and daddy for his fourth birthday.

“I really love Dean and Sammy!” The oldest declared to her two little brothers. Little Sam giggled slightly.

Dean smiled widely at her and yelled.

“I love Mercy and Sammy!”

They all burst into giggles and didn’t stop even when their mummy showed up to see what was going on.

* * *

 

Mercy was rudely woken from the best sleep she had had in ages by small hands shaking her shoulder. Mercy didn’t have the energy to do anything and just waited for the culprit to go away.

When the shaking didn’t let up, Mercy’s foggy mind cleared enough for the irritation to show. Don’t let it be said that Mercy was a morning person. She loved sleep and was always grumpy in the morning before she had something to eat.

She was about to slap the arms that were _still_ shaking her when a small voice echoed in the dark room.

“Mercy, wake up please.” The voice was so weak and scared. Her big sister instincts over ruled any childish grumpiness. Mercy sat up quickly and hugged her little brother tightly.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” The small boy didn’t answer and just crawled into the bed with her.

She pulled her brother to lay down with her, the two curled into each other under the warm purple duvet. Dean started crying quietly into her shoulder, his little hands gripping her nighty firmly.

“I had a bad dream. You and mummy and daddy and Sammy left me all alone. I was scared, please don’t leave me.”

His little sobs broke her heart bit by bit. Mercy felt uncertain and useless about what to do. Her little brother was upset and she had no idea how to make it better. So she did what she always did when she was unsure, she sang.

She was never the best singer but her voice drifted over the words to ‘Hey Jude’ in a way that soothed Dean. Her soft voice missed some notes and she tripped over the more difficult lyrics but she put her heart in it.

She put all her feelings into the song, the need for Dean to be happy and the sadness she felt because he was upset. As she sung, one of her hands was stroking Deans head to calm him down whilst the other was keeping him as close as humanly possible to her.

It took a few verses before his crying slowed down and a few repeats of the song for him to completely relax. His grip on her slowly slacked as sleep crept up on his mind.

Mercy wasn’t sure when he finally drifted off but kept singing quietly to not only help him feel better but to reassure herself that everything was fine. That Dean was safe and no longer sad.

She dozed off after a while, still keeping the boy close.

Morning came with a bright glare of the sun, waking the occupants of the purple bed. Drool was wiped from faces in sleepy actions.

The two siblings were too warm and comfortable to do much. They just wanted to stay curled up for the rest of the day.

In fact, Mercy was going to do just that. She felt like she was lying in a cloud on a nice warm day. The perfect temperature of the bed just called the girl to go back into sleep land.

But of course her bladder disagreed. The eight year old groaned and rolled out of the bed in an ungraceful heap.

She wobbly walked down to the bathroom to do her business. Waking up fully as she exited the bathroom she heard Sammy making a fuss.

She knew that her parents wouldn’t notice the baby unless he started screaming (her daddy was a very loud snorer, and her mummy wasn’t too far behind), so she went to tend to him herself.

She was greeted with an unhappy Sammy. He was such a grumpy baby, he didn’t like a lot of things and made sure everyone knew.

Mercy childishly scrunched her nose at the smell of Sammy’s present. It had somehow managed to escape its container and spread up his back and into his hair. No wonder he was so grumpy, she wouldn’t be happy if that happened to her, and now she had to clean it all up.

The little girl just smiled and dragged the stool to the cot. She didn’t show any discomfort at the poo covered baby, even when she accidently got her hand covered in the stuff.

She just went about cleaning her baby brother up. What she hadn’t realised was that during the clean-up, her parents had woken up and found Dean, in her bed. They carried the still sleepy boy to the door of Sam’s nursery and watched the little girl.

“Mercy,” She jumped and spun around, only to calm down at the sight of her parents.

“Mercy, come here.” her mummy continued, opening her arms wide waiting for a hug.

She ran with a giggle to hug her family. She loved her family very much.

* * *

 

It had been a normal November Tuesday. Mercy had gone to school, Mary and John to work and Sam and Dean staying at the old lady next door whilst everyone was busy.

There was laughter and joy. A few tears here and there, but generally a good day for the family. They went on with life as normal.

Mercy played with her class, many fighting over who got to play with who first, running about and making things slightly difficult for their teacher.

It was during lunch that Mercy got a surprise. She was simply finishing off the packed lunch her mummy had made that morning, laughing with her best friend Lucy, when Michael asked her to come with him.

His face was red, he was fidgeting and he kept avoiding eye contact. It made everyone very curious, including Mercy.

She nodded at the boy and let him drag her out into the empty hallway. She tried not to focus on his sweaty hands and waited for him to get on with what he needed to say.

Seconds passed as he calmed himself down. It was strange watching him all nervous; Mercy was used to Michael being loud and brash. He spoke his mind all the time and didn’t care what others thought.

Sometimes he was really mean but she couldn’t fault him. It was better than thinking he was always hiding things from you.

“I like,” He took a deep breath to finish his sentence, “I like Lucy, can you tell her?”

Mercy stared at him, mind blank as she tried to compute what was just said to her.

She placed a hand on the poor boys shoulder and gave a bright smile. The smile that made Sammy laugh and Dean giddy because it meant she was planning something.

“I’m not going to tell her,” the look of betrayal flashed across Michael’s face, “Because you’re going to tell her.”

Without waiting for his reply she walked back into the classroom and yelled as she spotted her best friend.

“Lucy, Michael wants to tell you something!”

She pushed her unfortunate friend out of the room and shut the door behind Lucy, leaving the two alone.

She sat down once again, feeling smug.  

* * *

 

Tuesday turned to Wednesday. The first turned into the second of November. 1983. The tenth anniversary of Mary’s parent’s death.

Mercy was woken by her mother’s desperate calls for Sammy. The frantic tone pushing Mercy into panic, she ran quickly towards her littlest brother’s room as she heard her mummy scream.

She sped into the nursery to see a shadow of a man disappear. She rubbed her eyes and looked again at the corner of the room to see nothing. Her breaths came out in pants, she was frozen; she swore she saw something. Something like the yellow eyes of a monster, but her daddy had said monsters didn’t exist.

She was shocked out of her thoughts when her daddy picked her up into his arms.

“Mercy, was that you screaming?”

She couldn’t speak. There was a bad feeling in her stomach that stopped her from making a noise, but she managed to shake her head.

At least she didn’t think she screamed.

The two walked to Sammy’s cot to reassure them that nothing was wrong. She was put onto her stool and looked over to see Sammy smiling.

But even as she smiled back at the gummy baby, she couldn’t get rid of the bad feeling in her belly.

Something dripped onto the baby’s face, Mercy froze instantly. She recognised the colour, but she didn’t want to think about it. The bad feeling became almost crushing as her daddy wiped the drops off Sammy’s face.

Mercy quickly picked up her little brother for comfort. She held onto the baby like a life line.

More red drops fell onto Sammy’s pillow.

The father and daughter slowly raised their heads at the same time. It looked almost practiced apart from the fact both were taught with tension.

Two pairs of eyes widened at the sight on the ceiling. Mercy’s brain shut down then and there, she couldn’t process the scene she was seeing. All rational thought left her head, leaving her fight or flight instincts.

She bolted from the room with Sammy in her arms as flames burst to life in the room. She vaguely heard her daddy yelling something, but she paid no attention to it.

She had to get Dean and get out the house.


	7. The Mind Of A Child Is A Scary Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit. I'm a right soppy person and couldn't help but cry whilst writing the last part of the chapter. You guys probably won't, I just cry really easily.

It was all a blur. Colours, sounds, and memories blurred together to create a mess. Her thoughts made no sense and her mind was flooded with a thick substance that made everything become sluggish.

All she knew was she had to get Dean. She had to protect Sammy and Deanie. It repeated itself in her mind, over and over again. Protect Sam and Dean. Protect Sam and Dean. Protect Sam and Dean.

Her little bare feet thumped down the hallway, the thumps were as fast as the thumps in her chest. She panted and her body felt weak, but she stayed up and continued running. She gripped her precious package tight with one arm and used the other to open the door and grab Dean from his room.

She somewhat noticed the shoes on the boy’s feet weren’t tied as she pulled on his arm but didn’t think on it.

She felt the heat of the fire behind them; she could almost feel the flames lick the back of her bare legs. The house was creaking, groaning and cracking creating a tune with the roar of flames spreading through the house.

They were almost at the top of the stairs when Dean tripped on the undone laces. He fell onto the hard wooden floor making the panic rise even further in Mercy. His hands and knees were bleeding profusely from the impact, and Mercy knew he wouldn’t be able to walk with his knees like that.

She rushed to her brother’s side and saw the flames rushing towards them. Without even thinking she picked up her brother with her spare arm and ran down the stairs.

Her arms burned with the strain and her legs rapidly lost their strength with the added weight of the four year old. Her body couldn’t cope with the stress she was forcing on it and the smoke she was allowing into her body was depriving her of precious oxygen.

Her steps became slower and her breaths ragged. She was so tired, she couldn’t keep running. Her legs weren’t listening anymore and her arms felt like they were about to rip off. She wanted to give up. She didn’t have the ability to go on.

Just as she was about to fall to her knees, her mind allowed her to finally hear properly. It was crying, her two brothers were crying. Mercy felt useless and desperate. She was running out of options.

They weren’t allowed to cry, she was supposed to make sure they’re always happy. That’s what her mummy and daddy always told her, she had to look after her brothers.

Everything around her froze in that second. She could no longer hear the cries of her brothers or the roaring of the flames. Even the heat froze in that single second.

She had to look after her brothers.

Her eyes hardened and her brow furrowed. She pushed her screaming body further and gripped her brothers tighter.

She had to look after her brothers and will do that even if it means her body falls apart.

She would protect them until her body no longer worked.

She would protect them because they were all she had left.

She would protect them because that was her reason for being on the earth.

She would protect the two things more precious to her than her own life.

In that frozen second, her brothers became the only reason she would ever need to live.

Everything came rushing back and cleared the young girls head. She could hear the flames, see the hell their house had become, smell everything they had ever owned burn to ashes and she could feel the two lives in her arms.

With her new determination, Mercy started running down the hall towards the front door. She couldn’t feel her body screaming at her to stop and slow down. She didn’t feel her joints creak at the pressure or her bones groan.

She pushed her body past its limits and ruined her developing body.

But she didn’t care. The door was only a few more steps away. She was getting closer and closer to saving her brothers.

The feeling of relief of escaping the hell never came as the second she ran out the door she realised she couldn’t stop. Not until they were far away from the house. She remembered what she learnt in class, it felt like it had been years since she had been taught it, her teacher had told the class that if there ever was a fire you need to get as far away as you can because houses had gas.

Fire plus gas equalled explosion.

She ran as fast as she could towards the fire truck on the road. She screamed for help hoping one of the firemen noticed her and could protect her brothers.

Luck was in her favour as one of the men urged her to come to him. She sped straight into the large man’s arms and was enveloped in a hug.

It was uncomfortable and cold because of the man’s clothes but to Mercy it was the best hug she had ever had. As the panic slowly dripped away she realised she was becoming dizzy.

She stepped away from the concerned fire fighter and gave him a long, hard and extremely tired stare. She handed her crying brothers over to the man and ordered him to,

“Look after my brothers. If anything hap-happens to them y-you will re-regret it.” With that said she let the exhaustion drag her into oblivion.

She dropped like a stone.

* * *

 

Mercy woke with a shock. It took a few moments to realise that she was lying on a white bed and there was a faint _beep been beep_ in the background.

She felt a small body pressed against her side, she smiled when she saw Dean fast asleep. He looked so cute and innocent.

Her eyes darted to the door as her daddy walked through it with Sammy in his arms. She had an urge to take her littlest brother from her daddy and hold him herself. She felt her chest tighten as the urge got stronger and stronger.

Her daddy noticed straight away and placed the sleeping baby in her arms. She pulled the two boys close and let herself calm down. Sammy and Dean were safe.

As the last of the fear drained away Mercy began to feel the soreness in her body. I hurt like nothing she had ever felt before. Well, she was eight. She hadn’t really lived long enough to feel all that much pain.

She heard a sigh next to her and her daddy sat down next to her bed with a heavy sigh. He locked eyes with his oldest child.

“You did real good Mercy. You saved your brothers when I couldn’t. Thank you so much for saving all three of you.”

Mercy was unsettled when she saw the tears in his eyes. Her big and strong daddy was almost crying it wasn’t right. She felt like crying as well in that moment.

“Mercy I am so sorry. I know you saw it, in Sammy’s nursery. I’m sorry you had to see Mary like that.”

Tears streamed down his face as he sobbed into his hands over the loss of his wife, the love of his life, the mother of his three children. He was hunched over in the plastic chair. Mercy had never seen him like this before, had never seen him look so small.

Mercy stared at her daddy. She had been trying so hard to not think about it. But her dad managed to bring the memory into focus. She couldn’t handle it; tears fell down her face in a mirror of her father.

She could see her now. Her beautiful mummy pinned to the ceiling with her insides on show. How pale she was and how broken she looked. Her eyes were blank, not showing the love that was always there.

“Daddy, is mummy dead?” She had to ask. She had to know for sure.

“I’m sorry, Mary’s gone. I’m so sorry.” Mercy wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or her mother.

Her mother that wasn’t there anymore,

It hurt so much!

Where did the angels go?

* * *

 

The eyes were the worst. They kept following her everywhere she went. They were watching her when she was in the hospital and were always there in her dreams; nightmares really.

They were always the same, yet always different.

It was always that night. Always the night she watched her mummy burn. But sometimes it would change. Sometimes it would be Dean, or Daddy, or Sammy, or sometimes all four of them. Just pinned to the ceiling, their insides dangling next to her head, the worst one was when she was the one that put them there. She was the one with those sick yellow eyes. She was the one that was the monster.

She could hardly sleep nowadays, hardly surprising. Her nightmares would wake her up stupidly early and would not let her sleep until the next night where it would all just repeat.

The sad part was she had become mute from the trauma. Or at least that was what the doctors had said. She hadn’t spoken a word since she asked her dad.

So she couldn’t cry out when her nightmares became too much. She couldn’t tell her brothers everything would be alright (is it really?), and she couldn’t sing.

She couldn’t do the one thing that would connect her to her mummy. She couldn’t soothe Sammy when he got loud, couldn’t help Dean through his own nightmares.

And Dean seemed determined to follow by her example.

Her family was falling apart, her whole world was falling apart and she just didn’t know what to do.

* * *

 

Mercy was currently having a staring contest with one Missouri Moseley. She wasn’t sure how it had started or why, but she couldn’t seem to stop.

She had come in with her dad sat down and somehow managed to get in this situation.

The woman hadn’t even acknowledged her dad or brothers. Just walked in and knelt in front of her.

She held up a finger every time her dad tried to say something and shushed him when he didn’t get the message. It had managed to get a giggle out of Dean which Mercy was grateful for.

The woman in front of her was very pretty. Not in the typical sense, but the way she held herself made her look like a proud and beautiful queen.

“Well thank you sugar.”

Mercy blinked. She knew she didn’t say that, she hadn’t said anything for weeks now. So why did this lady thank her?

“Just because you can’t speak it doesn’t mean you can’t tell people things.”

She went wide eyed at the dark skinned woman. She could hear her thinking? That wasn’t possible. Things like that didn’t really exist, except,

“You know I can hear you Mercy. So you can tell me what you want to tell your daddy and I can tell him instead. Okay Pumpkin.”

Mercy nodded. If what she said was really true then she could tell her dad what had hurt her mummy!

“You know what burned down your house?!” The woman looked very surprised. It confused Mercy a little. The lady had known that she wanted to tell her dad. Why didn’t she know exactly what she wanted to tell him?

“I can read your thoughts, not know everything you know. And pumpkin, my name is Missouri.”

She nodded at the explanation. That made sense, in her head it did anyway.

“Yes John, she knows what hurt Mary. But pressuring her will do nothing but make things worse! She can’t speak so of course she hadn’t told you!” Missouri glared at her dad. She must’ve heard what he was thinking.

She turned to look at Mercy again with kind eyes. Like the way… mummy had kind eyes….

“Now pumpkin, will you tell me what you saw?”

Mercy decided to do one better and show Missouri what exactly had happened that night.

Oh, the memories still scared her and the pain of not having her mummy anymore wasn’t going anywhere. But she had been through it so many times in her dreams that she could think back on it without losing control of her mind.

“Oh pumpkin, you grew up fast. You’re so mature already.” Why was Missouri sad when she said that? Wasn’t it good that she grew up? Now she could look after her family properly.

“No, you’re not supposed to have to do that! That is your daddy’s job!”

Mercy decided to ignore that. Her mummy had said that big sisters were supposed to look after her little brothers. So that was what she was going to do.

She brought forward the memories of that night before Missouri could correct her again.

Her heart froze and ached so much going through it again. But she was strong. She could handle it.

She remembered hearing her mummy running down the hall, and the scream. She remembered running in….

She couldn’t handle it! Those eyes just wouldn’t leave her alone! They’re what hurt her mummy and they just wouldn’t go away!

They were evil and mean and bad and kept showing up in the corner of her eye! Her family wasn’t safe! It was still following them! Teasing her! Letting her know that it could take more of her family!

Her mind was nothing but those horrible yellow eyes. Staring at her, looking into her soul, they were going to hurt her!

She didn’t realised she had been screaming until her throat began to burn. It was the first sound that had come out of her mouth in weeks and she didn’t like it.

Missouri enveloped her in a hug as she sobbed. She wanted her mummy! Why did the yellow eyes have to take her mummy away?!

“Mummy, I want my mummy! Give me back my mummy! She said she’d be there forever. She promised to help me! She promised! She promised! She promised! She promised! I want my mummy!”

She screamed and screamed and screamed for her mummy to come back. But she wouldn’t.

It wasn’t fair. She was her mummy.

She wasn’t supposed to leave them all alone.

She just didn't want to be alone anymore.


	8. Dragging Sammy Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've arrived at the start of the Supernatural show. Let's see how much Mercy's presence changes the fate of everyone.

_22 years later_

“Dean, I’m telling you, we don’t need to disturb Sammy’s ‘Normal Life’ just for this. We can find Dad on our own.”

“Yeah, like that’s been working well for the past few weeks. Mercy, we need Sam with us. He will help.”

Mercy sighed at the back of Dean’s head. She missed those times in the past where he would listen to her every word and followed her around like a cute little duckling. Now, he was just a big stubborn muscle head who acted like he was the oldest.

She stretched out across the backseat of the Impala making her-self comfortable. She may as well grab a nap before yanking their littlest brother from his cushy life. It took a few hours to reach the dorms from where they were, and that stupid monster had given her a sore back.

The sound of the Impala’s engine was like a lullaby by that point, helping her drift along to sleep.

“Why do you think Dad’s gone?”

Mercy didn’t bother opening her eyes at the sound of Dean’s small voice. He never could handle too much attention when he let a small bit of vulnerability through. As much as he may deny it, Mercy knew she was the only one he could ever let his walls down so far. He played the part of tough older brother well enough but to Mercy he would only ever be her little brother that wouldn’t let go of her when she had to go to school.

“God only knows how that man’s mind works. I doubt he’s hurt; he would’ve managed to send word to us if he was. He probably just found something on old yellow eyes and went rampaging down the highway.”

Not hearing a reply, Mercy allowed her mind to drift off into the land of sleep, the soft sound of Dean’s music surrounding her.

* * *

 

When Mercy later woke up, she could almost physically feel the tension pouring off Dean in waves. The poor man was wracked with nervousness and didn’t look to be calming down anytime soon.

She understood the feeling. It had been years since they had properly spoken to their brother, it was no fault of their own. They tried to call him but the idjit couldn’t be bothered talking to his family. So yeah, she wasn’t sure how he was going to react to his older siblings showing up and dragging him back into the life he tried so hard to escape. He would probably kick them out with a few choice words.

She was snapped out of her musings by the rather forceful stopping of the car. She groaned her dislike and hoped Dean would just leave her alone.

“Time to wake up sleeping beauty, we’ve got a sasquatch to get.”

She groaned louder this time, but made her way out the car all the same. She couldn’t wait to give her giant brother a long overdue hug.

“So how are we going to do this? Are we using the window or door, knocking or entering?”

She rolled her eyes at the cheeky smile Dean was giving her. Sometimes her brother really could be a giant kid, where he got the energy she didn’t know. But she knew it lead to lots of funny moments.

“What do you think?!” Entering through the window it was. Sammy was in for the shock of his life, or maybe that was the day she had to explain the Birds and the Bees to him? His face that day was too hilarious.

They were about to head off when she noticed something. Trust her brother to make life more difficult than it needed to be.

“Dean, you’re not going to need your gun. Leave it in the car.”

“C’mon Mercy, we never know-”

“Put it in the car Dean.” She glared at him, daring him to go against her. But of course Dean was a stubborn ass and wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“But-”

“Dean, you are a grown man. Stop acting like a child and put your gun in the car. You have your knives if something goes wrong.”

He sighed in defeat and put his gun back in the glove compartment. He sarcastically raised his hands to show he didn’t have any more guns.

“Happy now _mum_?”

Mercy felt the familiar urge to slap his head itch in her hand. Not one to repress her urges, she let her hand fly and felt a smidge of satisfaction when a loud smack echoed through the dark empty street. It was almost a miracle that she actually managed to hit her brother’s head seeing as she just barely reached his shoulder.

It wasn’t all that fun being the smallest in the family, you get picked on and picked up, and you can never get your stuff back because their arms may as well be the top of Everest. However it did help her improve her climbing skills.

The two just laughed at each other and made their way towards the apartment they knew Sammy was in. He may have abandoned them but there was no way in hell they were leaving him on his own. Neither commented on the fact that the messing around was just to calm the nerves. There was no need to.

Breaking- I mean opening the window was easy, far too easy. Mercy was going to have words with that brother of hers, he couldn’t have become that complacent that he didn’t put extra protection around the place.

She had to admire it though. Sam had made quite the nice little home. There wasn’t much on the walls or on any of the surfaces but there was that distinct Home feel that she hadn’t felt for so many years. She was proud of the gigantor; he made the most of his normal life.

Her other brother, of course, ignored everything and went straight for the beer fridge. He could detect beer and pie from anywhere in the building. It was almost scary if it weren’t for the fact she and Sammy had similar homing abilities, but for other things of course.

Sammy would always find the exact book needed to find out any and all lore on the monster they were hunting and she just instinctively knew who would help on a case or who had the hot’s for her. It made picking people up that much easier. What? Dean had to have gotten it from somewhere.

She shook her head at her brother’s ridiculousness; she’d be surprised if Sam hadn’t heard him making a racket with the bottles. She decided to just stand in the shadows and wait for the youngest Winchester to walk in.

She didn’t have to wait long and was treated with the sight of her brothers try to beat each other up. The idiots didn’t notice her, apparently fighting was more important. She just about stifled her laugh when Sam finally realised who it was he was attacking.

“Wow easy there tiger.”

“Dean? You scared the crap outta me.” Oh come on Sammy,

“That’s coz you’re outta practice.”

Dean ended up eating his words when Sam flipped them over. Mercy winced at the sound of impact, he may be out of practice but the youngest Winchester could really pack a punch. Must be from all the health nut routines he forced himself through, god knows it wasn’t cheap when he was in a ‘fruit and veg is the way to go’ mood when they were younger.

“Or not, now get off me.” As they pulled each other up, Mercy had the time to truly appreciate how tall Sam had grown. The kid had been just slightly taller than Dean when he left for college and even then Dean had done a bit of growing. Now looking at them side by side Sam was huge, in height and muscle. The kid had obviously been looking after himself.

“Dean, what are you doing here?” Mercy shrank when she heard the hostility in his voice. It was bad enough knowing they weren’t welcome in Sam’s new life, but for him to be so openly defensive about it made her more guilty about asking for his help.

“I was looking for a beer.” Because that’s what all brothers look for when they break into their brothers home. She sighed silently at her brother’s way of dealing with Sam, she had tried to drill some common sense into the boy’s head but it seemed to have only worked on Sam.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Mercy decided against announcing her presence. She figured it would only make things worse. It wasn’t like she was forcing Dean to handle it all, not at all…….

“Okay, alright, we gotta talk.”

“Um the phone?!” Sarcastic Sammy wasn’t fun to deal with. She bet that if she could see, he’d have his famous ‘Bitch Face’ as Dean called it. Deciding to save her brother from her other brother’s glare she spoke out, scaring the crap out of both of them.

“If we had called, would you have picked up?” Sam calmed down at the sight of her before giving a guilty look. She knew he hated disappointing her, but there was a line on how much you’re allowed to ignore your family.

The light flickered on and all eyes shot to the blonde girl in the door way. Mercy deduced that she was Sam’s girlfriend but she couldn’t help admiring the view, it wasn’t often she was given the chance to ogle another woman.

“Sam?” She had a nice voice too. How the hell did that nerdy kid bag a smoking hot girl like her?

“Hey, Jess. Um, Dean, Mercy, this is Jess, my girlfriend.” He emphasised the ‘Girlfriend part’ knowing full well what his siblings were like when it came to a hot person.

“Jess, this is Dean and that’s Mercy.”

Realisation sparked in her eyes and she moved in further notably more comfortable.

“Wait, your siblings Dean and Mercy?” Cue Dean’s flirty smile, he may have gotten his flirty attitude from her but at least she knew when someone was off limits.

“I-uh, love the Smurfs.” He completely ignored the glares coming from his siblings and pointed towards the intricately placed Smurfs on the poor girl’s top.

“I gotta tell you. _You_ are completely out of my brother’s league.” He stepped closer to the uncomfortable girl no registering her discomfort.

She had had enough. She dragged her slut of a brother back to where Sam was fuming. She should’ve known Dean would find a way to embarrass her.

“If she’s out of Sam’s league then there is no way she’s anywhere near your league. Next time you want to piss us all off, try not hitting on Sam’s significant other.”

Dean laughed it off and placed a friendly arm around her shoulders putting more weight than needed on her. She was used to the weight though and had no problem keeping him up.

“Come on Mercy. We all know you were looking too. Don’t tell me off for doing what you were thinking.” It took one look on Sam and Jess’ faces to realise that her loving little brother hadn’t told her about Mercy’s ‘habits’ as their dad called it.

“I’ll just go get something else on.” Mercy sighed again. She was used to people acting strange when they found out about her preferences and was pretty much resigned to it always happening. But it was kind of insulting when they showed so much discomfort.

“No, no! I wouldn’t dream of it. Seriously,” Fed up now with his non-existent manners Mercy sent a swift kick to the back of his knees and watched the middle Winchester fall to the ground in an ungraceful heap.

“There’s flirting, there’s being disrespectful and there’s just being plain creepy. You can tell she’s not happy with you hitting on her so stop it.”

Her only answer was a painful groan and a grateful smile from the two love birds. However, the peace didn’t last as Dean recovered quickly and opened his mouth again.

“Anyway, we gotta borrow your boyfriend over here and talk about some private family business. But it was nice meeting you.”

There was no getting inside that thick head of his. If she didn’t know any better she could’ve sworn he’d been dropped too many times as a baby.

“No.” Sam moved to take position next to Jess. “No, whatever you’ve want to say you can say it in front of her.”

Dean was obviously not happy with this but a quick glare kept him quiet on the matter.

“Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.” She voiced out. May as well get it over with and hope Sam didn’t make the same mistake as Dean did with Cassie. That was ugly to sort out, she’s pretty sure they’re never allowed back in that town.

“So he’s working overtime on a miller time shift. He’ll stumble back home again sooner or later.” Seriously, she knew he had some issues with Dad (hell, she had few too) but did he really think they’d be there if it was just a case of him getting wasted?

“Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days.” Dean said, taking over for me.

Sam’s eyes widened as he finally understood what we were trying to tell him. He stepped away from his girlfriend and pushed her gently away.

“Jess, excuse us. We need to go outside.”


	9. Old Habits Die Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once I've finished with the first episode I should be zooming through the episodes (there's a lot of them and it would take forever to get through them all). But I will make sure that any episodes important to the plot are included.  
> Thanks for sticking with the story for so long and I hope to hear your opinions on it!

“I mean, come on. You can’t just break in in the middle of the night and expect me to hit the road with you!”

Watching grown men arguing like children as they made their way down the stairs would be a strange thing to witness if you weren’t Mercy who had heard every whining tone either of them could possibly make.

“You’re not hearing me Sammy. Dad’s missing; I need you to help us find him.”

“Remember the poltergeist in Amherst, or the Devil’s gate in Clifton. He was missing then too, he’s always missing and he’s always fine!”

“Not for this long, now are you going to come with us or not?”

Mercy rubbed her forehead in hopes to soothe the oncoming head ache. She was thirty years old and still had to put up with her kid brothers arguing. Was it really too much to ask them to grow up and discuss things like the adults they’re supposed to be. In fact, the two of them argued less when they were kids and if they did, it was never in front of her.

“Mercy, you know as well as I do that dad is just out drinking somewhere!” And now they’re dragging her into it.

“You know something’s wrong! Tell him Mercy!”

She snapped and glared at the two hot heads, enough was enough. Was it really that impossible for her to relax and let the boys look after themselves for once?

“That’s enough! You’ve been together for no more than ten minutes and already you’re arguing! Now Sam, Dean’s right.” Said brother opened his mouth to retaliate but was silenced with a warning finger. “It’s not like Dad to go on such a long trip without telling me. Yes it might be nothing but something just doesn’t feel right and you know just as well as us that a Hunter’s instincts should never be ignored!”

Sam looked angry but subdued and Dean was smiling victoriously until Mercy set her sights and finger on him.

“And Dean, Sam’s right. He has a normal life now, he has responsibilities, and as much as we don’t like it, he can’t just drop everything and go on a hunt with us! I thought I taught you brats better than this!”

She took a deep breath to calm down and think rationally. It’s hard to make decisions when your head is filled with emotions and this needed to be resolved then and there. She rubbed her head in an attempt to distract from the stress of the situation.

“Be that as it may, we really need you Sam. You’re good when it comes to finding people. As long as you don’t have anything too important then we should head off.”  
Mercy knew she had won by the look on the youngest face. His ever famous Bitch Face making it very obvious just how much he’d prefer not to go, but he had no argument against her.

“Fine, but I need to be back here by Monday!”  
-

Hours passed and Mercy was once again fast asleep in the back of the car. The two other Winchesters sat in an awkward silence listening to the soft snores of their older sister.  
The scenery passed by and became boring for Sam to watch. He turned his attention to his two siblings, hoping for something to relieve the mind numbing nothing.

“Hasn’t Mercy been sleeping properly?” Sam broke the silence, unable to withstand being left to his own thoughts.

“We’re hunter’s Sammy; sleep isn’t really something we do.” Dean replied. Silence enveloped the Impala once again. It wasn’t like Dean to not have any music on, but Sam just assumed it was for the sake of Mercy. She seemed to be tired and cranky when they were at his place, and a bit of sleep could do her good.

“She didn’t want you to come with us you know.” Sam blinked a few times before he processed that his brother was talking to him.

“What do you mean?” He felt a small pang of hurt at the thought that his sister didn’t want to be near him.

“She didn’t want to drag you from your normal life. Man, you know as well as I, that all she’s wanted for us is to have at least a semi normal life, or for us to follow what we want to do.”

Dean avoided facing Sam to keep a sense of stoicism in the car. He focused intently on the road, making sure not to drive into any ditches so his car didn’t get damaged. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to disturb Mercy, not at all.

“What was it like after I left?” Sam asked, his voice almost a whisper, like he was unsure if he really wanted to know the answer.

“Dad wasn’t happy obviously. He was either cursing your name or acting as if you never existed, either way he became stricter and didn’t want us out of his sight. He didn’t even let Mercy shower without knocking on the door to make sure she was still there. Mercy said it was because he was afraid of losing us like he lost you.”  
Sam snorted with frustrated laughter.

“He didn’t lose me. He told me to never come back so I didn’t.”

“Mercy thought he was being stupid as well, but put up with it. I think she understood where he was coming from, we all felt that way. Sam you’re our family, you should have ignored what dad said and at least called us.”

Sam said nothing. He knew Dean had a point, but he was too stubborn, he didn’t want to go back to the hunting life. He didn’t want anything to ruin what he managed to build. Even now it was just a onetime thing, he was going back to Stanford and life would go on like normal.

“It was two months later when Mercy finally lost it. You know what she can be like, stews in her anger for a while before exploding on who ever pissed her off. This time it was Dad. He was drunk of his head and said a ton of things he didn’t mean, it was enough to make her twitchy. Then he said something about being disappointed in you and Mercy lost it. There was a lot of yelling and things being thrown across the room. They got louder and things got really heated, I don’t think they even knew what they were saying at that point. Then Dad…”

Sam narrowed his eyes in suspicion as Dean clenched his jaw. The older brother was obviously uncomfortable about what he was about to say, hesitant to even tell Sam.

“What did Dad do?” Sam had a dangerous edge to his tone. It only ever happened when he was angry with Dad.

“Look Sammy-“

“It’s Sam.” Dean sighed. 

“Look, they were both being stupid and said some bad things.”

“Dean, just tell me already!” Sam instantly quieted. Both listened for the tell-tale sound of their sister waking up. When all they heard was the quiet snores they sighed in relief and continued their conversation in hushed tones.

“Dad said some crap about Mercy not raising you right which pissed her off even more.”

Sam couldn’t stop the laugh that rose from his chest.

“She shouldn’t have had to raise us.” He muttered under his breath knowing that Dean could hear every word. The older brother chose to ignore the younger and continued with his story.

“So Mercy told him that Mum would be disgusted with how he was treating us.”

Every muscle in Sam’s body froze with that one statement. Even he didn’t broach the subject of their Mum. It was a taboo subject that should never be used.

“Dad completely lost it and hit her.” Sam’s eyes widened in shock as he tried to digest the information he had just been given. 

Their Dad had never been the best but he never hit any of them outside of training, and even then he held back a lot of his strength. He even went as far as telling him and Dean to protect Mercy because, whilst she was a great fighter, men were built bigger and she was small, more so than the average woman. 

“The worst part is that he wouldn’t stop. He knocked her to the ground and kept hitting her. It scared the crap outta me Sammy, and you know I don’t scare that easy. I managed to pull him away from her but he wouldn’t stop screaming at her.”

Dean took a deep breath to calm down, and relieve some tension from his body.

“The funny thing is, she just got up like she hadn’t just been whaled on and beat his ass seven ways to Sunday. He tried to fight back of course. Dad would never let a woman beat him down. But he couldn’t, she knocked him to the ground and held a knife to his throat.”

“She did what? Dean, why are you telling me about all this?”

He only just heard the faint frustrated growl from Dean as he searched for the words.

“You’re better at this whole emotional stuff okay. Sam, after she beat him she said something that doesn’t sit right with me. She said “It seems old habits never die.””  
Sam finally figured what Dean was trying to say.

“You think he abused her when we were kids.”

The silence was all the answer he needed.

-

Mercy wasn’t a happy bunny at that moment in time. Gone were her comfy leather boots, gone were her sturdy jeans and thin flannel and most important, gone was her trusty over the shoulder bag that had everything you could need on a supernatural hunt. Like a smaller compact version of the Impala’s trunk with more salt, holy water and silver knives than guns. (No Dean, it was not a purse. It wasn’t her fault that the chances of getting girl’s clothes with some decent pockets were next to impossible.) 

It was all for the sake of getting tossed in a suit to look like FBI, she even had to put on make-up because nothing says professionalism like just the right amount of powder. Luckily she got to keep her wave dark chocolate hair up in a ponytail.

“No offence agent, but your partners seem a bit young to be FBI don’t you think.”

Mercy carefully kept her face blank as she conversed with the local authorities. It was the only way they took her seriously, so she had to stand tall and basically act like a stuck up bitch with an ice cold attitude.

“Excellent observation there sir, but if you actually took your time to think about it you’d realise that that is exactly why I’m also here. I’m here to supervise, if you have any problems with that then please take it up with me at a later date.”

That was enough to get the idiots to realise that she meant business and answer the questions they had. Unfortunately they had to take a swift leave as Dean had been Dean and managed to irritate the men.

It was in the nick of time it would seem, the real FBI walked past the three siblings and went to talk to the police. Knowing when their cover is blown the Winchesters bolted to the Impala and drove off.  
\----

“Really Dean, of all things you could have said it had to be boobs. Do you really want to be on the receiving end of police brutality? Because I think those cops were very close to punching you.”

“Come on Mercy, I escaped didn’t I?” Mercy swore she had no idea where the strength to not hit him came from. But it had been Dean’s saviour for years.

“Yes, yes. You’re amazing.” Dean gave a wide smile and Mercy didn’t have the heart to continue through with her sarcastic comment.

Sam may have got the puppy eyes, but Dean got the innocent smile that was too filled with joy to force away.

It was a surprise that she had been able to refuse them anything when they were small.


	10. And The Topic Of The Day: John Winchester

She hated herself.

Her baby brother was in danger and all she could do was stare. She almost let her brother die because she froze, and that was unacceptable.

Mercy had curled herself up in the corner of the motel room, as far away from the door as possible, a coping mechanism she had developed when she was young. She could see every entrance and exit so there was no way for anything to make their way in without her knowing about it. A flash of yellow eyes burst into her mind startling her into curling into herself more. Her arms crushed between her legs and stomach gaining as much comfort as she could from hugging herself.

Every second that passed by raised her tension more until she stated bleeding from digging her nails into her own arms. Not that she could feel the pain. All her senses were wired looking for any danger that would come for her brothers.

She knew that Sam was also having a meltdown, rightfully so, his girlfriend had just died. She also knew that Dean was feeling panicked and useless, trying to snap the two of them out of it. But she couldn’t calm down yet, she had seen those damn eyes again!

A wave of self-loathing cloaked her once again. She had no right to behave this way. It was achieving nothing but pain for all of them. She was a horrible sister; she wasn’t suitable to protect her family. If something as simple as _eyes_ managed to knock her sick then she couldn’t claim to be a hunter, a Winchester. She could hear it now, her parents yelling at her, saying she should never have been born. Maybe then her family would be happy and whole?

“Mercy, are you there?”

Was someone talking to her? She didn’t know. She just had to keep an eye on the door and a hand on her knife that was discreetly strapped around her waist. Her small silver one, it was a present from Sam and Dean a few years ago.

“Mercy, snap out of it!”

Snap out of what? She was doing her job. She couldn’t veer from her duty again; she couldn’t let the yellow eyed bastard hurt her family for the third time.

“Mercy, please, Sam really needs you right now!”

Sam? Sammy was in trouble? Did she fail already?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. How did she screw up this time? Oh God, what if Sam was dying because she can’t even make her way out of her own head?!

“Mercy,” A hand landed on her shoulder shocking her into motion. In a blur, the source of the offending hand was pinned and her pristine knife placed dangerously close to a vital part of Dean’s neck.

Wait a minute, Dean’s neck.

Her knife was against Dean’s Neck!

Her mind cleared and she realised that her younger brother was pinned underneath her in a very perilous position. His eyes mirroring hers with shock and traces of fear, Mercy sharply moved her armed hand from its place and sheathed it.

“Oh shit, Dean? Are you okay? I’m so sorry!” She manually moved his head from side to side to make absolutely sure that she hadn’t managed to hurt him in her dazed state. Deeming him to be unharmed if not a bit shaken, she got off of him and pulled him into a hug.

She felt her body shake with relief and adrenaline. Her body slowly warmed up from its cold dread from her momentary panic. She petted her concerned brother’s hair in more of an attempt to calm her down than him. She heard him make an unhappy grunt but allowed her to continue her calming activity.

Dean had always had such soft hair. Not that you could really feel it due to how short it was but it always felt silky when she had a chance to touch it. Though it wasn’t as soft as Sam’s hair, the kid always took too much care of his long lock and left it smoother than silk.

Her hand froze with tension at the thought. She remembered Sammy, poor Sammy who was going through so much heartbreak.

“Dean, where’s Sammy? I need him! You’re both supposed to stay with me. Where is he?!” She didn’t recognise her own voice. So weak and childish, much like that time all those years ago. It wasn’t right, that wasn’t her now.

Dean shushed his older sister and slowly guided her to where Sam was watching in worry. There was nothing like your sister breaking down to distract you from sinking into a pit of grief and anger.

As soon as she was in touching distance she grabbed hold of her other brother, her tight grip not allowing either of them to leave her side. And let her know that they were there, they were safe. She had them and they weren’t getting out of her sight.

* * *

 

The next few days were difficult for all of them. Sam had become so angry and depressed about the death of Jess. His mood swings always negative and terrifying, one minute he looks like he is about to off himself and the next he’s baying for the blood of everyone and anyone.

Many motel rooms were destroyed after his “Episodes” and the other two Winchesters weren’t sure what to do other than let him sort it out and stay by his side.

Dean wasn’t doing too great either. He hid it spectacularly well, but Mercy knew him too well to be tricked by his macho mask. He was breaking under the stress of supporting Sam and the worry for Mercy.  

Mercy didn’t talk about what had happened that day but the boys had an idea why she reacted so horribly but never brought it up. No one commented on the fact that she made sure to always know where they were or where they were going and what time they were coming back. She was once again the dependable older sister who had everything under control.

She braved Sam’s episodes and let Dean lean on her for support and generally looked after the boys to the point where they had nothing to do but sit and stew, until they had all grown sick of it and went searching for their missing Dad.

It was easier said than done.

* * *

 

“Hey, Mercy, can I ask you something?” Sam called from behind his laptop. He was sat on the creaky motel bed researching for any sign of a hunt their Dad may investigate.

Mercy and Dean were ‘practicing their poker’ at the table, drinking some form of cheap beer that Mercy didn’t really like but she never felt right playing a card game without alcohol. She blamed Dean and their Dad. They were the ones that kept placing a bottle in her hand when they played.

“What’s up Sammy?” She asked, slapping Dean’s hand when he reached for her drink. He had his own, thank you very much.

“Why do you hate Dad so much?” If it weren’t for the salt lining the room, Mercy could’ve sworn a ghost had appeared. The air became that cold and stiff.

She could see Dean give Sam the ‘You should not have said that!’ look from the corner of her eye. Sam replied with one of his ‘Bitch faces’, the boy never did understand some questions were better not asked.

She knew there was no getting out of answering and sighed in defeat and sudden mental exhaustion. Her relationship with their Dad was complicated to say the least.

“First things first, I don’t hate Dad, I probably never could. He’s my Dad and I’ll always love him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get on my nerves.”

She shifted slightly, feeling awkward talking about this kind of thing with her two little brothers. The looks they were giving her just made it that much worse.

“I’ve always disagreed with how he wanted to raise you, you already knew that. But it’s more than that.” Her voice was tired, weak with emotion.

The silence rung around the room, as she searched for the right words to use. The boys were patient, letting her collect her thoughts.

“I remember how he was before the fire. He was one of those goofy but strict Dad’s, he wanted nothing but for us to grow up happy and to achieve great things. He promised me and Mum that you two would become whatever you set your minds on. And that he would always support you no matter what.”

“He really said that?” Sam asked in confusion. That didn’t sound like the man who disowned his own son for getting into Stanford.

“That’s why I don’t respect him all that much anymore. He broke that promise and forced us into this life, didn’t give any of us the option of doing other things.”

She placed her face in her hands, elbows resting on the table top.

“God knows that man loves us with everything he’s got. It would be the end of everything if he ever thought anything was more important than us. He will always love us, but he sometimes loves too much. He goes after this yellow eyed monster because he’s scared it’s going to come back and hurt us.”

She raised her head and made sure to make eye contact with both of the hunters. The intensity of her stare caused the boys to be unable to look away.

“He’s not a great Father, but he’s not a terrible one. He’s our Dad and don’t you ever believe he wouldn’t crawl through hell for us.”

* * *

 

Mercy knew the boys weren’t going to be able to sleep that night. They had been distracted ever since she had answered Sam’s question, thinking over what she said. Probably trying to fit her description with how they saw him.

John Winchester was the most contradictory father to ever exist. He loved them so much, but never showed it. He was scared and paranoid, but covered it with promises of avenging their mum. He wanted them to live the best life they can and stay safe but forces them to go on life threatening cases all the time.

Mercy knew her Dad was a bastard, but he had a good heart, even if he couldn’t raise them for shit.

She was the one who fed them.

She was the one who enrolled them into school and made them do homework.

She was the one who made them join sports clubs that would teach them skills that would keep them alive if in trouble.

She was the one who taught them how to read and write and count.

She was the one who bought the boys clothes and made sure to buy too big male clothes for her, because money for clothes wasn’t always there and the kids were shooting up like weeds.

She taught them right from wrong and stood up for them if some nosy idiots thought they were delinquents.

She dressed them and put shoes on their tiny feet.

She read to them when they couldn’t sleep and sang to them when they were ill.

She taught them how to tie their shoelaces and how to keep the room from being invaded by supernatural creatures.

She made sure they never thought they were freaks and gave them the most normal childhood she could.

Mercy raised herself and her brothers in her father’s place. But she wasn’t angry at her Dad because she had to raise Sam and Dean, no, she was angry that she had to do it alone.

Nothing scarred the mind and soul more than being forced to grow up when you hadn’t yet reached double digits, to become a parent before she could experience the world.

That was why she didn’t think John Winchester had any right to decide how they were raised no matter how much he loved them.


	11. Back To The Beginning

Sam’s Dreams were the focus of Mercy’s worries. Or were they Visions? She had no clue just that they didn’t mean anything good.

And yes, the capitals were needed.

Sam had never shown signs of being psychic before.

It was scary. Their family had no history of psychics, on either side.  It didn’t help that Mercy was sure that these Visions were caused by the yellow eyed monster. Call it a huntress’ instinct. She knew they were going to cause nothing but trouble for them.

The first clue was that stupid tree he had been drawing. Oh, she recognised it all right. She had managed to ruin many dresses and trousers climbing up it when she was small. She just hoped to God it wasn’t actually that tree Sam was seeing.

Denial always made things so much harder in the end.

* * *

 

“We shouldn’t be here.” Mercy said from her place in the back of the Impala.

They were outside her childhood home, or as she liked to call it, the house of nightmares and false dreams.

She could feel her chest tighten as flashbacks tried to force their way to the front of her mind. It was only the years of experience that let her keep them behind her mental block. Unfortunately it didn’t stop the screams from ringing around her head or the blistering heat she could feel creeping up her back.

She had to keep a hand on Sam and Dean’s shoulders to ground her mind. There was no fire or danger and Sammy and Dean were safe. She just needed to keep reminding herself of those facts.

“Mercy, there’s a reason I had visions of this place. The owners could be in serious danger! Isn’t that our job, keeping people safe?”

She knew he was right. Whatever the reason they were brought there, the family living there didn’t deserve to go through the same suffering she had endured.

Dean wasn’t doing too great either. She knew he had a few vague memories of the place, and a fire that managed to destroy your childhood wasn’t something you could forget that easily. But he was better than Mercy.

“Well, there’s no time like the present.”

Before she knew it, she managed to force her body to go to the front door and knock. Sam and Dean stood just behind her, letting her take control of the situation.

A sarcastic “thanks” floated in her mind.

The woman who opened the door looked so much like their mum that it took a second for Mercy to speak. She could feel her heart pounding and adrenaline made her want to run far away from the house.

She forced down the lump in her throat enough to talk to the concerned looking mother.

“Hi, sorry for bothering, my name is Mercy Winchester and these are my brothers Sam and Dean. We used to live here; we were in the area and wanted to see how the old place was doing.”

She gestured to the Winchester brothers in turn. The woman looked at the boys suspiciously but calmed when she figured that Mercy was the one in charge. Mercy thought that maybe she had had some bad experiences when it came to men.

She just hoped Dean didn’t decide to hit on her. Judging by the woman’s tan line on her ring finger she really didn’t need any romantic attention at the moment.

Recognition flashed in her eyes and she looked the three of them up and down like she was seeing them in a new light.

“Winchester, it’s so funny. You know, I think I found some of your old photos the other night. Oh, the name’s Jenny, by the way.”

“You did?” Dean asked. A spark of hope bloomed in her chest, maybe she could show the boys some more pieces of their past. Get to know their mum better.

“Come on in.”

Mercy found herself tensing up as they made their way to the familiar kitchen. A firm hand on her shoulder let her know that Dean wasn’t feeling well either.

The sight of a small boy jumping in a play pen chanting “Juice” distracted her from the oppressive feeling the house was giving her.

“That’s Ritchie; he’s kind of a juice junkie. But hey, at least he won’t get scurvy!”

Mercy made a funny face at the kid, drawing a loud giggle from him. She missed the times when Sam and Dean were that innocent and cute.

Jenny moved to stand behind the older sister and introduced her to them.

“Sairie, this is Sam, Dean and Mercy. They used to live here.”

The Winchesters said hello in their usual awkward fashion.

“So, you just moved in?” Dean started the conversation.

“Yeah, we moved from Wichita.”

“You got family here, or….?”

 Mercy slapped her brother in the stomach. He may be charming but the boy doesn’t know the meaning of tact or subtlety. Said boy elbowed her back, hard.

The two glared at each other and Sam decided to change the subject. You could just tell from the look on his face that he was embarrassed to be related to his childish older siblings.

“So, how do you like the house so far?”

“Well, all due respect to your childhood home. I mean, you guys probably have lots of happy memories here. But it does have its issues.”

She had no idea. Mercy felt a pang of hurt deep in her chest for all those happy memories which were now tainted with the pain of losing Mary.

“What do you mean?” Mercy asked.

“It’s just getting old, you know? The faulty wiring, we get flickering lights almost hourly. The sinks backed up, and there are rats in the basement.” A second passed when she realised what she was saying, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to complain.”

“Nah, don’t worry, it is fine. Have you seen any of the rats?”

“No, just heard the scratching actually.”

There was definitely something in the house. All these were signs of some form of creature residing inside, usually not very good ones at that.

 “Mum.” Sairie called. “Ask them if it was here when they lived here.” She whispered.

 “What, Sairie?” Sam pushed. Mercy felt the urge to hit him in the stomach as well. Couldn’t he see the girl was terrified of strangers?

“The thing in my closet,”

Sam and Dean instantly checked to see if Mercy reacted negatively, ready to calm her down if she began having another panic attack.

To their surprise she stayed calm and looked at the young girl curiously.

“I’m sorry. The move has been very stressful on her and she’s been getting nightmares.”

“I wasn’t dreaming! It came into my bedroom. And it was on fire!”

Jenny apologised again. Mercy just smiled kindly, she knew how stressful kids could be.

“Don’t worry. It’s healthy for kids to have a monster in their rooms. It helps develop their imagination and teaches them to overcome their fears. I remember Dean was terrified of the werewolf in the kitchen at night. Even Sam was scared of the monster under the bed.”

The two women laughed at the indignant squawks that came from the men in the room.

“Well thanks for everything. We’ll be getting out of your hair now.”

* * *

 

The door slammed behind them just as Sam started with his wild gestures and loud voice.

“Did you hear that?!” Sam practically yelled down her ear. “A figure on fire,”

“And that woman, Jenny, she was the woman in your dreams?” Dean yelled down her other ear.

“Yes! The scratching in the walls, lights flickering? Those are both signs of a malevolent spirit!”

“Yeah well I’m just freaked out your weirdo visions are coming true.”

“Well forget about that! That thing in the house, do you think it’s the thing that killed Mum and Jessica?”

Mercy stopped them from going any further by grabbing them each by their jackets. She made them turn around and stared them in the eyes.

“I know how much you want this to be the yellow eyes. But think about this logically. We don’t know what it is; we don’t know why it’s here. So we need to do this like any other case or we’re calling another hunter to take care of it.”

The brothers’ faces turned determined.

“We need to get that family out of that house.” Sam’s voice deepened.

“And we will.” Replied Dean, his voice equally as steely,

Mercy nodded in approval. This wasn’t a case they could let their emotions control, so they needed to do this professionally. No matter how scared she really was.

-

The discussion continued as Dean filled the car with Gas.

“Right, normally we’d figure out what we’re up against. Look into the history of the house.”

“Exactly,” Dean continued, “except we already know what happened.”

“How much do we know? I mean, how much do you guys actually remember?”

They knew it was coming. It was a case and they were the witnesses, Sam didn’t remember what happened so he needed to know.

Dean spoke first. His voice was calm and stable, but they could tell he was upset thinking about the night by his still posture. When he was happy or calm he would never stop moving, when he’s sad or irritated he stays almost unnaturally still.

“Not much. I do remember the fire, the heat, and running with you guys. I fell over. I can’t remember how I got out.”

It made sense, Mercy thought. He was only four, it’s a surprise he could remember that much.

“I remember it all.” Mercy said when the two looked at her expectantly.

The shocked looks were expected. She was young when it happened, but it wasn’t the kind of thing you’d forget.

“I woke up to Mum screaming. Not that I thought she did, I just thought it was a dream or something. But I got scared and went to check on you Sam. You were shockingly calming for such a fussy baby.” She teased, easing the pressure of the atmosphere in the room.

“Dad came running in late, and we saw Mum on the ceiling. I ran out with you,” She nodded towards Sam, “and went to find Dean. You were right when you said you fell over.” She ruffled his short hair, “Scared the hell out of me. You couldn’t even run anymore because you managed to cut your knees. So I carried the two of you out straight into a fireman’s arms.”

“You _carried_ the both of us?! But you were eight years old! You shouldn’t have been physically able to carry that much weight!” Sam asked.

Mercy couldn’t hold in her bitter snort.

“I collapsed as soon as we were clear of the house. Took months before my muscles worked properly again.”

“Did Dad see what did it? I mean, we know it had yellow eyes.” Dean asked.

“No, that was me. I saw whatever it was leave before Dad came in. Those sick yellow eyes followed me everywhere after that.”

“And Dad never had a theory on what it could be?”

Dean and Mercy made eye contact. Both of them knowing, that even if he did have a theory. he would’ve kept it to himself.

* * *

 

“We should go see Dad’s old co-workers. See what he said to them after the fire.”

Mercy almost felt insulted. Here she was, a fountain of knowledge of what happened, and they wanted to go see old Mike.

“Or, my stupid younger brothers, you could listen to me and go see Missouri.”

The two of them turned around to stare at her in the back of the Impala, the looks of confusion and insulted made Mercy want to laugh out loud.

“Who’s Missouri?” Dean questioned.

“She’s the psychic that told Dad the truth of what’s out there. You loved it when we were there, couldn’t stop laughing.”

Mercy thought back to the time where Missouri helped her family. It was such a bright part of a dark time. She would be forever grateful to the woman for putting them back together.


	12. The House Of Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. This chapter might not be as good as the others just due to the fact that it started to feel like it was dragging. But hey, I wrote it and the next one should be at least a bit better.  
> Any comments would be appreciated and I hope you enjoy!

The waiting room hadn’t changed a bit over the twenty years. Sure it seemed smaller, but she was bigger than the last time they were here. She was sure she was scaring her brothers with how happy she was acting. It wasn’t like she could help it, Missouri used to always make her laugh, and she knew the older woman still had her sense of humour.

Speak of the psychic and she shall appear, with a balding older man.

“All right, there. Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing. Your wife is crazy about you.” The woman led the man outside and shut the door right behind him with a sad shake of the head. “Whew, Poor bastard, his woman is cold-bangin’ the gardener.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Dean asked, gaining an elbow to the ribs from Mercy and a roll of the eyes from the psychic.”

“People don’t come here for the truth. They come for good news.” She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “Well? Sam, Dean and Mercy, come on already, I ain’t got all day.”

The three were quick to follow the woman into the next room.

“Well, lemme look at ya. Oh, you boys grew up handsome. And you were one goofy-lookin’ kid, too.” Missouri directed to a disgruntled Dean before turning to give Mercy the mother of all hugs.

“My goodness, you grew up so beautifully! Look at you!”

“Missouri, my god, I am so happy to see you again! You still look like a queen.” Mercy squeezed Missouri back.

“You flatter me too much.” It was Sam’s turn to be put in the spot light. But instead of the happy greetings the other two got, Missouri grew sombre and gripped the tall boy’s hand. “Sam. Oh, honey... I’m sorry about your girlfriend. And your father –- he’s missin’?”

 **“** How’d you know all that?” Sam looked like he very much wanted to snatch his hand from Missouri, but his curiosity over powered the need.

“You were just thinkin’ it just now.”

“Well where is he? Is he okay?” Dean pushed. Worry marring his face.

Missouri furrowed her eyebrows. Much like she was trying to find their Dad via telepathy or something.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? You’re supposed to be a psychic right?!” This time Mercy elbowed him deep in the stomach and Missouri gave him a “Are you stupid?” look.

“Boy. you see me sawin’ some bony tramp in half? You think I’mma magician? I may be able to read thoughts and sense energy’s but I can’t just pull fact’s outta thin air!”

Dean looked suitably chastised and Mercy couldn’t help but look at Missouri in awe. Dean was hard to handle most days and Missouri sorted him out within seconds.

“Sam, stop laughin’ at your brother.” Mercy scolded. The slight twang slipping back in her accent, it seemed Kansas never really left her.

“Sit, please.” Missouri sat on the chair opposite to the sofa she had indicated.

Mercy noted that there was no way all three of them were fitting on the tiny piece of furniture, especially with Sam’s giant body. So she instead went to lean against the window sill.

“Boy, you put a foot on my coffee table; I’ll whack you with a spoon.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Dean complained.

“Well you were thinkin’ about it.” It was all he got in response.

That was the thing Mercy loved about Missouri, her quick wit and no nonsense attitude.

“You better be on your best behaviour boys. I’ve seen Missouri rip Dad a new one so deep he sulked in silence for days.” Mercy knew her saying that would make the boys look at Missouri in awe.

The only other person who had managed to beat Dad in an argument was Mercy, and that was just because the man had been drinking quite heavily that night.

The three of them discussed what had happened that night all those years ago, whilst Mercy just watched the world outside.

She may have seemed in a good mood, but that town had been grating on her nerves ever since they got there. She knew it was thanks to Sam and Dean that she hadn’t fallen into that familiar pit of despair.

That was another thing that pissed her off. She hated feeling weak. It wasn’t right; she had gone through far worse things in her life than visiting her old home. Yet here she was fighting back the tears of frustration.

She had to keep it together. She had to build her walls again, because something like that could end up killing her on a hunt. She didn’t need something like that.

“I don’t know, but oh, it was evil. Ask your sister, she knows it better than me.”

All eyes turned to her.

“Even I could feel its evil aura. Eight years old and the psychic ability of a brick, yet I still managed to sense it. I already told you about the yellow eyes.”

Mercy kept her eyes glued on the street outside.

“But there’s somethin’ you haven’t told us, isn’t there.” Missouri forced.

Mercy knew this wasn’t a battle she could win. The trauma of watching your mother burn to death was something that stopped you from doing many things for decades. Telling her family exactly what she saw was one of them.

Describing it, talking about it, it just made it so real. Like if you don’t think about it, it would just go away, it would no longer exist.

“There’s not much more to say. I saw its silhouette, a man stood over Sammy’s cot. He smiled at me and just disappeared.”

She turned to glare at the three people at the coffee table.

“I don’t understand why you all think I’m such an expert on what killed our mum. I saw him for a split second and he was gone, nothing more and nothing less.”

And that was it.

* * *

 

A few hours later found them inside Sam’s old nursery.

Flashes of fire and screaming burst into her head as she entered the room. Logically Mercy knew that it looked completely different from when Sam used it, but her mind wouldn’t let her rest.

“This is where it all happened.”

Mercy and Dean fidgeted with unease. They both felt their fight or flight instincts rear up in response to the memory of the danger.

Of course their old house managed to attract a nasty poltergeist and whatever the hell the other spirit was.

In Mercy’s opinion, they didn’t get out fast enough.

* * *

 

Hours later the four of them once again found themselves inside the old Winchester household, only this time armed with bags of magical herbs.

Putting them in the walls was an eventful affair to say the least. Mercy only just managed to dodge the knife aimed at her head and Sam almost got strangled to death by a lamp.

Safe to say Mercy was pissed at the poltergeist for hurting her brother, and she felt a strange sense of smug glee when she punched a hole in that wall and shoved in the bag.

She was not losing another family member in that house, thank you very much.

* * *

 

Mercy was getting sick and tired of coming back to this place. Yes she trusted Sam’s instincts, but couldn’t she have one good thing happen?

She was lying in the back of the Impala. She was going to declare it her room; she spent enough time in it. Her brothers were arguing again and Mercy did not have the energy to tell them to shut up so she just blocked them out.

It was getting to the point where she didn’t care that that house was her childhood home. That it was the origin of all the bad things that happened in her life. It was becoming a very repetitive and irritating case that had no emotional meaning to her at all.

It was strangely refreshing in an exhausting way.

So when she went running into the house with her brothers the flashbacks didn’t even try to bother her.

“Dean, get Jenny. Sam, get the boy. I’ve got the little girl!”

It wasn’t until she saw the fiery figure that she realised how much of an idiot she had been.

Poltergeists don’t have visible forms, and only one person had ever died due to a fire in that house.

“Sorry Mum,” she told the ghost and grabbed the girl. She ran through the house, the exact path she had taken all those years ago. Only this time she knew she was going to save the child in her arms.

They were only a few steps away from the front door when Mercy felt something grab her leg. She quickly put down her burden and told her to run before she was dragged away.

* * *

 

As with any job, there are pros and cons of hunting the supernatural. A pro would be saving lives. A con would be the lack of stability.

Mercy was experiencing one of the worse cons, being thrown across the kitchen like some sort of rag doll, only bigger and more breakable.

It wasn’t fun. It was also extremely painful and Mercy was sure she had broken a rib when the thing had thrown her onto the granite surface.

It was sad that things like that happened on almost every hunt, they always went for her first because she was female and smaller. Therefore she’s somehow a lesser threat than her giant brothers.

Yeah. No.

Mercy didn’t go through a lifetime of rigorous training in different martial arts (thank God for sports clubs) and gun techniques (her Dad, who else?) just to let herself be protected by her brothers.

But unfortunately, you can’t physically fight a being of malevolent intent. No matter how hard you try.

So being tossed around the room was the only way to go. She just hoped the thing would get bored at some point because her body was killing.

She almost sighed in relief when the thing pinned her against the wall. Still in a life threatening position but it hurt less.

Mercy was sure her end was near. More fear dripped in her gut the longer Sam and Dean were trying to break the door down. It was like the house had something against female Winchesters.

Mercy was slammed into the wall again and her airway cut off. She gasped for air, desperate to live. But her body couldn’t move.

Her vision slowly started to fuzz and dim. She struggled even harder, hoping to distract the damn thing from cutting off her oxygen supply. But to no avail, in fact all it was doing was making her body ache so much more.

She knew the second her brothers managed to break into the kitchen as the pressure around her neck disappeared.

“It took you two long enough!” She snarled at them through the hacking and gasping.

“Sam!” Dean yelled and the two pointed the shotguns at the flaming figure that had appeared.

“Don’t shoot!” Sam and Mercy yelled in synch, both knowing who was walking towards them.

“I can see who it is now.” It was like a switch had been flipped when Sam said that. The flames died down to show the woman who had brought all three of them into the world.

“Mum?” Dean called out hopefully.

The ghost of their mother smiled sadly at each of them. Tears streamed down Mercy’s face, Mary looked exactly like she had all those years ago, so full of life even in death.

“Mum, I missed you so much. I love you.” Mercy sobbed, her chest aching so deeply.

“Baby, my little devil, I love you so much.” Her mum spoke with a wide sad smile before turning to Dean. “Dean, my baby boy,”

She turned to Sam last, her soft smile turning grim in an apologetic expression. “Sammy, I’m so sorry.”

The three living Winchesters stared at their mother, unable to speak through the lumps in their throats. The blonde Winchester turned away from her children.

“You, get out of my house! And let go of my daughter!” it happened faster than they could see, the ghost of their mum burst to flames, freeing the house of any leftover spirits.

As Mercy dropped to the floor, she wiped the tears from her face and steeled her expression.

“Goodbye Mum and thank you.”

Thank you for giving me the closure I needed, she thought.

That night a giant weight that had been dragging Mercy down for two decades was lifted. For the first time since the night of the fire she was free of guilt.


	13. A Simple Family With Simple Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No family is sun's and roses the whole time. Why should the Winchester's be any different?

Mercy was stood in the hallway of Missouri Mosley’s home; the two boys’ already waiting for her in the Impala outside. She knew they were treading on eggshells around her. She wasn’t surprised in the slightest. She had never broken down in front of them before, but the second the yellow eyed thing came up she had crashed. Hard,

She guessed it freaked them out more than they were willing to show. It was simply the Winchester way; bury your feelings until they disappeared. Not that it worked, but it was better than letting them consume you.

“You alright honey?” Missouri asked sweetly. She already knew what was going on in the girl’s head. She was obviously happy that after all these years of self-loathing, she finally forgiven herself for leaving her mother behind that night.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” The dark haired Winchester hugged the psychic tight in a goodbye. “I just need to have a word with my dad.”

The eldest Winchester child walked away from the shocked Missouri. She found her dad sat on the sofa Sam and Dean had been on the day before. The man looked old, haggard. He obviously hadn’t shaved in a long time and his posture looked almost defeated.

“You’re an idiot.” It was the first thing she said to him, in a familiar teasing tone. Like how she called Dean dense or Sam a giant.

“How did you know I was here?” John rubbed his face and sat up straight to look directly at his daughter. She looked good. Happy and proud, if not a little tired.

Mercy shifted to lean against the door frame, her trusty bag thumping against the door.

“I know you Dad, and I know Dean. Dean called you and you wanted to make sure it wasn’t the yellow eyed bastard.”

He looked at her with a proud smile. He stood and gave her a sturdy hug, the one specially reserved for her because she was his determined little devil. Also Mercy knew her brothers wouldn’t let their dad hug them anymore, some sort of macho pride or whatever, but she found something comforting in the smell of old leather and oil.

She was a daddy’s girl, so what? Thirty year olds were still allowed to take comfort in their parents.

“I better make sure Sam and Dean haven’t managed to kill each other whilst waiting for me,” She stated as she moved away from the embrace, “You better give them some sort of contact, we were going crazy wondering if you were even alive.”

Her dad placed a hand on her shoulder, a silent goodbye.

“You look after your brothers Mercy. I’ll contact you all when it’s time.”

And with that the three siblings were alone together once more.

It was months before they saw him again.

* * *

 

“Dean, you need to listen to our brother! Going in half assed was stupid and reckless and was almost barely any to help those girls! We got them out of pure chance, not skill! And Sam, stop talking to Dean like that! We all know we fucked up, but pinning it all on Dean isn’t fair!”

Mercy was frazzled. The hunt hadn’t gone how they expected and they almost lost the girls the shapeshifter had kidnapped. They were all covered in bruises and scratches, and Mercy had somehow managed to scrape her face along the concrete.

It had been a difficult hunt, stressful too. They weren’t sure what was taking the girls or if any of them were still alive. They had only found out about the shifter when it had targeted Mercy, a mistake it soon came to regret as she had been wearing a silver ring on the hand it had shaken.

Cue lots of running around and being thrown into thing.

With tensions high, it was a miracle that they had managed to get back to the Millwards motel before an argument broke out.

“You stay out of this Mercy! It’s because of you that we ended up on that goose chase!” Sam yelled, walking closer to his older sister, his height and muscles’ intimidating her more than Mercy was willing to admit.

“Whoa, dude. Calm it!” Dean forced himself between the two, trying to ease the tension. “Let’s just think about what you’re saying!”

He was unfortunately unsuccessful and Sam pushed Dean out of the way to continue his verbal attack on the eldest Winchester.

“No, I have had it! Mercy, you keep butting into discussions that have nothing to do with you! You always tell us what to do and never let us choose! You can’t even let Dean go out without telling you! I have had it with you acting just like Dad! We’re not children, and you have no right to treat us like we are!”

Mercy clenched her fists, her nails digging into the calloused flesh of her hand. She stood tall and showed him that she wasn’t going to back down. Not from him or anything he says.

“I know full well how old you boys are! I don’t treat you like children because I know you have grown up! But maybe I was wrong, judging by this hissy fit, you obviously haven’t grown in any way other than in height!”

The youngest Winchester growled in response, his eyes flashing in anger. He looked like a dog that was at the end of his leash.

Mercy didn’t look any better. Her hair was a mess, and the blood smeared on her face only increased the look of danger.

“There you go calling us boys again! Why can’t you get it?! Stop acting like a bitch! We’re not your children and you’re not our mother!”

The room was suddenly silent. The last words echoed in each of their minds as they processed what had just been said. Even Sam looked vaguely shocked that he had let that thought slip.

Mercy stared wide eyed at Sam in cold dread. She was just trying to keep her brothers safe like she had promised. She was just trying to be a good big sister.

“I wasn’t trying to be.” Her voice was quiet, but there was an edge of harshness to the brittle words. “I’m not here to be Mum’s replacement. I could never fill those boots. But I have done my, damnest to raise you the best way I could!” Her voice creeping louder and louder as each word was spat out. “Do you think it was easy?! Do you think I wanted to be responsible for two little kids when I was eight years old?!”

It was Sam’s turn to start shrinking in shame. But she wouldn’t let him escape. He started it, so he was going to suffer the consequences.

“You have no idea the crap I had to go through to keep you healthy and happy! What? Where did you think THE FUCKING MONEY CAME FROM?! I WORKED HARD FOR YOU AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN!”

Mercy didn’t let either of the shocked brothers have a chance to respond and stormed out of the room to walk off some of the steam.

* * *

 

Mercy had somehow found herself in a bar. It looked old and had some history. Not that Mercy cared about much beyond getting shitfaced at the time.

The guy on the other side of the counter was cute. He was the dark and lanky type with hidden muscle underneath the tight fitting black clothes. His chocolate skin glistened with sweat from the heat building up in the room. His shaved head making him look so charismatic coupled with the blinding smile.

Mercy couldn’t stop her tongue from making a journey across her lips. Normally she’d already be half way into talking him into leaving his shift early but there was just something about him that got her to just stop and appreciate the physique of the man. Surely he had been hand crafted by God, because no one had an ass that gorgeous due to simple genetics.

“Hey, I’ll have the strongest stuff you’ve got.” Mercy slumped on the counter. Here was a piece of heaven itself, and she couldn’t find the motivation to chat him up all because of that stupid argument with Sam. She knew she shouldn’t have said any of that, and that he didn’t mean any of what he had said.

That didn’t mean it didn’t sting like hell.

She gulped the amber liquid down faster than anyone could say “Fuck you Sam.” The burn of the drink scorching down her throat, soothing the residual anger, and turning her towards the mopey phase of the after fight,

“What’s got a pretty lady like you so down?” Mercy looked up from her drink to see the sexy bartender, the Louisiana accent melting her where she sat.

Like a well-worn coat, the infamous Winchester smirk slipped onto her face. Stuff Sam, she was going to get rid of some stress and was going to have fun doing it.

“That obvious is it?” Play the innocent girl, guys like someone who got them talking. Who doesn’t enjoy talking about themselves?

“Let’s just say, if you glare any harder there will be dents in the surface.” Cue the small giggle. The smile she got in return gave her all she needed to know that she wasn’t going to be arriving back at the motel until at least the next morning.

“Caught your boyfriend cheating or something?” He continued. Hot and caring, she loved getting lucky. A bit blunt, but that added to the appeal.

“Or something,” She smiled, “Tell you what. Give me another glass of this amazing liquor and I’ll tell all about my woes.”

Within seconds her glass was once again filled and she took small sips, savouring the taste. Not many bars had such good whisky.

“So what’s your name?”

“Mercy,”

He raised an eyebrow, but looked more impressed than confused.

“That’s so strange, mines Arrick, it means mercy.”

Let’s just say that was the start of a wonderful night full of perfect stress relief.

* * *

 

“I’m sorry.” Mercy mumbled to her youngest brother. “I said some things that I didn’t mean.”

She carefully kept her face and body language blank, sizing up Sam’s reaction to her apology.

It was the day after the argument, nearing three and the two men were still moping in the motel room. Mercy had come to see the error of her ways after a great talk with Arrick over the best cooked breakfast Mercy could remember ever having.

The tallest Winchester just walked up to his elder sister and gave her a giant bear hug. The warmth radiating off him made Mercy want to cling to him forever. It reminded her of their father’s hugs, sweet, comforting, and full of emotion.

“Oh c’mon, enough with the chick flick moment!”

The two of them turned to glare at the middle child, who was looking far too smug. A few moments pass before none of them can keep it up. The room is filled with joyful laughter bringing a type of light to the room that lifted their spirits.

“Come here Dean!” Mercy beckoned him closer. As soon as he was close enough, she dragged him into the embrace, sharing the rare occurrence. She knew it wasn’t going to last, and that their pride wouldn’t allow them to ever talk about these heart-warming moments.

There was something so sad about them growing up. They lose the innocence and ease that came with physical contact and it turns into something looked down upon.

She wished for the times when she could keep a hand on them and it wouldn’t be seen as gross or misinterpreted by society.

She wished for the times when her brothers could say “I love you” like it was as easy as breathing. That she could say the same back without being mocked for a weakness that didn’t exist.

Every now and again, she wished they could be children again, without a care in the world.


	14. Sibling Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fun and a bit of sadness. It's time we learned the truth behind "Old habits never die".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Time for a confession. I'm probably going to be able to post around two more chapters before I'm going to take a break for up and coming exams. 16 exams to be exact. Anyway, just wanted you all to be prepared for the wait but I'm so happy so many of you decided to keep with the story! ^3^

Mercy couldn’t stop the unattractive snort from forcing its way into the world. She just barely stopped herself from spraying the alcohol she was about to swallow. Not that she knew what kind of alcohol I was, but honestly, who cared?

Okay, yes. She was completely hammered. But it was the good kind of drunk. The one where you go from happy sober to hilarious drunk, she blamed Dean really. He was the one who convinced them to have a family night out at the local bar.

But she had to admit that it hadn’t been all that much difficult for him to convince her. Sam was the one that took some convincing. Mr, Killing Your Liver Is Stupid I Have Better Things to Do, finally agreed after hours of childish pestering from both his elder siblings. She was so glad she had, she had never seen Sam drunk before that night, and he had to be the funniest drunk in the world.

 She and Dean had somehow managed to get everyone in the bar singing Bohemian Rhapsody, which in turn got Sam to start to sing. He was laughably terrible, worse than her and Dean’s drunk singing. That had to tell you something. He was late for every line and was so far from being in tune that he sounded like a howling dog with a sore throat. Don’t ask how she knew what that sounded like.

So far she had managed to snog five decent looking men (though that could’ve been the alcohol) and got very close and personal with three women. She was fairly sure she had also downed a few drinks that weren’t hers and were damn strong.

So far she was, loving their family night out.

Not only was it a good activity to get Sam to loosen up, but it let Dean and her to get some much needed sibling bonding. They scammed people out of their money and tried to beat each other at every game that was available in said bar. She was not above sulking when he beat her in everything but darts and ‘Who can get the most numbers?’

At that moment in time, the two were stood on the bar belting out the last few lines of Back in Black. Holding onto each other’s shoulders with a glass/bottle of something, giant grins splitting their faces in pure fun and joy. The other inhabitants of the bar raised a glass and laughed right along with the out of tune duo.

They were all far too drunk and having way too much fun, but that had been the plan. Mercy couldn’t help but feel almost complete stood there, messing around with her brother.

“Hey, Merce, I just had the greatest idea?!” Dean slurred over the music, “How ‘bout we play Winchester roulette?!”

Mercy pulled the man’s head down to level with a cheeky laugh.

“You, my brother, are a genius!”

Technically it wasn’t actually called Winchester Roulette, but they had done it that often that they changed the name just for them; along with a few rules.

The rules were simple; the bartender would make a large selection of different drinks with varying percentages of alcohol and a few of milk or water. The two Winchester’s choose a stranger each and have them pick numbers. Each number had a corresponding drink and Mercy and Dean have to drink the number their chosen person picked. Whoever collapsed first loses. Simple really, apart from the fact that the two were tied at that point and the competiveness was a recurring trait in the family.

It was going to be so much fun.

“Six!”

“Three!”

“Twenty!”

“Five!”

“Eight!”

“Sixteen!”

“One,”

It went on and on, a drink going down the hatch as each number was called. Sometimes they got lucky and only had to drink water, other times they had some of the foulest whisky ever created.

Mercy had lost count on how many she had managed to swallow, but she knew they were both reaching their limits. Her head was swimming and her body was uncoordinated, it was only due to sheer will and determination that she was still on her feet.

Silence filled the bar as only two drinks were left, number eleven and number two. The two Winchester’s grabbed the drink called by their chosen in sync and stared at each other. It was almost like an old western standoff, just waiting for the right second to move.

Without a single prompt, the siblings chugged the contents of the glasses and slammed them back onto the counter. They continued to stare at each other, daring the other to give up.

Moments passed by and they started to seriously wobble. Mercy could no longer see anything but blurry colours and she felt like her insides were trying to escape via her mouth.

The audience stared in awe as the two created a legend that would continue to be told in that bar for years to come.

The sound of the clock echoed throughout the room.

Tic,

Tic,

Tic,

Tic,

Tic,

Tic,

Toc!

Their eyes rolled back into their heads and they dropped, both unable to hold onto conscience for any longer.

Cheers filled the room in celebration of the creation of the greatest legend.

A week later the trio went hunting for a Rawhead, and Dean ended up in the hospital.

* * *

 

Mercy managed to hold back the tears of joy as she held onto her now healed brother close. The poor middle child looked so confused and dazed but hugged his siblings back.

The people in the tent clapped and cheered for the miracle that had been performed before them. Mercy didn’t like it, she didn’t believe in faith healers. They were always either fakes or had some sort of other agenda.

As glad as she was for the Reverend to heal her brother, she knew something was up. Dean looked like he was scared of something as he was being healed. No one else could see it, but she knew her brother saw something that could uncover something dark about the whole set up.

* * *

 

“I felt that you have some sort of unfinished business, something far bigger than any of us.”

Dean stared at Roy in shock and confusion. Mercy was stood behind her younger brother, equally surprised. Roy was definitely not a psychic. He didn’t have the knowledge that psychics did, so they didn’t know how he could’ve known that the Winchester’s were planning on killing yellow eyes.

They got out of there as fast as possible after that.

Only to bump into the girl Dean had ‘Fallen for’ in the tent before he had been healed. Mercy was instantly on edge with the mother’s angry expression.

“You didn’t deserve to be healed. My Layla has attended every single one of these healings. She should have been the one to be healed, not a non-believer like you!”

The young woman tried to quiet her mother but Dean already had the guilty look on his face. Mercy really wished he didn’t have such a self-loathing outlook on life, he always believes that others have more of a right to live than him and it pissed her off.

“Listen lady, it was Roy who chose who to heal. Dean didn’t do anything to deserve this sort of crap. I understand you want to save your daughter’s life but pushing your frustrations on us isn’t going to help anyone.” She all but snarled.

Mercy almost laughed out loud at the strangeness of the woman’s response. She honest to god humphed at the siblings, the way comedies portrayed snobby rich people with.

“And who are you, his little girlfriend? I wasn’t aware he couldn’t stand up for himself!”

Mercy and Dean glanced at each other before gagging dramatically. It wasn’t the first time someone had mistaken them for a couple, but it was always such a gross thing to think about and it weirded the hell out of them.

“She’s my older sister.”

With that single sentence, the woman went bright red and hurried on as fast as she could. Layla shot the two an apologetic look as she passed them and followed her mother.

Dean and Mercy looked at each other and burst into chuckles. It was always fun to put people in their place. Sure, they were sympathetic to her situation, but it didn’t mean that she could be cruel to everyone.

* * *

 

“You would’ve thought he’d at least thank us.” Mercy called from her place in the Impala. For once she was sat like a normal person, except she had deemed 3:00am the perfect time to clean her guns and sharpen her knives.

“It was a reaper, no one expected him to be grateful.” Sam replied without opening his eyes, sleep was eluding him but he was determined to get some form of rest.

Mercy simply hummed in response as she looked over her iron knife with a critical eye. There was a deep scratch just along the sharp edge that wouldn’t go away no matter what she did. She might have to switch it out for Sam or Dean’s, let them deal with the irritating scratch.

Nah, she already managed to start a fight between them when she did that with the cracked rosary. Holy water was harder to make with a faulty rosary or no rosary.  It wasn’t like Dean ever actually made said water holy, but wasn’t it just her luck that he noticed that one time and blamed it on Sam.

To be honest, she was just glad that it hadn’t escalated into a prank war. She could never think up good pranks and always ended right in the war path and ended up even worse than the intended target.

A few more hours passed and the boys switched out so that Dean could get some shut eye. He was quickly lulled into sleep with the familiar rumbling of the engine.

“Mercy, I’m going to ask you something and I need you to answer it properly. None of that normal deflecting bull you pull.”

Mercy stared at the back of Sam’s head in confusion. Sure, he was the most emotional of the three of them, but she never consciously avoided questions. She guessed he knew her better than she knew herself, which was kind of creepy.

“Go ahead.”

“Did Dad hit you when we were kids?” The silence was deafening. Even Dean’s snores were quiet under the tense and shocked atmosphere.

It was almost becoming a routine. The two of them managing to ask something that shocks her, and makes things increasingly awkward, it had never happened before Sam had gone to Stanford.

“Why would you ask that?"

Sam didn’t answer and just continued driving. A few moments passed torturously slow before she sigh and answered his question.

“No. Dad would never do something like that to any of us.”

“Then what were you talking about when Dad hit you?!” Sam snapped his; body tense and ridged.

“Sam, what the hell are you on about?!”

“Dean told me about the fight you two had after I left.” He said softly. Realisation settled into her bones like a wave of ice cold water.

There were some things the boys didn’t need to know about their father. Dean held to much respect for him to have it broken from a few mistakes and Sam would just let his opinion of John Winchester go further down.

“What did you mean by “old habits never die”?”

“Sam, you need to believe me when I say you do not want to know.” Sam’s eyes widened in fear,

He had never heard his sister’s voice to harsh and cold. He bet that if he had looked in the rear view mirror he would have seen a dark expression on Mercy’s face. A chill sped down his spine, as the atmosphere became suffocating.

“But I know you. You won’t let up. As much as you hate it, you’re just like Dad.” She took another deep breath. “He never hit me. He could never hurt any of us. But after Mum died, he became very violent. Anything could set him off and he’d be forced to take us and run or spend the night in a police cell. He almost killed a teenager in front of me, it's the scariest thing I have ever seen. That's what I was talking about. One bad word against him or Mum and there isn't much of a chance of getting out alive.”


	15. Here Comes Another One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I am not satisfied with this chapter. But I've gone over it so many times its just getting on my nerves. Hopefully the next chapter makes up for this.

“We’re going to Windom, Minnesota.” Mercy stated as she burst into the room and started frantically packing away the few belongings they had in the motel room.

Sam and Dean shared a look and looked between each other and their agitated sister. A war of wills sparked between them as they tried to get the other to step into the range of fire. It took a few seconds of Sam’s puppy-dog face before Dean mentally cursed himself and plucked up the courage.

“Is there a hunt there? Or did Dad call?”

“I’ll tell you when we get there. But I swear to god the next time I see that good-for-nothing father of ours I’m going to sock him right in the jaw.”

Mercy shoved the last of Sam’s stuff into his duffel, no doubt he was going to bitch at her later for it, and shot out the door with her brothers hot on her tail.

Without giving them a second to complain, she through the bags into the trunk and rushed into the driver’s seat. This was a silent warning to the boys that this was urgent and they needed to shut up and listen to her without complaint.

She rarely even sat in the front of the car, never mind driving it. See, Mercy had what some would call road rage, although the Winchester’s thought that it didn’t really encompass exactly how bad she was. She found driving tedious and snapped at anyone and everyone else on the road whilst progressively getting more and more distracted from driving. Her driving was terrifying and had no respect for the Impala which pushed John and Dean to forbid her from ever driving again.

Not that she was complaining; concentrating on the road made her head hurt.

“Are you going to tell us why we’re heading to Windom, of all places?” Dean spoke up from the passenger seat. It was the first sound to be heard in the car since they had started the journey over an hour before.

Mercy had calmed down a while ago, but they really didn’t want to tempt fate. They hadn’t seen her that panicked since Sam ran away all those years ago.

“I’ve already said I’ll tell you when we get there.”

And that was that.

* * *

 

“Hi, sorry for disturbing you, you wouldn’t happen to know a Kate and Adam Milligan?” Mercy asked the woman who had answered the door.

Sam and Dean frowned in confusion at the names from behind their sister on the front porch. They didn’t understand why Mercy had dragged them this random house on a fairly nice street. It looked like a happy normal home, which confused the boys. Why would they be there unless there was a job or they were meeting a fellow Hunter?

“I’m Kate, um, can I help you three?”

Mercy gave a small smile to cover the grimace, “Do you know a John Winchester?”

“Yes, but he hasn’t been here in months. What’s it to you?” Kate crossed her arms, a classic sign of unease in the presence of a threat.

“I know your relationship with him, or rather the lack of it. And I know the connection between Adam and John.” Mercy twitched her hands in a “shoo” gesture, too small for the woman to see. It was a subtle message to the brothers to back up and not to get involved no matter what happened next.

“How do you know all this? Who are you?” Kate’s voice took on a slightly higher pitch, scared of the group of strangers that seemed to know almost too much.

“My name is Mercy Winchester, John Winchester’s daughter, and this is Sam and Dean, my younger brothers.”

The woman gasped and brought her hands to her face to cover her mouth. She looked between the three of them, trying to spot the parts of John Winchester they had each inherited.

“My god, what, um, um, just give me a minute?” She took a few deep breaths to sort through her thoughts, calming down. “I’m guessing you’re here to see Adam?”

“Only if that’s okay with you, I know this is a bit of a shock, I didn’t even know about all of this until this morning and I still haven’t told these two. I thought it would be best for us all to meet before secrets come to light.”

Having enough, Sam grabbed his sister by the shoulder and squeezed hard.

“What secret? Mercy, what are  know this is a bit of a shock, I didn’t even know about all of this until this morning and I still haven’t told these two. I thought it would be best for us all to meet before secrets come to light.”

Having enough, Sam grabbed his sister by the shoulder and squeezed hard.

“What secret? Mercy, what are you keeping from us?!” He growled. Dean simply nodded in support, equally pissed but holding it back better than the youngest.

“After we talk to Adam,” She simply dismissed.

Dean shook his head sharply, “No, you will tell us what the hell is going on, now!”

Mercy had to take a step back from her brothers; the expressions on both of their faces were enough to make her wince. She had been so wrapped up in her own mind, planning how to sort all of it out in a way that would cause the least violent explosion that she didn’t think about how Sam and Dean would be feeling.

“Would you like to come in and sort this in the warm?” Kate interrupted, looking vaguely uncomfortable.

Transferring the conversation to the living room did nothing to relieve the tension rolling off the Winchesters, but it did give them a comfy place to sit.

Mercy nodded in thanks as she took the glass of water from their host. It was uncomfortable enough without her thinking they were a threat to her son, she did not want this to go downhill.

“Where’s Adam now?” She inquired, hoping that he wouldn’t have to be there for the blow out.

“Um, he’s at school at the moment. But he should be home in about an hour.”

“Mercy,” Dean growled out. A threat that if she didn’t get to the point soon, he was going to start throwing punches, Sam didn’t look too far behind him either.

“Adam is Kate’s son and our half-brother.” There, fast and to the point. Like a Band-Aid, but left a longer period of silence of shock.

“What?” Sam stuttered out. The words were hard to force out as he went over the information given to him.

“I found the missing parts of Dad’s journal under the back seats in the Impala. I’m not sure if Dad intended me to find it, but I didn’t think I was fair on any of us to keep it a secret.”

That was when the boys lost all senses of politeness and started shouting.

* * *

 

An hour went by and they had finally blown off the steam.

Surprisingly, or perhaps it wasn’t, it was Kate that had put all three of them in place. Her mild mannerisms were gone to be replaced with the stoic nurse and mother. She scolded each of them in turn and left their faces blushing to the point that none of them could speak; except Dean of course.

“I can see why Dad likes you.”

None of them could fault the woman for giving the proudest tired smile any of them had ever seen with a dusting of red scattered across her face. Though before the conversation could continue, the front door was shut with a slam and the sight of a blonde haired teenager walked into the room.

“Mum, who are they?”

Before Kate could reply Mercy called out, “Adam?”

The confused and scared look from the fifteen year old shocked Mercy out of her reprieve, she had been so caught up in the fact that she had another brother and that he was _right in front of her_ that she hadn’t though what he would think about three random adults somehow knowing his name.

Although she didn’t feel too bad when she noticed that the other two Winchesters hadn’t been able to get themselves out of the same state.

Kate caught onto the awkward atmosphere and gestured for Adam to sit next to her with a smile.

“Hun, there’s something we need to tell you.” A quick glance at Mercy was all it took for Kate to realise that it would probably be best for them to tell him, rather than her.

“Look Adam, this is going to be a bit of a shock, and you’re probably not going to believe us at first. But you need to listen and understand that all of us in the room right now only found out about this this morning. Your mother wasn’t intentionally hiding it from you and we weren’t purposely staying away from you. Do you understand?”

Dean sighed in frustration, “Mercy, he’s not going to understand and stalling like this is just gonna make this harder.”

Sam glared, “Dude, seriously? She’s doing her best, it’s not like you could do better.”

Mercy sighed and rubbed her face in frustration. She could feel the hate and betrayal radiate from Dean and she honestly couldn’t blame him. Their father had kept the fact that they had more family from them and it almost felt like he betrayed their mum as well. He was the one that kept going after the stupid thing that had killed her in her name, yet he went away and had another kid with a woman they didn’t even know existed.

Adam spoke up, “Seriously, will someone tell me what the hell is going on?!”

“You’re our brother. Congratulations you’ve got three older siblings.” Dean snapped out bluntly and stormed his way out the front door.

Sam and Mercy glanced at each other and an understanding was shared. They gave a tired nod and Sam followed his older brother, hoping to calm him down or at least knock some sense into his head. Mercy turned her focus back onto her youngest brother, who looked vaguely sick and was probably still going over the news.

“So your- oh my god- what the hell is my life?” the blonde placed his head in his hands.                        

Mercy felt extremely uncomfortable with the situation. She didn’t really know what to do. Sure, she had been confident that meeting him would’ve been the best idea but now, she hadn’t a clue.

She kept talking to Adam for almost an hour, answering any and all questions he had about them. Soon they became mostly comfortable in each other’s presence and funny stories were shared between the two. Kate managed to slip out of the room without either of them noticing. But the oppressive thoughts on the missing Winchesters were holding the two of them back.

“No way,”

“I swear to you, it’s all true. Sam wouldn’t forgive Dean for weeks after that, apparently Sam thought Dean should’ve known better.”

The chuckles died down after a few seconds.

“Wait, how old are you?”

“I-I’m thirty.”

“Woah, you’re old.” Without even thinking, Mercy grabbed the teen and put him in a head lock on the floor.

“Who are you callin’ old, you runt?” She attacked the poor boys head with her hand and made a complete mess of his hair.

All of a sudden the two of them froze. It had felt so natural to act like that at the time, but now it was just awkward. Neither was sure how they were supposed to proceed from there.

They were snapped from their reprieve when the sound of a camera caught their attention. They twisted impossibly fast to catch a guilty looking Kate try to hide a small camera behind her back. With that the tension in the room drained away and the three occupants couldn’t stop laughing until their sides hurt and faces felt stretched.


	16. We Learn From Our Pasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you accept someone, you accept their past too. They are who they are now because of the crap they survived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an extra long one for you all. A little thank you for all the support I'm getting from you guys.

December 1983.  
Dear diary  
the strange lady with the red glasses told me to write this. She said it was going to help me speak again, I don’t think it will. Talking is really hard; it gets stuck in my neck and won’t come out. But I don’t care, daddy likes the quiet and Sammy makes lots of noise.

Sammy makes the noise me and Dean want to make. Really loud and sad sounds, but that’s cuz he’s getting teeth. The book says he’s old enough to start and how to help him, but we don’t have the things he needs.

This is stupid. I’m not writing in here again.

 

March 1984  
Dear diary  
I said wouldn’t, but she said it was going to help.   
Daddy has started drinking things that make him act weird. Mummy always told him off if daddy had too many of them, he’s now on bottle 12 of the day. He says it helps him, but it makes him angry. He yells a lot and talks funny.

Good news! Sammy ate his first solid food! I made him smushed apples and fed it to him, he really liked it! I think it will be his best food.  
Dean managed to tie his shoes as well! He’s been trying really hard for ages and showed me his feet when he did it first try. It’s the first time I’ve seen him that happy in a while.

I miss mummy.

 

May 1986  
Dear diary  
it’s been 2 years since I last wrote in here. It’s been hard because Dad likes to leave to hunt monsters a lot. I know he’s a hero that is saving lots of lives, but we’re running out of money and the guy at the front desk keeps looking at Dean funny.   
Sam and Dean have been doing well. Sam is in his first year of school ever and is really smart, it doesn’t shock me; he loves it when I read to him.  
Dean has been having trouble at school; he is really smart and could do really well. But I think he is still having a hard time with how we’re living.  
I had to go see the principal when he started a fight because they couldn’t reach Dad. I was told to tell Dad what they told me. They said some pretty nasty things about Dean and I ended up with a detention for yelling at the teachers. It’s good I managed to convince them to make it a lunchtime one. I need to make it to the sale in the grocery store.

Mercy Winchester,

 

June 1986

Dear diary  
Dad wants to teach me how to shoot a gun. We spent the day taking one apart and putting it back together and named every single part of it. It was kind of fun. Dad was really happy and proud of me when I out it together without any help. He reminded me of how he was before the fire, goofy and always laughing when I made him proud.  
Then he got a call from another hunter and went back to the Dad who was always sad, even when he was laughing with Sam and Dean.  
I wish I could make them all happy again, get lots of money and kill all the nasty monsters. But I know enough about them that it’s impossible to get rid of them all. You could only save people and kill any monsters near you.  
Sam and Dean have joined a “dojo” in the area. It costs a lot, but its best they learn how to fight. I already know how to fight thanks to Dad. He wakes me up really early every day and shows me how to disarm someone and where to hit to stop them from trying to hurt me.

Mercy Winchester,

 

February 1987

Dear diary  
I’m twelve now. It is strange how close Dean and my birthdays are, I mean, it’s only 20 days before his. I’ve got him a new toy car that looks just like the Impala, I hope he likes it. He and Sam were nice enough to make me a present for my birthday; it was a picture of me with a sword protecting them from yellow monsters.   
Sam doesn’t even know what our Dad does when he leaves. It must have been Dean’s idea, but I love it any way. I’m going to keep it with me forever in my wallet, right next to the picture Dad took of the four of us sat on the Impala.  
The people in my class aren’t very nice. They call me an Alien, just because I’m not from around here. I don’t really care, but I don’t like not having someone to talk to in school. But I did beat up a bully who was being mean to a boy in my class. He was older than all of us and now everyone is scared of me. I don’t think I like it here and I can’t wait to leave. They made me not like being a girl, cuz girls aren’t allowed to be strong and beat people up. But Sam and Dean love me and don’t care that I’m not good at being a girl, so I don’t care either. Not anymore.

Mercy Winchester

 

April 1987

Dear diary  
we moved out of that nasty place a couple of weeks ago and I like the school we’re at now much more. It’s a big one so I am invisible to them. It’s a nice feeling.  
Sam and Dean miss the town from before though. They really liked the teachers there, everyone was nice to them. I’m really proud of them. They do their best and make lots of good friends.   
Something bad happened to me today. I knew Dad was coming back after a quick hunt so I went out to buy some snacks I knew he liked. But when I got back to the motel a man pulled me into his motel room that was a couple rooms down from where Sam and Dean were. He said some really strange stuff and tried to take my clothes off. He said a cute girl like me shouldn’t wear baggy boy clothes and that he was going to dress me up in nice pretty dresses.  
It was really scary and I couldn’t fight back because he was too big and too strong.  
I screamed really loud and Dad broke the door down. He punched the mean man and told me to check on Sam and Dean. I put them and all our stuff in the car when Dad came back and gave me a really big hug and told me he was sorry. I’m not sure what he was sorry about, he saved me.  
It was kind of hard to wash the mean man’s blood out of Dad’s clothes. I guess human blood stains more than monster blood does.

Mercy Winchester

 

August 1987

Dear diary  
we met Bobby today. I’m in one of his spare rooms right now. He’s a bit gruff and mean, but I can see that he has a soft spot for the three of us. He bought me a new outfit, one that looks like it was made for a girl. I really like it. It’s nice to have something that actually fits and doesn’t make me look like a boy with long hair. Speaking of hair, he brought me to a hair salon to get it cut to the length I liked. Cutting Sam and Dean’s hair was easy because it’s so short but mine is hard to sort out. I would have it the same as the boys, but Dad says I look nicer with long hair so I kept it. I know Mum loved my hair long too.  
I felt girly and pretty for once and I really liked it. Dean got to go and play ball, something I couldn’t do because footballs are too expensive. He had a lot of fun and I’ve made sure to remember get Dad to leave us with Bobby as often as possible. Sam also had a lot of fun. He’s still young but he loves to do puzzles and Bobby had a book just for it.

Mercy Winchester

 

October 1989

Dear diary  
I keep forgetting to write in you. Dad brought me on a hunt last year; we were going after a ghost who liked to force people to kill others. It was strange digging up a fresh grave, the body smelled weird and had lots of holes in it. Burning it was kind of fun though, like a small bonfire on the 4th of July. It was a bit sad at the same time. The woman had been killed in a bad way.  
I’m fourteen now, a fully fledged hunter too, or so Dad says. He’s started teaching Dean How to fight, not that he needs much more teaching. I’ve made sure to get him into any and all clubs and things to teach him. Dad’s really impressed with Dean and has taken him out for a celebratory meal, just the two of them. I’ve made sure Sam doesn’t feel left out and cooked a nice dinner for the two of us. He seemed to like it at least.  
I have some funny news, well funny to me at the time. Last year Dad had to give me The Talk after I found blood in my underwear. I had been growing breasts without realising and my body decided to was a good time to switch everything on. Let me tell you, the things I need to buy on a monthly basis are as expensive as hell. I’ve taken to storing some money from what I save on food to pay for the stuff. Dad tries his best, but he doesn’t quite realise how much I really need for everything.  
It was so funny watching his face go all red and stutter over his words. In the end I had to tell him I’d go find a book on it or something. They really need to teach this stuff in schools.

Mercy Winchester

 

December 1989

Dear diary  
I know I shouldn’t have, but we we’re getting really low on money. Dad hasn’t been home in ages and we’re running out. There’s this guy in my class that keeps asking me to have sex with him. Of course I kept saying no, but he started saying he’d pay me. There’s a time and place to care about virginity and all that crap but it isn’t now. Sam and Dean are getting hungry and their shoes are getting too small.  
I got fifty before we started, and another fifty afterwards.

Mercy Winchester

 

December 1989

Dear diary  
it was enough to get the boys some decent stuff. They seemed really happy with it all. Their smiles made it all worth it.  
The people at school have started to call me names and think it’s a good idea to bully me. I feel bad about what I had to do when they say nasty stuff, but Sam and Dean keep me grounded. They remind me that it’s all for a good cause.   
Unfortunately Dad still hasn’t come back, and we’re low again. The guy from before says he knows some other people who’d be willing to pay more than what he did.   
We need that money. The rent on the motel room is about to run out and we can’t be kicked out. Not until Dad gets back.  
Maybe I’ll have enough to get a new bra. The one I have has been stabbing me with the wire for a while now.

Mercy Winchester

 

December 1989

Dear diary  
Christmas is right around the corner. I managed to get through Thanksgiving without spending too much. Dad’s still not back.  
I’ve gotten Sam and Dean some great presents. Dean’s got a new duffel bag and a football along with a movie. Sam’s presents are a book filled with myths and lore from all over the world and a pack of new art supplies. But it was the last of the $400.   
There’s a girl who’s willing to give a lot of money for two nights. I’ve never been with a girl, what am I supposed to do? Oh well, at least I’m able to keep supporting the boys.

Mercy Winchester

 

January 1990

Dear diary  
she has asked for me again. This will be the thirteenth time. I have to admit it was fun, so much different from being with a man. She is always the one who takes control and I have to say, it’s nice. Sure she pays me, but I feel looked after when I’m with her. She cuddles me and tends to my needs; I like not having to be the one who is holding everything together. I like being told I’m pretty and precious.  
I’m not sure where the money comes from. I don’t think I really care. Dad hasn’t contacted me yet, so it may be time to say goodbye.   
I was never in love with her, but I know I will miss Rose a lot.

Mercy Winchester

 

January 1990

Dear diary  
I’ve called Bobby, he’s going to pick us up soon. We think Dad’s failed his hunt. What am I supposed to tell the boys? What am I supposed to do now?  
Rose wasn’t too happy when I told her we were going to leave soon. She said I coddle my brothers too much and barely spend any time with her without saying something about them. She says they don’t deserve my dedication and are spoiled brats.   
I won’t go near her anymore; I will never be close to anyone who insults my brothers.  
Anyway, Sam has found out about what Dad does. He found Dad’s journal and Dean spilled the beans. I should have known it would go down like that; they are too close to keep any secrets.

Mercy Winchester

 

January 1990

Dear diary  
Bobby’s here now. But he was late.  
Rose had found out where we were and tried to kidnap me by holding a knife to Dean’s throat. Said she would kill him if I didn’t follow her. She said she had to be the one to look after me.  
Dean managed to kick her ass before it could get too bad. I wish it had been me who broke her nose. I thought she was better than that.  
To tell the truth, I can’t stop keeping Sam and Dean within touching distance. That was enough of getting attached to others.

 

September 1992

Dear diary  
it’s been a while hasn’t it. Dad’s came back a few weeks after Bobby picked us up, I made sure to punch him in the stomach before giving him a hug.  
Dean has been shooting up like a weed, I’m 4 years older than him and yet he is almost taller than me. He’s only 13!  
Sam, thank god, is still small. I think he will always be the smallest in the family; he hasn’t really grown all that much recently.  
I should probably stop beating around the bush. You’re not even a living thing and I can’t help but talk to you like you’re a real person. You’ve helped me out so much. I should probably thank that woman who told me to do this. Not that I can remember anything about her. I just know about her because I read through the past entries.  
I’m doing it again, aren’t I?

I was raped.

Why is it so hard to say write whatever? I’m used to sex by now. I even enjoy it for both money and pleasure reasons.  
It was a guy from the year above me, a footballer too. God, how stereotypical is that? Poor little loner gets fucked over by the captain of the football team; in both senses of the words.  
I hurt all over, and I’m bleeding from a tear. Dean was really scared when I got back to the motel room, I must have looked like so pathetic. It was good Sam was fast asleep.  
I spent the night holding him close to me crying my eyes out. I wish I had left him out of it. He shouldn’t have had to see me like that. I shouldn’t have been like that.  
I’m a fucking hunter and I couldn’t fight off a human. Do I really deserve to be called a Winchester?

 

October 1992

Dear diary  
I have no idea how he found out it was him. Dean, my amazing little brother, somehow found out what had happened to me and exactly who did it and beat him to a bloody pulp.  
My thirteen year old little brother completely whaled on an eighteen year old football captain with barely a scratch in return. I honestly couldn’t have been prouder.  
Not that it stopped me from telling him to mind his own damn business. It’s my job to protect them, not the other way around.  
Dad had to move us after that because the police ended up getting involved. That’s how Dad found out about what had happened to me. I just barely stopped him from carrying on what Dean had started. Although Sam didn’t seem to know what was going on he also started glaring at any male that came to close to me.  
It’s nice to have a family who loves you.

 

April 1995

Dear diary  
How fucking stupid can I be?   
How did I not notice what was going on?  
How the fuck did I not realise my little brother was being abused by his girlfriend?

I saw the signs but didn’t take any fucking notice of it! The BRUISES, the CUTS, the FUCKING LACK OF APPETITE! I just thought Dean was in a happy relationship with a pretty and perfect girl.  
It took him CRYING IN MY ARMS AFTER I SAW THE WORDS CARVED INTO HIS BACK BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON.

That bitch isn’t going to live to see the next day.

 

June 1995

Mercy said writing in here would help. Anything and everything I need to say. She said she wouldn’t look as long as I don’t look at what she has put in here.  
So yeah, I had a girlfriend who liked to hit me. She was amazing to begin with, everything I wanted. But we fucking Winchesters never get the good stuff. We’re fates whipping bitches. Why should we ever get something good in our lives?  
Huh, Mercy was right. This does make me feel better.  
I think Mercy killed Martha.  
Wow, that was sudden. I’m not good at talking so I’ll just say it how I think it is.  
No one’s seen Martha since the night Mercy saw the cuts on my back. She just disappeared from her room and no one knows what happened. I’m not even sad about her death; she deserved it all and more. But I feel stupid for not being able to fight her off. I’m a guy and a hunter. It’s stupid that I couldn’t stop her. No one else can know. Just because Mercy is amazing and won’t make fun of me being weak doesn’t mean everyone won’t.   
Mercy has been creepily happy all week when not fussing over me. She will hum when doing chores and will quietly laugh when the news report about Martha shows on the TV.  
When she’s not being creepy, she’s been changing my bandages and feeding me food or been fussing over Sam. He doesn’t get why she does it but we both but up with it.  
I like having my family. They’re the only good part of my life.

 

May 1996

Dear diary  
Sam’s hit puberty. Ain’t that a bitch? He’s growing like a freaking weed on steroids and has the appetite to match. Dean wasn’t even that bad.  
But that’s not the worst part. Dad’s not around at the moment and Sam’s voice is cracking really badly. You see, Dad was there when Dean started and gave him the Man Talk. Now he’s off on a hunt and Dean has suspiciously gone off to the library to “study”. He’s not even trying to hide it goddamn it.  
I’ll come back with the report on how it went.

Holy crap that was the most awkward thing I’ve ever done; and I’ve had to stick my hand up a man’s asshole. (He was experimenting and I’m always willing to try something at least once (Also he was pretty hot.))  
Sam looked absolutely mortified as I tried to explain it to him. Maybe I did go a bit too detailed but I thought it would be best for him to know everything.  
You know what? I’m going to get drunk off my arse and hope to God I forget all about this.

 

November 1998

Dear diary  
I’m now 23, and still can’t notice when my brothers are in trouble! I’m a fucking failure of a sister as it seems. My littlest brother was falling into depression and I didn’t fucking notice until it got too bad.   
Sam’s been bullied by his classmates for months about his height. He started getting so angry and I found a razor in the bathroom that I know he used. He’s gotten too big for me to put him on my knees but I made sure to sleep in the bed with him. I woke up this morning with a crying teen attached to my shirt and had the whole truth straight from his mouth. I wrapped the wounds had had carved into his legs and made sure he knew just how much I loved him and how pissed off I was that he wasn’t able to tell me about all this.  
I made sure to tell the school exactly what I thought about that and will keep Sam from school.

 

November 1998

Of course the nerd would want to go back so he wouldn’t miss school. So I let him go thinking the teachers would have done something to stop the bullies from hurting Sammy anymore.   
Of course they didn’t, because this school is fucking bull.  
I thought “enough is enough” and barged into the school with Dean behind me looking just as pissed off.  
We barged into Sammy’s classroom and I slammed my fist against the teacher’s desk. Looking back on it now, the expressions on all of their faces was hilarious. Luckily the teacher wasn’t in the room for some reason or another and I was able to tell them something along the lines of:

“Do any of you bastards know who I am? No? The names Mercy Winchester and this is my brother Dean. I’ve come here today because some of you fuckers thought it was A FUCKING BRIGHT IDEA TO BULLY OUR LITTLE BROTHER! YOU’VE PISSED ME OFF AND I REALLY DON’T FEEL ALL THAT MERCIFUL RIGHT NOW! Now the next time I hear that my brother had been bullied I will be bringing in more than a knife.”

The look on Sam’s face was enough to show me that I did the right thing.   
No one hurts my brothers.

And if a few of them ended up in the hospital after then because of being in contact with poisonous chemicals? Well, it must have been their faults.

 

July 2001

Dear diary  
Sammy’s gone. I’m proud of his nerdy self, but I don’t think I’ll be able to write in you anymore.  
To many good memories that would end up soiled.

 

June 2006

Dad’s dead, almost lost Dean.

I don’t care what the other three say, I’m glad he sold his soul for Dean.

Oh God. I’m such a crappy daughter.


	17. To Make It Better, Sometimes It First Needs To Get Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure what the hell happened here. The chapter just sort of wrote itself.   
> But I hope you like it. I was ridiculously tired when I did this so there may be a few moments where someone goes totally OOC. So I apologise for any mistakes.

“He’s not handling it.” Sam didn’t bother phrasing it as a question. They both knew it was the truth.

They had all been suffering since the incident at the hospital, the death of their Dad was weighing heavily on all their minds. They all knew what John Winchester did, and all had mixed feelings about his sacrifice.

Mercy spent the first part in an almost apathetic state. Her mind couldn’t process it, none of them could really. And soon after came the relief that Dean was alive. He was the important one at the time and she thanked her father profusely in her mind for finding a way to keep Dean in the land of the living.

Then the realisation of whom it was who actually died kicked in.

Sometime after seeing her mum again Mercy had come to the realisation that she wasn’t as strong as she wanted to be, but she was in no way as weak as she tried to convince herself at low times. This shook those findings with the force of a tsunami.

She was too weak to protect her family from ending up in the hospital. She was too weak to find a way to put Dean back in his body. She was too weak to convince her father that there was still hope.

She was too weak to save her family from the yellow eyed demon again.

Then again, if her Dad couldn’t at least send the yellow eyed bastard back to hell, what chance did she have of killing the thing?

Positive thinking was the key to surviving these tragedies, even when you wanted to curl up in a ball of agony.

“What is the soldier without his general?” She replied nonchalant. The only one out of the three of them that seemed to be handling this like a normal human being was Sam. He had always been the mature one.

“He’s not a soldier!” He slammed a hand on Bobby’s table, knocking her glass of wine.

Mercy stared down the glare she was being given by her youngest brother. Mature he may be, but much like their Dad, he had anger problems.

Neither dared to speak until one of them backed down. Mercy wasn’t scared of Sam, no matter how harsh his glare. He wasn’t going to win this battle.

She continued to stare pointedly at him after he reluctantly looked away.

“I know that.” She paused, “But does he?”

A tense silence filled Bobby’s house. Mercy was just grateful that Dean had been spending all his time fixing the Impala; this was definitely not a conversation she wanted him to overhear.

“Give your brother a bit more faith.” Both Winchesters spun to face the door in surprise. Bobby simply continued. “He ain’t some flowery teenage girl, now stop moping around my house and do something productive you damn idjits!”

* * *

 

“How’re we supposed keep going Bobby?” Mercy asked quietly as she peeled the carrots. “I mean, Dean’s obviously not coping, Sam just wants revenge and then to go back to his normal life, and I just keep saying the wrong things.”

Without even the slightest bit of hesitation he answered her.

“You ain’t their mother, and I sure as hell ain’t your shrink. Your problems are your own, and their problems are theirs. So let them sort their own selves out and you focus on finishing my dinner!”

Mercy smiled, “Sure boss.”

He was still that old grump she had met all those years ago. He still had that soft spot for the Winchester children.

* * *

 

Mercy stared wide eyed in horror as she watched Dean slam the Crowbar into the mostly fixed Impala. The powerful blows reverberating throughout the scrap yard, and deep dents appeared in the cars body.

He was vicious with his blows, no holding back and no consideration for the injuries he was causing himself. Every swing had the entire power of his body pushing it to destroy another part of the car they had called home for most of their lives.

But it wasn’t his actions that scared her the most. That would be the expression on his face. The feral look would have suited a scream of animalistic rage, not unlike the monsters they hunted.

Mercy had been there for everything in his life, she knew his expressions like no one other than Sam. She had never seen such a look of hatred and self-loathing on anyone before, and it scared her because that was the look of a man who was falling off the edge. She was scared that not only would he hurt himself, but he would probably kill her if she tried to interfere.

All of a sudden his blows became pathetically weak as something inside finally gave way. Tears streamed down his face in despair and Mercy couldn’t hold back her own ugly sob.

The two locked eyes. A moment passed as they assessed each other with more than a tear in one eye.

They quickly found themselves in a tight embrace from the other as the last wall fell and they cried without shame. It was something they both needed, but it wasn’t guaranteed to fix the problem.

* * *

 

So the Roadhouse…. It looked crappy, rundown and the exact type of bar they would have a blast getting drunk in.

They had left Bobby’s without telling the man where they were going, but something told her that he already knew, or at least had an idea where they were heading.

“You two go in, I need a stretch for a couple minutes.” And by stretch she meant waiting out the pins and needles in her foot that would have her walk like a crippled penguin if she tried to put any weight on it.

Knowing her brothers, the two of them would make fun of her for it for months to come. She may be shameless, but she still had her pride.

Wait, that didn’t make sense. Oh well, she shrugged her shoulders at the strange thoughts that appeared in her mind. It was nice to get out for a bit and find a way to kill something that definitely deserved it and not be framed for murder. Not that it has happened yet, but it will, and it would be either her or Dean. Sammy had too good a luck for that to happen to him first.

Mercy shook off the thoughts once again. She was going depress herself if she continued down that road. She had promised herself to not dwell on the bad stuff and couldn’t go back on it before she even had her first case that month.

Deciding that her leg could now support her weight without feeling those pricks of the needles, she made her way to the door the boys had previously entered.

Entering the bar, she was greeted with a heart stopping scene. Her boys were stood opposite two women with shotguns. Shotguns that were facing the floor, but she didn’t notice that small detail.

One second she was at the door and the next she had the elder of the women pinned to the floor with her trusty silver knife placed against a major artery of the neck.

“You have ten seconds to give me a damn good reason for pointing a gun at my brothers or I will hack you to pieces before you can even start screaming.”

She only had an instant to see the defiant look on the woman’s face before her brothers yanked her off the attacker.

“Mercy, she’s a friend! She wasn’t trying to kill us!”

A quick glance told her that they were telling the truth, and with a long examination of the mother/daughter pair she deemed there to be threat.

“Sorry about that, I kind of go terminator when these two manage to get in trouble. Hope I didn’t hurt you too badly?”

* * *

 

To tell the truth, Sam was scared for a second there. He had seen Mercy angry before, it was hard not to when she was the very definition of over protective when it came to him and Dean. But this was different. The second she saw a potential threat they were helpless to stop her from attacking.

Although, they really weren’t expecting her to go so blood thirsty so quickly. The Mercy they knew would have stalled for time to understand what the hell was going on before “going Terminator” as she had just put it.

He thought it was just Dean that they would have to keep an eye on, but they were blind to their sister. Apparently she didn’t think anything was wrong.

She had always been the one to rely on and never really faltered for long. She was the open book of the family, but that book was full of riddles that would twist your thoughts all over the place.

Maybe they were putting too much pressure on her to be the stable one.

* * *

 

It had taken a while, but the Harvells finally warmed up to the oldest Winchester. Well, Ellen wasn’t too hard to win over. The camaraderie born from the fierce protection of their “Kids” was one that scared the three younger hunters.

Jo was the one they had trouble with. She didn’t take kindly to having her mother almost killed right in front of her.

To be honest, Mercy was fairly sure the blonde would never fully forgive the attack. Maybe when she had kids of her own?

Then again, the boys weren’t her kids so she really couldn’t liken it to that.

* * *

 

They decided to have Sam and Dean do the case whilst Mercy stayed at the Roadhouse. She wasn’t sure why it was decided like that, but it would be suspicious enough with the two of them snooping around. Never mind three.

“You fuss over them too much.” Was the first thing Ellen said when the two of them were alone.

“What are you talking about?” Mercy had a bad feeling about where this conversation was going to go.

“Now I’m not the best person to be saying this. I’m almost as bad when it comes to Jo. But you’re coddling them.”

Mercy tensed her body, “I do no-”

“Yes you do.” Ellen cut in. “It’s gotten worse recently. I can see it in how you act around them. That thing that happened this morning wasn’t normal, even the boys were shocked. I know you don’t want either of them hurt, but their hunters, it’s in the job description.”

Mercy’s clenched fist was so strong that her nails were cutting into her palms; she didn’t want to hear about all this.

“The more you try to protect them the less they will fight and the more likely they will die when you go down.”

She opened her mouth to protest but was quickly cut off from being able to voice her opinion.

“Yes, you will. Because you don’t see those boys as capable hunters but as little kids that need protecting from all the evils in the world. I, at least, fight with Jo on equal standing. You keep this up and you’re going to be the reason the two of them die.”

She took a step back, trying to escape the reality that was just dumped on her. She felt like her whole world just collapsed from underneath her, but didn’t allow herself to show it.

She knew she was coddling the boys too much, but she thought it was better for them to be grumpy and safe rather than happy in heaven. Though it seemed she had the wrong idea this whole time.

She really couldn’t learn her lesson. Hadn’t Sam already scolded her for this exact same reason?

She needed to get some fresh air.

* * *

 

The boys came back to the Roadhouse in relatively good moods. The monster was gone and they were able to blow off some steam.

The first sign that something was wrong was the grim face of Ellen Harvell. That alone was enough to get them on edge, but the letter in the older woman’s hand and the lack of Mercy in the bar pretty much told the brothers all they really needed to know.

Not that either of them were willing to accept that.

* * *

 

_Sam, Dean,_

_I’m so sorry for doing this. I can’t tell you how much it hurts me to do this. I love you two so much, maybe too much. I know you’ve both noticed how clingy and over protective I’ve become over you guys since Dad died. Hell it might have even started back when Mum died._   
_I’m starting to see you as little kids that I know you aren’t, but it’s so hard to just let you run head first into danger._   
_So I’ve decided to let you two have some room to breathe and hopefully grow. It’s not just for you guys either, I need to learn how to cope with all my problems without making your lives more difficult because of it._   
_Anyway, that’s enough of that chick-flick moment. I’m sure you’re glad about that Dean._   
_So I’m going to leave it with one demand:_

_Don’t fucking die. You know I won’t._

_Mercy._


	18. Love Is In The Air

The first few weeks were the worst. Like anyone going “Cold Turkey”, the need to go see them, to make sure they’re not getting themselves into unnecessary trouble, was almost unbearable. She couldn’t sleep or eat and only had the motivation to continue getting further away from the boys.

Each second away from them just tore her heart that little bit more. How did their dad stay away for so long? He must have had a heart of stone. Or the common sense to know that it was better for all of them that way.

She had to take the battery out of her phone on the very first day. Sam and Dean wouldn’t stop calling and she didn’t think she had the strength to keep herself from picking up the phone. She had deep scratches where the urge to contact them became almost too strong and made her body itch to leave the hotel room.

She knew from experience that marks like that were going to scar for a long time, and that healing them was going to be a painful affair. Getting her hair to grow back in those little bald patches on her head was going to be a bitch too.

How had she not realised that it had become this bad before this? She was like a madwoman; she shouldn’t be allowed to be near the public.

Her mood swings even scared her at times and the incessant want to be able to hold her brothers made the worms living under her skin wriggle and writhe. It wasn’t pleasant and she sometimes forgot why she was even doing any of this. It wouldn’t be any effort to just go see her brothers. They were probably in trouble again anyway and would need protecting.

But she would always remember by the time her hand touched the door handle.

The fourth week came and she deduced that she was stable enough to go to a bar and drown her mental illnesses in booze. Or at least have fun trying.

* * *

 

“What was he like?” The bartender asked.

Mercy focused on the attractive female in front of her. She was tall, brunette, and looked like she could kick ass. Mercy was so very tempted to flirt, until she realised the ring on her finger wasn’t for decoration.

“Girls only look the way you do when they had to leave their partner, even if they didn’t want to.”

Mercy let out a disbelieving chuckle and took a sip from her whisky, letting the burning liquid fall down her throat and settle in her warming stomach. Even drinking had seemed to have lost its fun.

“Trust me darling, I have left some of the most amazing people behind without a second thought. Well…” Mercy placed her chin in her hand and sighed, “No second thoughts until now.”

“Hmm,” The bartender placed a hand on her hip, “then what’s got you in such a sombre mood, if not a boy?”

She turned an incredulous eye towards the woman pouring another glass of whiskey.

“Since, when are you my shrink? You should know I’m only paying for the drink.” She held up the second drink to emphasise the point. In return her new “shrink” gave a joyful chuckle.

“Let me give you a bit of advice, stranger. Living life isn’t about staying alive or helping others or any of that crap you’re told as a kid, it’s not even about living life to its fullest. Life is about striving to be the person you want to be and not give a crap what others think, because it takes a strong person to admit their problems and try to correct them.”

It felt like the weight had been temporarily lifted and her chest felt like there was comforting warmth clearing away the stress.

“Why did you have to be married?” Mercy simply groaned, her face resting on the surface. But she was glad for the pep talk. She wasn’t just doing this for Sam and Dean; sometimes it was hard to remember that she was important as well.

* * *

 

Hunting was the one thing she knew would help. It made her focus and actually think rationally for once. It cleared her head and gave her a purpose that didn’t involve her brothers.

She was only just realising how depressing it was that she only had her brothers and hunting as her purpose in life. Had she ever actually done something for herself?

The lack of answer widened the hollow cavern in her mind and heart.

She shook away the dark thoughts and continued to read the newspapers that had some concerning headlines.

_Swan diving Shrink_

_Anti-gay activist gone insane_

_Missing Murder suspect_

And her personal favourite,

_Platypus infestation shocks town_

It took a bit of digging, but Mercy had been able to uncover some nasty rumours about the shrink. Apparently she had thought it was a good idea to convince her colleague’s patients that a couple more pills were perfectly safe or that bleeding allowed the depression to pour out.

The other two were obviously massive dicks as well. The nut-case especially, that hit very close to home.

But it was simple enough to realise what was going on, but the hard part was finding out who the trickster was posing as. They were all different and had different approaches. Some liked to be in the thick of things, setting things into motion as part of the players, others preferred to stay back and watch the prank unfold from a safe distance, then there were the really irritating ones that set the prank and got bored before even seeing what happens. They were the hardest to find.

Mercy sighed in frustration as she threw the papers onto the table and leaned back in her chair. No matter how many people she interrogated, how deep she dug, there were no leads to whom or where the trickster was. But seeing as the strange happenings had stopped, Mercy was sure the trickster had gone onto the next town.

She had already decided that there wasn’t much of a point chasing after the god anyway. He wasn’t killing any innocents and most tricksters didn’t actually eat any humans; that was the other pagan gods.

Mercy was shaken from her musings when her new mobile started beep. Mercy couldn’t stop the small sweet smile spread across her face when she saw who was calling her.

Within moments the stress of the hunt disappeared and Mercy felt incredibly happy and slightly exasperated. It was the closest she had ever been to being in love, and she kinda liked it.

Flipping open the phone she let the smile grow until it reached full on grinning.

“Hey Gabe, are you feeling lonely?” she teased.

“Of course, you’re not here.” The cheeky voice replied. Mercy could hear the double meaning to his words, and good god did it make her melt when his voice went low like that.

“Aw poor baby, but it looks like you’re in luck, I just finished work and have the rest of the weekend free.”

“Well what are you still doing over in that crappy motel? I have some chocolate with your name on and more movies to laugh at.”

* * *

 

The thing she had with Gabe was so simple yet so complicated at the same time.

They had met when she was going through another of her “emo” phases and was trying to drink her thoughts away with little success. He happened to think she was hot and she wanted to forget for a night.

It didn’t take much, just a few lousy pick-up lines from him and a few laughs from her and they found their way to Gabe’s place and into his bed. Not that either of them were satisfied with just the bed. To be honest, that night had to have broken some sort of record because there is no way anyone else had gone that many rounds in so many places in the apartment.

It was one of the best nights she had had in years and she felt so much better just before she finally fell asleep. And sleep she did, it was the most restful night she had since she was still a child, and thankfully there were no dreams.

The next day she somehow managed to get talked into staying for breakfast which turned into lunch and then into movie night.

They talked and laughed and got along so well that a week passed by and she was still staying in the apartment. On that last day they both went “Fuck It” and decided to date like normal adults, although they both knew that they so far away from being “normal” that they should have their own little category just for the two of them.

Gabe was small for a guy, or at least small compared to the men in her family (still taller than her, much to her irritation), but most definitely had the personality to make up for it. He was loud, witty and such a joy to be around that Mercy no longer spent her days mulling over her brothers and was finally living for herself and was purely happy.

He was almost elf like in features which really added to his “mischief maker” look along with his styled light brown hair and hazel eyes. She had to admit that she had spent hours simply admiring him instead of watching the movie and loved every minute.

He was the one thing she had ever done for herself, and she was sure she was falling in love with the sassy man.

* * *

 

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Mercy winced at her own wording, but she really couldn’t think of a better way to put it. It wasn’t fair to Gabe to keep anything from him.

Said man’s fingers stopped petting her head and the tension in the room increased as he turned the volume on the TV down. She couldn’t look up at his face so she kept her head on his lap and stared squarely ahead.

“Whatever it is, I doubt it’s as bad as the things I need to tell you.” He replied.

Mercy decided to ignore his comment for the moment and continued with her speech.

“I know that you’ve noticed how I get sometimes. Random bouts of depression and all that crap, and I don’t think it’s fair on you to keep dating you without you knowing about the baggage I’m bringing along.”

Mercy told him all about her life, minus the supernatural element of course. She had seen how that had worked out for Dean and didn’t want to risk losing Gabe because he thought she was insane or something.

She told him about watching her mother burn to death, watching her father slip deeper and deeper into the bottle and having to care for her two brothers. She spoke about the hardships of moving constantly and the challenge of basically being a single mother before she had even become a teen. She told him about the diary entries and what she had to do and was forced to do to keep her brothers alive and healthy. She explained how Sammy had left the family to go to a fantastic college and how proud yet heartbroken she was. She told him everything from then until she and Gabe met.

Her story was met with silence to begin with and Mercy slowly began to panic for every second that passed where he didn’t reply. The anxiety kept building until she felt like she was going to throw up any second.

It was almost sad how scared she was of losing a man from something as unchangeable as her past.

When Gabe once again started to stroke her hair, Mercy started sobbing in relief. He didn’t hate her, and accepted her for her past.

She wasn’t expecting him to start talking about his father and brothers and all the things he had been through in his life.

“We all have skeletons in our closets, Mercy. I’m not going to leave you because of something as stupid as that.” He said with tears falling down his face.

Seconds of silence passed and Mercy could feel the shame rising to her cheeks, of all the chick flick moments that had to be the most embarrassing one. Unable to keep control, Mercy elbowed the chocolate haired man in the stomach.

Pretty soon the two of them were rolling about on the floor tickling the life out of each other, laughter filling the place.

Was this love? Because it felt awesome.


	19. Of Cakes And Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a bit of fluff after all the angst and Mercy and Gabe know exactly what to do to get it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter, but exams are taking up a lot of my time. Hopefully I'll be able to get some free time over the next few weeks before the real battle with paper begins.

Mercy sighed in content as she snuggled closer into her lover. She couldn’t really call him her boyfriend, not after all the failed relationships in her past. It also felt more intimate; more like this is something different and would probably last.

She almost purred when a hand began to stroke through her hair, though instead she pressed even closer to the chuckling man. She was too far out of it to realise how embarrassing she was acting and would probably have a strong urge to beat something up later when she finally remembered.

“Hey Tiger, I’ve got work today, so I will be home late. It shouldn’t take too long but I have a feeling that I’m going to have to show a couple of idiots around the school.”

Mercy simply frowned and pulled him closer, the thought of losing her warm pillow was enough to bring out her stubborn streak. She was in the mood to just laze about and do absolutely nothing other than lay together.

“C’mon, I can’t skip out on work. Boss will keep calling to yell at me and that will piss both of us off.”

Realising Mercy’s grip hadn’t loosened he sighed. It was time to bring out the big guns.

“If you don’t let me go then I’ll have to skip out on movie night and work longer hours. You know what boss is like.”

And like magic the phone sprung to life. The sound grating on her nerves and shocking her out of her previous state of bliss, Mercy was not happy, but at least she was more aware and had the common sense to let Gabe leave for work.

“You better get here as soon as possible, I’ve had enough with sitting in this apartment all alone. I might even give you a treat if you get here early.” Mercy said as she watched the man get dressed for work.

She hated it when he wore that ugly jumpsuit. It hid the workman muscles and surprisingly confidant stature of the short janitor. It didn’t suit him and she wanted to salt and burn it every-time she saw it.

“I know what you’re trying to do, and it won’t work sweet cheeks. But don’t worry; I’ll make sure to make it up to you by rockin’ your world tonight.” The exaggerated wink and cheesy smile made Mercy laugh and return the wink.

Sometimes it felt so cliché and “Civilian” that she really should be cringing in embarrassment for the both of them, but Gabe somehow made it romantic, something special for the two of them to share. It was the cheesy pick-up lines caught her attention to begin with.

“Shut up you elf, go to work and do whatever the hell you need to. I’m in the mood to bake something.”

Mercy once again lost the battle and chuckled at the yell of happiness the mischievous bastard let out before slamming the front door.

Mercy rolled over onto her back as her chuckles slowly faded away.

“What am I going to do now?”

* * *

 

How Gabe had managed to set a prank in the flour bag she didn’t know. But she was now left covered in a thick layer of the powder and an exasperated look on her face.

She really couldn’t get mad when he got her like this. It was always a different prank and never did more than get her covered in something that wouldn’t wash out easy. It’s not like she wasn’t used to that from when she was hunting the nasty buggers across the country. She doubted Gabe could find anything that stuck in your hair more than ectoplasm. That stuff stayed for weeks and stank to high heaven.

Mercy cleared the mess up with practiced patience and got on with baking a triple chocolate cake, extra chocolaty, just the way Gabe loved it.

She was actually surprised with how much she enjoyed baking and cooking now she had enough room in the kitchen, or even had a kitchen. It brought back the fading memories of baking similar things with her mother and helped her de-stress when the urge to run back to Sam and Dean became too much.

But thanks to both Gabe and the new hobbies she was slowly getting better at putting her own needs ahead of others. Not that it stopped her from making sure every person that looked at either her or Gabe wrong know exactly how “Taken” they were.

The egg timer rang out throughout the kitchen, shocking the woman out of her thoughts. She hadn’t even realised that she was making the cake until that point, but it seemed that she had finished the whole cake, even the frosting and edible decorations.

Mercy had to give it to herself, it was probably the best one she had made to date, and that was fairly impressive considering her cakes usually turned out pretty awesome. It wasn’t even her tooting her own horn, Gabe had stated many times that those were some of the best cakes he’d ever had.

Mercy stared at the finished master piece and came to a decision with a confident nod. It would be wasted if Gabe didn’t see it until later, so she’d just have to go bring it to him. She was sure he’d be happy with that.

With that thought she went to clean up, boxed the cake up and went on her merry way.

She was watching way too many Disney films thanks to Gabe. She was so making him watch an action thriller later. She was losing her edge.

* * *

 

She wasn’t really sure where Gabe would be at that moment in time so she had walked aimlessly through the Campus hoping to spot him working on something or another. She hadn’t bothered to ask the students, they never took any notice of a simple janitor and would probably try to either hit on her or ignore her all together instead.

Mercy was just about to turn the corner when she heard the voice of her lover from behind her. She span around to realise he was probably in one of the offices she had walked past. She continued to listen out trying to find where he was hiding,

“You were the one who found the Professor’s body?”

Her brain and body switched off for a few moments. That couldn’t be right. They couldn’t be there right? They weren’t supposed to be able to find her!

She clutched the cake close and bolted. Every part of her was burning, aching to go back to that office. But she couldn’t, because she didn’t know if the need was for her brothers or Gabe and she didn’t want to find out.

She’d end up betraying one of them and she couldn’t do that. Not to the most important people in her life.

She was a seasoned hunter but her body couldn’t handle the strain of flat out running for more than fifteen minutes. Her breath was ripping out of her in harsh puffs and her muscles were screaming at her to stop. Even her lungs felt like they wanted to give up and rest for a minute.

But the blind panic fuelled her body and made her mind do nothing but focus on getting as far away as possible. Home was only a few minutes away and she could finally rest surrounded by her and Gabe’s things.

She didn’t care about the people she bumped into or knocked over, when she finally reached the apartment door she couldn’t stop her hand from shaking and it took much longer to unlock it than ever before.

She slammed the door behind her and ran to the bedroom, leaving the surprisingly whole cake on the counter top in the kitchen on the way.

She climbed into bed and pulled the duvet over her head, her sharp breaths become more regular as she relaxed and inhaled the scent of Gabe.

A bubble of laughter made its way to her mouth and she giggled almost hysterically.

She was a fucking hunter; she killed things that would give war heroes dirty underwear without even an inkling of fear and yet here she was.

Once again acting like a pathetic teenage girl with all sorts of mental problems!

She was supposed to becoming an independent woman, someone who wouldn’t take crap from anyone and wouldn’t be dragged in depression because of a promise she made all those years ago.

“Mercy, what are you doing under there?” Gabe’s soft voice brought her back to the surface, his hand gentle stroking along her body, calming her down further.

“I’m alright, just a bit tired.”

Gabe sighed, “If you were really tired you would have made me watch some violent movie whilst you fall asleep on me.”

“Well maybe I’m just sick or something! Go eat your cake and leave me alone for a while.”

“Nope,” He chimed out. Mercy could practically feel the mischievous smirk he no doubt had. “I’m going to stay right here and talk to my gorgeous girl who will hopefully talk to her smart, wonderful, handsome and kind boyfriend.”

She snorted, “Since when have you been any of them.” She lifted her head to see the look mock hurt on Gabe’s face, hands on his heart completing the look.

“I am hurt! And here I thought you actually loved me!” He harrumphed and stuck his nose up in the air, “I’ve seen the truth you only want me for my amazing humour!”

 Mercy rolled her eyes at his antics but joined in anyway.

“But of course, it has absolutely nothing to do with this amazing bed or the beautiful kitchen, definitely not.”

They locked eyes for a second before the two lost it and started cackling like a couple of stereotypical witches. Mercy could feel the tears falling down her face and her stomach and cheeks hurt from the laughter that had no sign of stopping anytime soon.

She reached out and pulled the jokester to lie next to her as they continued to let out peals of laughter. It was silent thanks that had a tight hug as an “anything for you” in return.

She loved how much he made her feel loved. It had been a long time coming but she knew she deserved it.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong now?” Gabe asked once the giggles finally left.

“Just a few bad memories, that’s all. I’m better already, see.” She reached out to brush a wayward strand on Gabe’s face and let her hand rest on the side of his head.

It was in intimate moments like this that she really realised how much she had been missing out on after all these years. All the love and care she could’ve been given for nothing but love asked in return.

She wished Dean could know what this felt like. Sam had had Jess but Dean had never really tried to keep a relationship and damn did she wish he knew what he was missing out on.

Even if it meant losing it in the end, it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

No, she gave a mental shake of the head; she shouldn’t be having thoughts like that. Just because she had lost so much before didn’t mean that it would be the same with Gabe. She was sure she deserved something great on her life, and that came in the form of this gorgeous man lying right next to her.

She knew all this, so why did she have such a bad feeling?


	20. The One Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't the reunion any of them expected or wanted. Dean feels betrayed, Sam is concerned, and Mercy has finally found something she isn't willing to give up for her brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait. Just for you lot I have made this chapter longer than most previous ones. Thank you for your support and I hope you enjoy!  
> (P.S. Comments would be greatly appreciated if you're willing!)

She had tried to resist. No really, she managed to stay inside the apartment for seven hours before the urge became too strong and she went out. Then again, it was better for everyone if she was up to date with the happenings of the town, like what her brothers were hunting, what her brothers were doing and why the fuck they were talking to Gabe.

There was no way they had managed to track her down. They didn’t know her tactics and she knew how to disappear without leaving a single clue to her whereabouts. Her brothers were smart, she’d give them that, but she was the one who raised the munchkins and knew how they thought and what they’d do in such a situation.

She guessed it wasn’t very impressive being proud of your ability to run away. But it was all in the name of finally being able to put herself first, as selfish as that sounded.

Anyway, back to the main topic. She was keeping an eye on them. How you may ask? It was through the power of gossiping neighbours.

No, seriously. It was as much a surprise to her as it is to you, but the local people really took a liking to her and loved having over for dinner.

She hated it at first. That kind of attention wasn’t really wanted and she did everything to get the well-mannered people to dislike her. She couldn’t talk herself into getting any piercings (the last hunter she knew of that had piercings ended up with their ear ripped in half and a chunk out of their lip), so instead she cut her hair ridiculously short and now had tattoos crawling up her arms and neck.

And yes, they were all symbols to ward off all sorts of creepy fuglies. (Gabe loved them and liked to trace them)

It didn’t work and Mercy found herself right slap bang in the centre of the gossip network, which is how she found herself sat in the living room of Mrs Jane Henriksen, the wife to some big shot FBI and one of the best lecturers in the local college. The irony didn’t escape her of being close friends with the authorities.

“Those boys have been asking very strange questions, you know.” The woman said as she placed a cup of coffee on the kitchen table in front of Mercy. “They asked me whether the school has been experiencing cold spots or smells of sulphur. It’s all very strange.”

“Well, strange things keep happening, all ‘round town. We may as well have some strange FBI to go with it all.” Mercy joked as she took a sip of the drink. If Mercy didn’t know any better she’d say the woman used some form of magic to make the coffee so amazing.

“Hmm, enough about the two stooges, I want to know about that boyfriend of yours and how’s your younger brother doing?” Mercy smiled widely at the kind-eyed woman who sat across from her.

“Gabe is just as he always is. Pranking the students and staff and spoiling me rotten. Also, Adam’s doing really well. He’s recently decided to follow in his mum’s footsteps and is working towards going to university to study medicine. He’s still got a way to go, but he’s a smart kid.”

“That sounds great. From the way you talk about him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he manages to reach the top of all his classes. I just hope my kid’s just as driven when they grow up.” She took another sip of the coffee and looked at Mercy with a glint of mischief in her eye.

If it weren’t for the years of experience of keeping calm Mercy was fairly sure that she would have sprayed the contents of her mouth all over the woman opposite her. She harshly gulped down said contents and blinked owlishly.

“You’re pregnant!” She exclaimed in excitement. The last time she had been in close proximity to a pregnant woman was her mother. If she was any indicator, Mercy knew that Mrs Henriksen was going to be positively glowing by the time her stomach started protruding.

“About a month and a half along, didn’t really know until the doctor said. It was a surprise but I really can’t wait!”

The two women continued to discuss the future of the child that was growing inside Jane’s womb. Mercy would be lying if she said she wasn’t excited to see the face of a baby once again, and no, that wasn’t the slight pang of jealousy in her chest. As much as she would like a child, she knew she and Gabe weren’t ready and probably never would be.

That was just the result of having a crappy childhood and little proof of good parenting.

* * *

 

Mercy sighed as she lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling with a wistful expression and a hand on her stomach. Would it really be that bad, having a kid?

She was settling down now, no more hunting the things in the night. It was safe and she knew how to raise a kid. She knew Gabe would be a wonderful father, even if he didn’t think so. They were the perfect age to have one or two, maybe three if they wanted.

Mercy sighed again and rolled over to her side and stared at her hand instead. Maybe that would have more answers than the white swirls above her.

Wasn’t it God who said “go forth and multiply”? Wasn’t it the whole reason for existing, to create offspring? That’s what science said, so why was it so hard to decide if she really wanted a kid?

Or maybe she was just reaching that time of the month and her hormones are trying to trick her into thinking that she wanted it rather than just her body wanting it.

She sighed for a third time. Really, there wasn’t much point in thinking about this kind of thing alone. It would just go around in circles and she would never come to an answer, so she would just have to wait for Gabe to come home.

That was going to be a difficult conversation.

Before she could talk herself out of going through with her plan, her phone started to ring. She couldn’t help but glare at it for a second before recognising the tone.

“Hey Jane, why are you calling at,” she took a look at the clock, “Eight in the evening?”

“Mercy, has Gabe come back yet?” Mercy sat up straight and furrowed her eyebrows in concern. Jane sounded worried and slightly panicked, which was bad for a woman who calmly scolded her husband after hearing about yet another near death experience.

“No, I just thought he was staying behind to set up an elaborate prank for tomorrow. What’s wrong? Has something happened to Gabe?” It wouldn’t matter what the woman now said, Mercy was already getting her stuff together and pulling her boots on.

“Mercy, please don’t do anything stupid. It’s just that during school I went to see Gabe, there was a problem with the projector but when I got to his locker I heard those sketchy FBI talk about confronting Gabe or something after school. Gabe wasn’t there to hear that of course but I started to get worried.”

Mercy went into some kind of shock and stood stock still. It didn’t seem quite right. There was no way it was really happening, right?

She took deep breaths trying to calm her down. She wasn’t going to help anyone if she was petrified in place.

She started thinking it over. Her brothers were in town because of the professor’s death and were investigating it. They went to interview Gabe because he was the one who found the body. Gabe co-operated and told them everything. The boys suspected it was a trickster and knew Gabe liked sweets and played pranks and... holy fucking shit they were going to kill Gabe.

Mercy was sprinting towards the school building in seconds of realising the situation. It was almost a sense of dèjá vu but this time she was not running away. She was going into this typical Winchester style; head first and no fucking plan but the basics to use as weapons.

She didn’t feel the burn of her lungs or the strain on her legs. It was a familiar feeling and was a comfort to Mercy. This was what she was good at, saving people.

She forgot just one thing. Winchester’s were good at saving people, but they were better at killing things.

The scene she came upon after kicking the door down was the stuff of nightmares. She had arrived just in time for her to watch the blood covered stake pierce through Gabe’s chest. She watched in silence as the man she loved so much slumped down as the light of life faded from his eyes.

She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. She was fairly sure her heart was silent too. After all, hearts don’t make a sound when they fall to pieces.

Watching Bobby and the boys smile at each other in a “job well done” was the last straw that broke the weak denial holding her mind together.

The noise that came out of her mouth couldn’t have been human. Not with the way it tore through her throat and the agony that was coming from her heart.

The three men turned to face her in surprise, recognition flashed on their faces along with a hint of happiness and confusion mixed with concern. She didn’t care about them, fuck them.

She only had eyes for the broken, lifeless body of the only one who truly made her realise that she was important.

She kneeled at the feet of the body that used to be Gabe. How or when she got there, she didn’t care. She reached out to touch his limp knee but froze before she could. Tears poured down her face as she realised that she couldn’t touch him. Couldn’t let this be reality, it had to be a dream.

Just another of those fucking dreams that tormented her but never really bothered her because she knew Gabe was going to be right there when she woke up.

He was going to pull her into a strong hug that would ground her and make some lame joke about seeing her own face in her dreams. He would ignore the tears in her eyes and instead sing a little song that was so off key that she wouldn’t be able to keep herself from laughing and joining in and this would all be forgotten.

That had to be the truth. There was no way Gabe was dead. Gabe couldn’t die. They were supposed to be going to Jane’s baby shower next weekend and Gabe wouldn’t miss it for the world. She was supposed to have the conversation with him.

She was going to tell him she wanted to carry his children. That she wanted to get married. That she loved him and they were going to grow old together and spoil their grandkids and eat a ton of candy and sleep together and die old, happy and ready for the next life.

She was going to stress about life and he was going to laugh at her and hug her and kiss her and joke and pull her into bed and declare his everlasting love for her and… and… and…

He promised to never leave.

Reality crashed around her. There wasn’t going to be anymore jokes, anymore kisses, anymore actions that made her feel so safe and loved. They weren’t going to have a gorgeous baby who would have her eyes and his hair and nose.

Another scream ripped out of her body and she buried her head into the lap of the man she had given everything to; her heart and soul, now gone, along with him.

IT WASN’T FAIR! THEY HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG! They were happy, complete in their lives. Why did fate have to take him away as well? Why did fate take everything she loved?!

“Mercy?” The soft voice of her youngest brother brought her out of her mind. Her head and heart ached and her face was soaked in tears but she couldn’t find it in her to care.

“Why did you have to kill him?” She whispered, not even glancing at them. She couldn’t look at them, not after this.

“He was hurting people. He killed people Mercy. We needed to put him down.” Dean replied.

“So what?” She murmured.

“What?” Dean asked.

“So what if he was hurting people? They all deserved it.” She spoke louder this time. She winced at how broken she sounded.

“How can you say that? Mercy, it’s our job to gank monsters! Loki was no exception!” Sam practically yelled.

Mercy viciously turned to glare at them, tears ruining the affect as they continued to fall.

“He wasn’t a monster!” She screamed.

“He was a trickster!” Dean screamed back.

“I know!” She hiccupped, “I knew the whole time, but I didn’t care. I still loved him.” She heard all three of them gasp as they gaped at her.

“I was even going to ask him if he was ready to have kids.” She whispered. All the anger she had held before drained away, leaving her feeling empty and hollow. She just wanted Gabe to smile at her again.

“We’re sorry-” Sam started but she cut him off with a simple.

“No you’re not. Hunters are never sorry for killing monsters. Just get out of here. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

Lies, she needed someone to stay with her. She wanted her brothers to comfort her, but she knew she had to make them leave because they did something unforgivable.

But she knew that she would end up forgiving them anyway, because that was who she was and that was the true power they held over her.

Gabe deserved better than that. Gabe deserved so much more than her forgiving and forgetting. If she could have she would have shot the three hunters on the spot. She probably would have if they were anyone else.

She hated herself.

“Mercy-” Bobby placed a hand on Dean’s arm, effectively shutting him up.

“Let’s go, son. She needs to grieve.”

“No!” Surprisingly it was Sam who moved to grab his sister.

Pure rage rushed through her veins and she quickly punched the taller sibling in the face with all her strength. She glared harshly at the stunned man on the floor.

“Get out of my fucking face.” She spat, “I want nothing to do with either of you. It’s because of the two of you that I have lost everything precious I ever had. In the past I didn’t care, I gave it all up willingly because I loved you. But this was one step too far; he is the one thing I care about more than you two leeches.”

Just to sate the last remnants of rage still boiling within her, she dropped her hunter phone on the floor and stomped on it, destroying their only way of contacting her in one move.

They quickly left after that and left the weeping woman to continue hugging the leg of her lost partner.

It wasn’t until she had finally managed to calm down that she realised it.

She almost started laughing hysterically and new tears started to fall down her face.

Those weren’t Gabe’s shoes.

“You are never aloud to leave me again.” She spoke aloud. There was the sound of rustling and Mercy knew who now stood just behind her.

She turned to see a guilty smile on his face and love clearly shone in his eyes.

“So kids? I think I’d like that.”


	21. Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The question of kids is hanging in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the continued support of C.O.M.W.S.A.D and I know it's starting to get domestic, but don't worry, things will start livening up in the next chapter or two.

Mercy slowly ran her hand down the sleeping Gabe’s face and traced each feature, she marvelled in the fact that he allowed himself to be so vulnerable with her. He really had the (pardon the pun) angelic innocence about him when he let down his guard.

She knew when they first got together just how important he was, but watching him die like that reinforced that fact with steel. She liked to think they complimented each other well with only a few real arguments dotted here and there and that they couldn’t function as completely if they were separated than as they did when together.

It was a truly frightening thing, being unable to see yourself in the future without someone. It made you feel so vulnerable, yet at the same time so strong because it’s something you hold onto with every ounce of strength you own and then some.

Yes, Mercy thought as she rested her fingers on the sleeping man’s rough lips, she really was lucky that she had found Gabe.

“Y’know that’s kinda cute but kinda creepy at the same time.” Gabe whispered and kissed the fingers.

“I’m just thinking up all the best ways to keep you soft when I cook you.” She joked as she cuddled closer to the man.

Gabe’s chuckle vibrated through her and a small smile graced her face. It was moments like this that made her realise that maybe; just maybe, that entire hardship and heart ache was actually worth suffering through.

“You and I both know I’d be delicious.” The laughter was still in his voice, “But you love me too much to cut me up.”

“True, but you forgot the part where you’re impervious to any weapon I could get my hands on.”

Of course it had come as a surprise when he told her what he truly was. She had spent so long thinking that he was a pagan trickster god only to find out her lover was a mighty archangel, one of the mightiest creatures in creation.

Her depression came back in full swing because she assumed he would no longer want her sullying him. She was so sure she’d end up corrupting him that she had come close to leaving him in an attempt to save him from any more pain.

As always, he convinced her that if centuries of killing humans wasn’t enough to damn him then something as pure and bright as her had no chance in even making the tips of his wings grey.

Although she was sad that, as a human, she didn’t have the ability to perceive his wings, of which he had six apparently.

The joke about over compensating had been made.

“Well aren’t I lucky?” Gabe responded.

He pulled her in closer as she slotted her head under his chin and took a deep breathe to take in his scent. Mentally she knew he had never really left and, there was no chance of him leaving again, but emotionally she was still grieving over the short term death of her rock.

She had to make sure he was real and not a figment of her mind. It had never happened before, however you could never be too careful; it was good to keep your mind sharp and aware of any disturbances in your head.

* * *

 

“We’re adopting.” It was all he said on the matter.

Mercy had been fully prepared to go through all the ups and downs of carrying a child, but the second she told him to forget the condom he shot her down.

Hence her total breakdown in the bathroom,

It had been barely five minutes after Gabe left to go to his “job” when she couldn’t keep it together any longer. She had bolted under the sink, locking the door on her way in, and sat with her knees to her chest and her hands pulling at her hair.

Her breaths were coming in short, ragged pants and gasps and her body was violently shaking as tears fell down her face. Mercy didn’t even feel the pain in her lungs or the dizziness in her head seeing that she was too far into her own head to notice the physical problems never mind understand what was happening.

She was trying with all her might to find what it was that made him so disgusted with having a child that shared their DNA. She wasn’t ugly and her personality was obviously not it as he would have left her already if it was the case.

Maybe it was because he knew their kid would end up with a fucked up mind like hers? Or was it that he thought she couldn’t handle a baby and wanted an older kid so that there was less of a chance that she would hurt them?

She managed so well with Sam and Dean though. They grew up handsome and with good morals.

There were too many reasons why and not enough to counteract them.

Mercy was really starting to hate her own mind with all the crap it was shoving in her face and all the unnecessary images it created. The worst part was that she really believed it; each and every self-depreciating thought had a reason to exist.

“Mercy?”

Her eyes shot up to connect with familiar dark orbs. Unfortunately they weren’t familiar enough.

Mercy grabbed the gun filled with silver bullets that was hidden behind the toilet and pointed it straight at the head of the blurry figure stood before her. She didn’t shoot; thank god she didn’t shoot, thank god for the little voice forcing her finger to freeze before it could send a bullet flying through the barrel.

The calm voice continued and it confused Mercy. She couldn’t hear what it was saying and couldn’t understand why she had the intense urge to focus on it.

“-honey, it is okay. No one is going to hurt you, there’s just you, me and little Bumblebee.”

Jane? What was she doing there? Didn’t she know it was dangerous? What if something happened to her? She wasn’t just thinking about her own life now days.

Mercy’s eyes widened in horror and she dropped the gun in her hands like it was molten lava. She stared at the offending article and backed herself up further into the wall trying to get as far away from it as possible.

A hand on her knee was enough to shock her out of the frantic state she pushed herself into and the soothing voice talked her through calming her breathing and allowing herself to come back into her right mind.

Once she was no longer struggling for breath, she took one broken look into the dark eyes of Jane and broke down into tears.

The older woman simply comforted her as she clung to her, sobbing.

* * *

 

There are something’s that you really never expect to live long enough to witness. One such thing would be a crabby pregnant woman ripping a new one into an archangel disguised as a god.

It had taken a few tries and a lot of translating on Jane’s part, but she finally managed to get the full story out of Mercy and she was not happy.

Not only was she absolutely livid with Gabe for what he said but she was also furious at the fact that he was unable to spot the signs that would have told him that his lover was falling to pieces from the inside out.

Gabe was switching between backing away from the pissed Henriksen with a scared expression, and staring at her red eyes and tear stained face with the look of total guilt and concern.

“What did you honestly think would happen when you told her that without any sort of explanation?! How would have you reacted?! You better make it up to her big time!” Jane turned away from Gabe to start towards the soft smiling Mercy but quickly turned back with an accusing finger. “Also, why the hell were you so late mister?! You better have a damn good excuse or I’m going to show you a whole new meaning to the saying ‘go fuck yourself’!”

The holy being looked over the shorter woman and audibly gulped in fear. Mercy didn’t blame him; Jane was a scary woman when she wanted to be. Scrap her husband, if the FBI hired Mrs Henriksen then all the criminals she went after would gladly hand themselves in, no questions asked.

“I-uh-I was-uh- I was dealing with some vandalising students?” Gabe nervously stated.

The woman gave Gabe a hard stare, “Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Telling you, I’m definitely telling you!” He exclaimed a few pitches higher than normal.

“Good. Now Mercy is going to stay over at mine tonight, so you better have something special prepared as an apology by tomorrow evening.” Her glare told him that there were to be no arguments or he was going to regret it.

“Jane, you really don’t need to do this! Honestly Gabe, it was just me overreacting, you don’t have to do anything.” The two looks she was given in return told her that they completely disagreed with her comments and were going through with the plan whether she gave her consent or not.

She gave a deep sigh. She hoped to god that Gabe wouldn’t overdo it like he usually dis.

* * *

 

Overdid he did.

After a nice day relaxing with the pregnant woman and a great couple of drinks with Victor she had gone into their apartment with trepidation.

Obviously Gabe had gone overboard with the traditional method of giving flowers by covering every inch of their home with some kind of flower and petals that she bet had some kind of deeper meaning.

Trust Gabe to go that one extra step.

“That’s not all you know.” Mercy whirled around to find Gabe leaning against the door frame. “I fucked up and I realise that I fucked up, so you better let me make it up to you.”

Mercy smirked and gave a playful wink to the angel.

“Give me everything you’ve got.”

Mercy had to admit, the trip to Disney Land was a great idea. A day of being giant kids was just what they needed.

* * *

 

“It’s nothing to do with you.” Gabe confessed as he kissed her forehead.

The two of them were sat on the sofa watching some kind of sappy Disney movie that was guaranteed to get Gabe shedding a tear over it. She apparently had a higher tolerance for the movies and only felt a bit sad during the depressing moments.

“Then why do you want to adopt?” She didn’t turn to look at the angel. They needed a proper conversation without one or both of them falling into tears because of the other.

The male gave a deep sigh, “I’m the only archangel to desire a human, to desire anything in a sexual way really. So no human has ever become pregnant with an archangel’s child, I don’t know what it could do to you or the child.”

“You idiot,” Mercy slapped said idiot lightly on the chest, “You couldn’t have just said that to begin with?”

“I was being an idiot and didn’t think things through.” He agreed. “So do you agree with the whole adoption thing?”

Mercy rolled her eyes, “Of course, but I have a few conditions that can be negotiated later. One, I get final choice on the kid because knowing you; you will try to adopt the most irritating one just because you’ll think it’s funny. Two, we will both have to agree on which kid we want. Three, I want a teenager to start with.”

Mercy turned to keep an eye on Gabe’s reaction. She didn’t want him to agree out of guilt for the mistake the day before.

“Why a teen, wouldn’t a young kid be easier?” Gabe questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Teens are less likely to be adopted and I want to help them. There was a very high chance of me being one of them before and I want to give someone a chance at a better life when they think there’s not much of a chance left.”

“You and your hero complex,” He chuckled, “alright, we’ll get a teen and maybe a younger kid afterwards?”

“We’ll see.”

She tried to ignore the niggling at the back of her head that told her that it was too late.


	22. Another One To Add To The Collection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mercy's back and ready for action. If only the same could be said for the recently returned Sam and Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late posting, but i hope this speeds up the action! Please enjoy and any comments would be amazing!

Mercy could only stare at the door in dread as she and Gabe psyched them up for what would ultimately happen the second they took a step in the home.

She took a deep breath to calm her mind and heard Gabe mimic the action. She reached out to knock onto the door but was stopped in surprise by a loud shout from within.

“First Dean comes back from the devil’s ass and now Sam’s back from God knows where.” Bobby sighed heavily, “If Mercy pops up from nowhere I’m gonna shoot someone!”

That at least told her what her brothers had been up to since she left. She should have known they’d end up in some kind of trouble without her there to talk them down. A pang of guilt shot through her heart but she ignored it. The time they spent away from each other was good for her, and most likely was the same for the boys. They needed time to grow up and learn to live without the weight of family on them.

“You ready to get shot at, Tiger?” Gabe broke her out of the thoughts and got her giggling.

She wasn’t too sure that Bobby really wouldn’t shoot Gabe but they had no other choice. She knocked on the door, listening to the sound of it echo through the now silent house.

A moment passed in silence until the door quickly opened to reveal a hand gun wielding Bobby Singer. He took one look at the pair of them and growled something about stupid idjits before proceeding to take aim and shoot Gabe in the chest.

“Um, ow,” Gabe yelled as he stared down to the hole now in his chest. “It won’t kill me, but it sure as hell hurts like a bitch!”

Mercy once again took deep breaths to calm her fluttering heart. She knew that Gabe couldn’t be killed in theory, but it was kind of hard to remind herself of that fact when it is used in practice.

“Did you really have to shoot him Bobby?” She joked, “I really liked that top on him.”

The two stared at each other for a passing second which ended with her being dragged into a crushing hug with her pseudo uncle. She smiled at the action and hugged back tightly. It reminded her of home and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t happy to be back.

When they leaned away from each other they didn’t completely let go and stared into each other’s face. Bobby looked worn and so tired, but there was still that fiery spark inside him that spoke of his iron will. Also, within the grisly expression he always had, Mercy could see the acceptance, forgiveness and approval.

Approval for what though?

The deep sound of a throat clearing split the two apart and Mercy was left standing awkwardly under the glares of her brothers. The silence was deafening and the two bystanders showed no sign of interfering with their reunion.

Mercy shook of the regret and made her body stand straight. They were family, they could get through this.

And, she added in her thoughts, just because she had been around civilians, it didn’t mean she had turned soft. She was still the badass Hunter that slew a whole nest of vampires at the age of eighteen without gaining even a scratch or bruise.

“There’s no point trying to ignore the problem, so I’ll just come out and say it.” Mercy spoke with a strong voice, and for once she actually felt as strong as she sounded. If truth be told, she felt stronger.

She looked the two boys- no, men- in the eyes with the same ferocity as she did when she was frank with her father all those years ago.

“I’m sorry for the things I said the last time we met. You were just doing your job and I knew that, but I let my anger control me and said things I didn’t mean.” The two younger Winchester’s relaxed their stances as she spoke. “I love the two of you, you are my family and I’d do anything for either of you.” Dean made to step closer but Mercy stopped him with a well-meaning stare.

“However,” Her voice still strong, “I will not now, nor will I ever, apologise for leaving. I was falling apart but, like a stubborn idiot, wouldn’t admit it because I felt I had to be strong for the two of you. That was stupid of me and I finally realise what I had been doing to you. But I’ve changed now; I found a life outside of wrapping you up in bubble wrap.”

Her speech was met with awe and just a tiny bit of shock. She had matured now that she wasn’t trapped by the past and had become so much stronger than ever before.

“Yeah, um, we’re sorry too.” Dean started as he rubbed the back of his head, “Y’know about, killing Loki.” He took a slight double take and turned to the said god, “Sorry.”

Gabe gaped at the brothers before he stuttered out a thank you. Mercy felt strangely proud of her family (Gabe included).

However, all bashfulness was wiped from Gabe’s face as he tilted his head as though trying to hear something. He quickly pulled Mercy close to him and gave a small kiss to the cheek.

“That would be my queue to leave, I’ll see you later.” And with that he vanished in an instant.

The family soon began talking after his departure and Mercy was caught up with everything that had happened in the year and a half that she had been “missing”.

“I know a psychic, Pamela, if anyone could find what dragged your ass out of hell it would be her.” Bobby suggested and the men quickly agreed. It seemed to them that it was their only choice.

“No need; I already know what it was.” If their heads had turned any faster, Mercy was sure that they’d snap right off their necks. “Now it’s just a case of finding out which angel did it and why.”

* * *

 

After a lengthy discussion and a heart to heart with Dean who thought that he wasn’t worthy enough to have been saved by an angel (which she shut up with a stern “I don’t give a damn what you did down there or why you think you’re not worthy. The fact is that you were saved by an angel so that means you’re a hell of a lot more worthy than all the other millions who were also dragged down into hell.”

They drove to a barn situated in an abandoned field and just looked at it for a moment. They could all feel that something big was going to be set in motion the second they stepped into the decrepit building.

She was about to follow Dean and Bobby into the barn when a hand around her wrist kept her back. She turned to see Sam who had a pained expression and looked so close to letting out tears.

“You knew Dean was in hell this whole time?” He sounded so downtrodden, but Mercy could hear the sharp edge of accusation on his words.

“I did.”

“Then why didn’t you come find me to help search for a way to save him?” His grip on her tightened with each word,

“Because I knew he couldn’t be saved and was mourning.” She knew this didn’t pacify him in the slightest by the still increasing grip.

“So why didn’t you help me?” His voice was barely a whisper and filled with pain.

Mercy knew this wasn’t the time for this, they needed to summon the angel soon, and so she yanked her hand away and turned back to walking to the barn.

“Because I was hurting just as much, it would have been stupid to put that much grief together.”

Dean turned a questioning look towards her when they walked in late, to which she answered with a slight shake of her head. Dean had enough regret on his shoulders; she wasn’t going to add more to it.

“This is impressive!” Mercy praised the older man. She had never seen so many sigils from so many countries and religions in one place before.

“At least someone appreciates me; your brother over there called it an art project humph.” The grouchy man replied.

“Don’t worry Bobby, it just means he thinks it’s awesome.” She teased.

“Hey, I’m right here you know!” Dean whined and caused all four of them to burst into laughter.

Yeah, it was nice to be back.

“Are you ready to drag this thing’s ass here?” Bobby asked the three of them. Though none of them answered, they didn’t need too.

It was time.

The spell was said, the fire burnt, the winds howled, and they were tense with anticipation.

The door burst open and sparks showered all in the room causing their eyesight to become distorted and for them to turn away from the figure shrouded in moonlight. The loud footsteps rang in their ears and Mercy was struck with a strange mixed feeling of wonder and fear that sent her into a serious state of mind.

The sparks finally died down which allowed the four humans to turn to the creature who had just entered only to see… a tax accountant?

Mercy knew not to judge anyone or anything by appearance alone thanks to her experience as a hunter (and hell, no one would expect Gabe to be an archangel by sight alone), but this was just getting stupid.

The guy looked like he was both sombre yet confused at the same time which was strange to look at and made him look ever so slightly constipated.

Mercy barely stifled the laugh at her thoughts. She had to have been spending far too much time with Gabe if this is what she starts thinking in such a tense moment.

“My name is Castiel and I am an angel of the lord.” The angel announced to the shocked humans.

Like a switch had been flicked with those words, the three male hunters raised their guns and began firing at the poor confused angel.

When all ammo had been used the men traded the guns for wickedly sharp blades and advanced. Mercy, however, simply stayed in her little corner and watched it all go down. There was little that could harm an angel and he obviously wasn’t there to hurt any of them, so she just stayed out of the way and let her family get rid of a bit of steam.

The fight was over quickly with Sam and Bobby fast asleep on the floor and Dean backing away from the approaching figure.

“We need to talk.” The angel stated, although it was obvious that Dean was not in the mood for talking. He sent panicked looks at Mercy, trying to get her to do something, anything at all.

She mentally sighed before clearing her throat in order to gain Castiel’s attention. Said angel turned to look at the female hunter in intrigue, it seemed he either didn’t expect her to interfere or didn’t know she was there in the first place.

“Why have the angel’s decided to walk the earth now of all times?” She asked.

Gabe had told her that most angels didn’t understand basic human common sense or understand any kind of reference or saying. So basically, she had to talk to Castiel like she talked to her brothers when they were under the age of ten.

“God has ordered us to rescue Dean Winchester from hell for He has a mission for him.”

Mercy gave a small snort at the pathetic explanation. She had never taken any kind of shit from Sam, Dean or Gabe and was certainly not going to take it from a young angel.

“We humans have this pesky thing we like to call Free Will, which means we get to choose whether we want to follow your instructions depending on how much information you give us. We’re certainly not if that’s all you’re giving us.”

Mercy glared down at Castiel, ready for the tedious event that was going to be gaining information. 

If the angel's were getting involved then something huge and probably devastating was on it's way.

Bring. It. On.


	23. Castiel, Our Average Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are nearly finished! Thirteen down and only three to go, and two are tomorrow. So updates should start happening more often! I'd like to thank all of you for staying with COMWSAD through all this and i hope you continue to enjoy it until the end!

Mercy was learning many things today to her surprise. She wasn’t overconfident in any sense of the word, but she was sure that this angel before her couldn’t do anything she hadn’t already expected.

And then he started a staring competition with her. Not that he actually declared it but he was staring at her too long for her to do anything but reciprocate.

They were sat on either side of Bobby’s ratty old sofa; assessing one another to the point where looking away would be admitting defeat. Or at least that’s how she saw it. She blames Gabe for reawakening her competitive side, because she was not this childish before she got with the archangel.

Castiel was a bit of a mystery to Mercy. She knew he wouldn’t act like a human, mainly because he wasn’t one, but his actions were so stiff. He was like a statue that only just found that it could move and wasn’t sure exactly how.

She had acted like she had all the answers before, but she really was only working on what Gabe had told her, which wasn’t as much as she would’ve liked. But it was enough to convince Castiel and his superiors to stay with the Winchesters to fully convince them to their cause.

Not that she was going to follow to their tune. Everyone had an ulterior motive; it was just the case of finding the angels and using it to their advantage. Easier said than done, but Mercy was feeling optimistic.

Unbeknownst to Mercy, her brothers were getting ready to travel after a strange text from Gabe (or Loki as they know him) that stated they needed to reach a certain destination ASAP without the knowledge of their older sister.

Thank God for the angel distracting her. (Being thankful for small mercies didn’t quite mean the same thing to the family for obvious reasons.)

The two of them got out with relative ease which set a sense of foreboding. Nothing went easy for the Winchesters.

 

 

 

“Your brothers seem to be leaving the premises.” Castiel stated with his brows furrowed yet the staring continued.

“They’ll be back at some point.” She said easily.

* * *

 

“What is so important that we had to drive all the way out here you asshat?!” Dean yelled into the empty abandoned warehouse.

The two brothers were cranky after the long ride and really weren’t in the mood to be dealing with Loki of all people.

“Aw, and here I thought we had all kissed and made up.” Gabe called from behind them.

The two hunters quickly spun to face the god but kept their weapons out of their hands. They didn’t trust Loki and they sure as hell didn’t like him, but for the sake of their sister they were willing to keep all aggression to words only. Unless he started anything,

“Just get to the point.” Sam spoke.

Loki sighed in response, “Look boys, I get it. You want to kill me, I want to mess with you, but we can’t, because hey, as much as it hurts to say this, we’re family now.”

“Who said you were family Jackass?” Dean snarled. They had left their sister and Bobby alone with a warrior of heaven that they were still cautious about. They didn’t have time for the asshole stood before them.

Said asshole raised his hand to show the silver band around his left ring finger. The ring was decorated with a strange sigil that they had never seen before (Enochian for strength) and they simultaneously thought back to the ring that had been on Mercy’s hand.

“You got married?” Sam exclaimed loudly.

“Well, yes and no. There wasn’t the whole white dress or ringing of the bells, wrong religion and all, but it’s all down on paper.” Gabe explained with a smug smirk, “A lot can happen in a year and a half. You killed a demon, Dean went to Hell, and we got married and became the god parents of the cutest little human boy you will ever see.”

“You made us come all the way down here just for that. You could have just come to Bobby’s and told us.” Sam growled under his breath.

“Yeah, well, let’s just say it’s better for all of us that the angels don’t know where I am or that I’m affiliated with you at all. Saying that, I’ll tell you exactly why I called you here. The angels don’t need Mercy like they need the two of you. Any of you do something they don’t like and she will be the first to go and unlike you two dunces, there’s no one who has bringing her back to life on their ‘to do list’.”

The two Winchesters stared at the grim man in horror. Hunting has always come with the danger of death, but to know that they were able to come back whilst their sister wasn’t?

That was hard to hear.

“So what do you suggest we do?” Sam questioned with his voice small.

“Hell if I know,” Loki sounded angry, whether with himself or with the brothers they weren’t sure but he sounded incredibly frustrated, “but I don’t care what they ask you to do, Mercy’s safety is top priority. You hear me?!”

“She’s our sister,” Dean growled back, “I think we know what’s good for her better than you. We love her more than you ever could, so don’t you dare suggest that we can’t protect her!”

“We know her limits, but we’ll do it,” Sam continued, “not that we needed this whole talk.”

“Whatever; you do what you want. But the second things start to go downhill you place these, “Loki pulled out a pair of amulets and threw them to Sam and Dean, “on the floor and say the trigger word “Gabriel”, I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

The two nodded with stern expressions and turned to leave. But before the trickster god could disappear from the building the brothers turned back to say one last thing each.

“You may be a massive dick, but when it comes to our sister, you might not be quite so bad.” Dean called.

“But I swear to every deity that exists, if you hurt her we won’t even try to hold her back from cutting off your balls. We’ll even help by shoving them down your throat.” Sam smirked.

* * *

 

Back with Mercy, she had become bored of the staring and had given up winning against an angel that was probably so old that he had the patience to watch grass grow without so much as twitching.

So instead she had tried to strike up a conversation. Safe to say he had no conversational skills what so ever and Mercy had quickly come to the conclusion that Castiel had a very large stick stuck up his ass.

This was why she was now putting makeup on the confused angel, and having a blast doing so. The poor shmuck was either a push over or had somehow acquired a soft spot for Mercy in the few hours he had known her. She was betting on the former, no one with that stoic of a face could tell someone else to stop.

“I don’t understand. Why are you placing chemicals on my vessel’s face?” He asked as she furrowed her brows in concentration as she was doing the eyeliner.

She had to give him props; he didn’t so much as flinch when she put on the mascara and almost gouged his eye out. Makeup was not her forte and would never be.

“I was bored and you were there. Also, these chemicals will change your appearance. Whether it’s good or not depends on how good the one putting it on is. Sorry dude, but I am crap at this so you’re going to look derpy.”

They quickly went back to the silence and Mercy continued her art project. Who ever said she was a sensible grown-up really needed to meet Gabe.

To be honest she had no clue why Bobby had such a large stash of makeup in one of the bathrooms  but put it up to Jo and Ellen as the makeup was too recent to have been his wife’s. She was sure they wouldn’t mind.

“What the fucking hell have you done?!” The two occupants suddenly noticed that they were no longer alone. Bobby looked like he had just seen Satan do a belly dance on a rainbow whilst singing Highway to Hell.

Oddly specific but Mercy had had that dream before and knew the look.

It was only then that she realised the position she was in. Somehow during the makeover, Mercy had arranged her body to straddle the poor angel to get a better angle to his face and had somehow made Castiel look like a really bad drag queen.

It took a second of her looking between the two males before she started laughing her head off. The great guffaws leaving her breathless but she couldn’t stop the giggles from tumbling out her mouth. She soon lost her balance and fell off the sofa onto the floor still rolling around in laughter.

Her chest, stomach and face all hurt but it was the good kind. She kinda felt like a teenager again after all these years.

“I don’t understand.” Castiel directed to the older man.

But all Bobby replied with was, “God damn Winchesters,” And left the woman to continue with her giggle fit and the angel to stare in more confusion.

* * *

 

When the boys finally found their way back to the house they were left speechless at the sight of a makeup massacre. Mercy’s attempts on Castiel intrigued the angel and he decided to have a try at “partaking in female human culture” because angels don’t have genders or whatever. It must make life a tad easier when the only thing that truly separates them is power and personality.

Dean had to drag the brightly coloured angel to the bathroom to wash off the “whore paint”, as Dean put it. She knew he only meant the sheer amount that they had caked on each other but it kind of stung to have a moment of childish glee insulted in such a way.

Either way, she had to sit patiently as Sam wiped away the last remaining colours that she had missed in her attempt. It reminded her of when she had to wipe away the chocolate ice cream from six year old Sammy’s face. How things had changed.

It was sad to see that as she became more childish her brothers became more scarred and mature.

“So did you get anything out of him?” Sam asked as he roughly scrubbed at a patch of water proof mascara that had somehow managed to find its way onto her forehead.

“Of course I did, what do you take me for?” Mercy replied sassily. She may not have been thinking about getting information but there were perks to having a “chick-flick moment”; like gossiping, because Castiel was surprisingly interested in human culture, including the weird bonding moments between the more feminine of the species.

“Well?” Sam stepped back to check that he managed to get all the makeup.

“I learnt more about the different angels than I think even Jesus knew. Did you know their sense of humour is completely different to ours? And that none of the angels, other than a select few have actually met God? I digress. Apparently the whole saving Dean from hell thing was so that he could help stop the demons from freeing the devil from hell. He’s known as the Righteous Man but accidently broke one of the seals keeping said devil from escaping.”

Her voice was dark from the moment she mentioned the whole thing about God and continued to get progressively more serious as she continued through her explanation.

“So basically we’re all fucked.” Sam whispered.

Mercy really wished she didn’t recognise that look on her youngest brother’s face. But she knew she wasn’t seeing things and that Sam was the spitting image of her father just after he found his one true love in the bottom of every bottle.


	24. The Ripples We Make

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late chapter. Safe to say that was one hell of a writers block I had to break through and it doesn't seem to want to stay down but I'm going to try harder to do my best!  
> Any and all kudos and comments are welcome and i hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> (It's not really one of my best)

Mercy was shocked when Dean stormed into the room with an irritated Sam walking behind him. She was fairly sure she had never seen Dean to red with anger before then and she really wasn’t sure she wanted to know why.

But it would seem that Dean wasn’t going to let her have a choice in the matter.

“Sam has been using his powers again!” He directed at her.

“What?!” She turned to look at her But it would seem that Dean wasn’t going to let her have a choice in the matter.

“Sam has been using his powers again!” He directed at her.

“And that’s a problem how?” She asked. Sam was psychic, sure it was thanks to demon blood, but it really wasn’t worth this much palaver. It hadn’t hurt anyone yet and it wasn’t like he had much of a choice when it came to having said powers.

“It’s a problem, because he’s been hanging around that bitch Ruby trying to make them stronger!”

Okay, yes, that was a problem.

“Sam, what the hell are you thinking?!” She spun to look at said man. “Since when has anything involving her been a good idea!”

Sam threw up his hands and sighed dramatically.

“Since when has having another weapon been a bad thing? We need all the help we can get to stop these seals from breaking!”

“And you think Ruby doesn’t want them to break?!” Dean interjected.

“Oh, come on Dean.” Sam took a step closer to his older brother, “She’s trying to help!”

“Yeah, she’s helping herself! Because that’s what demons do, Sam! They’re all about gain and don’t care what happens to us on the way!”

“She’s different from the other demons! She doesn’t want the devil out; the enemy of my enemy is my friend!”

“Don’t go quoting that crap! We have enemies and friends. Sorry if I’ve got it wrong, but no hunter worth their crap would call a demon a friend!”

“There are exceptions in all cases! What about Loraine? She was friendly!”

“She wasn’t a demon Sam. They’re different!”

“How Dean? How is it any different?!”

The two men were slowly getting closer and closer as they screamed themselves blue and Mercy knew that if this continued there was going to be a fist fight. So she quickly inserted herself between them and pushed with all her strength.

“That’s enough!” The silence that followed was only broken by the harsh breathing from all three.

A few beats passed as they calmed themselves down. Yelling wasn’t getting them anywhere, but they weren’t sure what else they were supposed to do.

“Sam. Please. We’re family, tell us everything from the start and we’ll figure everything else from there.” Mercy spoke, hoping that she hadn’t just made the biggest mistake by suggesting it.

They all sat, tense as they listened to the story, and Mercy had never felt so stupid in her life. Her brother had tried to tell her about this before and she completely wrote him off.

The blood, however, was the worst part. She had thought he had learnt his lesson with the whole yellow eyes debacle, but apparently didn’t. And she felt like it was all her fault.

They were all hurting after Dean’s death, and Mercy most definitely didn’t handle it well. But she had had Gabe. Who did Sam have? No one, until that bitch Ruby came along and gave him support in the wrong way. Power never stopped grief. But Sam hadn’t known that.

* * *

 

Oh how her hand was itching. And for once, it wasn’t to whack one of her brothers’ head. She just really, really wanted to slog that pompous angel Uriel into next Sunday. He just rubbed her the wrong way, not to mention had no respect for anyone in the room.

She could kind of understand his reaction to her and her brothers. Winchesters were definitely not known for their respect and manners. But his general treatment to Castiel was so not on.

So she may have grown fond of the clueless angel over the course of the whole trying to save the world. So what, he was just another one to add to her little family.

They really needed a few more girls in the family of theirs. Honestly, there was only so much “manliness” that she, Ellen and Jo could deal with before losing it.

But back to the main issue, here they were, working their asses off trying to find the witch who was trying to summon some douche demon that would also break another seal. So yeah, she wasn’t quite so sure why this dick with wings was interrupting their research time to tell them to hurry up with research, counterproductive much?

God did her fist itch.

And then he called Sam an abomination. That bitch was going down.

It was safe to say that they all (other than her) were surprised when the punch connected and actually looked like it caused some sort of damage. Her left slugger had always been her pride and joy. The tubby angel glared at the female hunter in shock and hatred.

“How did you…?” Castiel asked, wide eyed at the scene.

Mercy smirked at the seething angel before her and shoved her face into his, leaving very little space between the two. If he felt so negative about “Mud-Monkeys” then a good old dose of “contamination” should really help rub that salt into the wounds.

“As luck would have it, my ring is made from the same stuff as your blades. I heard that stuff really stings you feathery bastards. No offence Cas.” And no offence Gabe, she thought.

“Now, you listen here you giant dick. My brother may have made some questionable choices in the past year, but I’ll have you know making mistakes is just what humans do. He is no more an abomination than you, because any asshole that thinks killing over a thousand people is just a means to an end really doesn’t have any say when it comes to others actions.”

Said asshole’s glare became progressively darker as she continued her little rant. A silver blade had appeared in his hand and it looked very much like he was going to use it happily.

“You Mud-Monkey-” He started.

“And we’re back to that crap! I’m sorry, but where does it say that angels are any better than humans. If I remember correctly, we were all created by the same being, so please do tell me that we’re anything but equal.”

Mercy knew she had said something wrong when Uriel loosened his grip on the blade and gave her a mocking grin. Feeling strangely small, she took a few steps back to stand with her brothers knowing they would fight with her.

“Those are strong words, for a human” he spat the word like it tasted foul, “who wasn’t even created by my father.”

And with that, the giant dick disappeared in a violent flutter of his wings.

The three humans simply stared where he once stood in shock and confusion before turning to the remaining angel for answers.

“Uriel was out of order telling you that. However, we cannot find any evidence if what he says is true or not.”

“No, you wait right there you douchebag!” Dean yelled, “What the hell did he mean by that?”

Sam also added his part, “It’s not possible to not be created by God, right? I mean, he created everything!”

Castiel tilted his head, most likely receiving whatever stupid order his superiors had for him now. This sent a flash of anger shoot through her. What were all the angels keeping from them, from her?

And if someone like Uriel knew about it, then Gabe would sure as hell know. So why hadn’t he told her? Was it really that bad that he didn’t want her to find out?

Mercy was brought back to the present as Castiel began to explain himself.

“We were given explicit orders not to tell you anything, but now that Uriel has gone against them, my superiors have decided that you are to know. In the simplest words, Mercy Winchester was never meant to be born; she was never supposed to exist. There is plan for which humans will exist and it has never been wrong before this.”

Mercy quickly found a seat before her legs could collapse under her. Just seconds ago she had felt strangely powerful, but how were supposed to react to being told something like that.

“How am I here then? If God never planned for me to exist, how am I here?!” She almost screamed.

She had finally found her place in the world to only find out that she was never supposed to be in it to begin with. She was never supposed to have her family, never meant to meet Gabe, and was never supposed to even be standing in that room at that moment in time.

“Talk about existential crisis.” She tried to joke, but it came out flat.

“We do not know.” Castiel spoke. “But your presence has created ripples in the universe that has my superiors concerned. We no longer know what the future holds.”

“So why haven’t you killed me yet?” She whispered. The alarmed looks from her brothers told her exactly how they felt about that subject.

Sam and Dean tensed and slowly reached for the amulets around their necks. Ready to resort to drastic action if need be.

“We do not know if that could lead to a worse fate.”

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t,

Mercy was getting sick of this now. If life kept giving her curve balls then she was going to give as “good” as she got.

Always think positive, Mercy thought, although it sounded suspiciously like Gabe. So think positive she was.

“Well, the answer to why I am here is simple.” The two men and one angel looked at her with curiosity. “I exist because I’m not supposed to. Who ever heard of a plan that went perfectly?”

Think positively and kick life in the ass. That was her new motto, and she was going to stick to it.

* * *

 

“You okay?” Dean said as he sat next to her on the bench. They watched the children play as she thought about it.

“For someone who was told that they shouldn’t exist? I’m doing alright.”

The look from her brother made her sigh and let go of the façade. Going back to old habits wasn’t going to do her a whole lot of good.

“Basically, it makes me wonder why I am here at all. But most people feel that way. The worst part is thinking about how the world would have been if I really hadn’t been here.”

“Sam and I would definitely be dead.” Dean stated it with such emotion that Mercy knew that he really felt that way.

“You’ve both already done that, so not much would change there. But that’s not what I meant. If I hadn’t been here, you would have had to look after Sam in my place. And that scares me.” She quickly continued when she saw Dean open his mouth. “Not that I mean you’d do any worse than me. But, no one deserves that, to be a kid and be responsible for such a small fragile thing. It scares me that my own little brother would have to go through all that at only four years old.”

“You did your best, and there’s something neither of us ever said. Sure, we always knew you shouldn’t have had to raise us and we did our best to protect you like you protected us. But we forgot something.” Dean put his arm around his sister’s shoulders and pulled her in for a strong hug.

“Thank you, for letting us just be kids. Thank you, for being there for us. Thank you, for protecting us.” Mercy looked up at Dean and felt his tears fall onto her face. His voice was shaking with the emotion and conviction of his words.

“Thank you, for being our sister.” He pulled her even closer.

“Thank you.”


	25. It's In The Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to have another chapter up. I have no excuses. But I hope you enjoy and any comments and kudos are welcome.

“…So… How long do you think this has been going on?” Mercy asked Sam blankly. The two of them were seemingly devoid of emotion, shocked to the point of forced acceptance. They were sat in the Impala, Sam in the driver’s seat with Mercy in the passenger, both staring at their motel room.

“No clue.” Sam replied, his voice equally blank.

“I really wish we hadn’t seen that.” Sam nodded in agreement. No one should ever have to suffer through seeing that kind of thing. “Why didn’t he get another room?”

Neither talked again after that; they simply looked ahead and tried desperately to not think about what happened and what could be potentially happening in there. But it was in vain, they had seen more of their brother than they ever wanted to. And seeing Cas like that. He was too innocent to ever think of like that.

Mercy felt a shiver run up her spine in disgust. She was all for adventurous sex, but there were lines and letting your siblings see it crossed it massively.

* * *

 

It had all started with the small break they allowed themselves to have, all the apocalypse business had been running them ragged. So it was high time they let themselves just do nothing for a couple of days.

So Mercy pointed to a small town they had once visited in their youth, she knew it would be perfect with all the old bars and diners that proclaimed to have the best pies in the state and the woodland and greenery. Granted the last part was for Castiel. He had “expressed a fondness” for nature and the critters that live there, so she thought that this would be the perfect place for him to just take it all in.

She wasn’t really sure why the angel’s superiors were allowing this constant interaction with the Winchesters and it made her apprehensive over what their motive could be, but she knew the new addition to the group had no idea why he had been stationed there. So she took solace in the fact that one angel was on their side.

Even if he was relaying all their actions to the (literal) higher ups.

And sure, they had noticed that Dean had been acting tense but had put it down to the whole world ending problem. Turns out they should’ve paid a little more attention to where the man was looking as it may have given them some sort of warning. But no, there were no clues other than the two generally partnered up for each of the hunts.

Though even that wasn’t obvious as the other two Winchesters couldn’t really partner with the angel; Mercy always went crazy when left alone with Cas, she stood by the reasoning that he was too innocent and cute to not mess with (Gabe gladly accepted responsibility for that), and putting Sam and Cas together just caused too much awkwardness to work properly (no one mentioned the demon blood, though they all thought about it).

Obviously this partnering gave them plenty of time to get to know each other and sort through their feelings (she hoped), which lead to Sam and Mercy stumbling in on the two after a food run.

Neither of the men noticed the siblings open the door and so Mercy and Sam were exposed to the naked bodies and loud moans to the full.

They had slammed the door shut immediately, but it hadn’t saved them from the mental scarring.

So a few moments later they ended up sitting in the impala wondering what the hell was going on. Mercy in particular was confused. Dean had never been interested in the same sex before, so what was different with Castiel?

“Seems you’re not the only one with a thing for angels,” Mercy spun around her seat in surprise, her hand gripping a gun, only to see her one and only husband sucking on some form of candy, lounging on the back seat. She let her shoulders relax and took a quick glance to see Sam passed out against the window.

Gabe raised an eyebrow at her, “Do you think it’s in the blood?”

“Hello to you too, Gabe,” She teased before letting a frown on her face, “What are you doing here? I thought it was too dangerous to be so close.”

The god/angel lazily waved off the question. “A few visits here and there won’t hurt anyone. But as much as I wish we could spend some time together,” He waggled his eyebrows before turning serious, “I’m here to give you some information.”

This caught her attention, Gabe rarely ever got serious, and she nodded for him to continue.

“Something’s been killing off angels, and it ain’t the demons ‘cause only the oldest demons could ever hope of even trying to kill one of us.”

Mercy clenched her fists in frustration. There always had to be something, they couldn’t have a few moments of peace. The couple reached out and lightly held hands to support each other, or maybe to have some contact after so long apart? Mercy didn’t know.

“The only thing that can kill an angel is an angel blade, and there have been no one’s missing there’s from what I’ve heard.” Gabe continued.

The two sat in silence as Mercy processed what she heard whilst keeping Gabe grounded. He may not have known many of the dead angels very well, but they were still his family and knowing that one of his brothers or sisters was killing the others must make things even worse.

The eldest Winchester sighed deeply, “Well this all went to shit, like it wasn’t bad enough already. What am I supposed to tell Cas?”

There was a slight pause before Gabe spoke again, “They should be finished in there now, just make sure you tell him soon. He may have an idea of who’s behind it.”

He placed a small kiss on Mercy’s cheek and vanished with a quiet flutter of the wings. The woman sighed again before slapping Sam’s leg to wake him up.

* * *

 

I could have done that better, Mercy thought to herself as she kept an eye on the despairing Castiel. They hadn’t said anything about the “scene” they had witnessed, leaving it to the men to sort out between them. Team Free Will, as Dean liked to call them, had more pressing matters to think about.

Like how they were going to stop whichever angel who thought that killing their siblings was in anyway acceptable. Well, the finding was going to be difficult, the stopping would be fairly simple with a bit of holy oil and Cas’s angel blade.

And if worst came to worst, they had an archangel up their sleeve. Not that the three males knew that but it was soothing all the same.

“Maybe one of the dicks decided that cracking open the cage was a good idea. You’ve heard how they talk about us, no offense Cas, but I really don’t think many angels would work that hard to keep the “Mud-monkeys” safe from total annihilation.” Dean suggested.

Cas looked at him confused, “I don’t understand, if you didn’t want to offend me then why did you say it?”

“Ignore him Cas.” Mercy groaned, “We just want to know if you know of any angels that are likely to do something like this? Like that douche Uriel or whatever?”

He shook his head slowly, most likely going over the possibilities in his head.

“I cannot think of any angels… Our purpose is to protect our father’s creations and to go against that would be…” The angel shook his head once again, seemingly lost for words.

“It’s not your fault Cas.” Dean spoke softly as he placed a caring hand on Castiel’s shoulder. Mercy had to blink a couple times to make sure she was seeing this correctly. Dean was never one to openly show how much he cared; it was rare even with his family and lead to be expressed in strange ways at times.

The angel nodded ever so slightly, obviously not believing it, but trying to. “I need some time to think on this.”

And with that the angel disappeared from the room with a flap of his wings. Mercy turned to see Dean staring where Cas was with a pained expression. She walked over to her brother and nudged him with her elbow, snapping him out of whatever he was thinking.

“Just let him deal with what he’s feeling. It can’t be easy. It would be like you finding out that I killed Sam, or vice versa.” The younger’s face stiffened at the thought and Mercy knew he didn’t want to think about it anymore.

She patted his arm and left him where he was. It was times like these that made her so frustrated. She couldn’t soothe all their fears and worries, not like she could when they were young.

* * *

 

“I killed Uriel.”

Mercy tried to slow her beating heart, the shock sending it racing. She was beginning to think these angels wanted her to have a heart attack. She turned to see a forlorn Castiel behind her, which was a bit creepy seeing as they were currently in the gas stations bathroom.

“Say that again now I’m not in danger of dying.”

Thank god he arrived as she was washing her hands. Any earlier and she would have not been impressed.

“I killed Uriel.” He spoke again. The poor angel looked so torn and beaten down; he was obviously feeling incredibly guilty.

“I’m assuming he was the one killing the other angels?” He nodded. “And you tried to convince him to stop?” Another nod. “Did he attack first?” A nod.

Mercy placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, not that she thought he understood the gesture but he looked to appreciate it all the same.

“’Then there is nothing to feel guilty about’ is what I would say. But I know that you still feel guilty no matter what I have to say. He was guilty of horrible crimes but he was still your brother and I know you still love him like the rest of your siblings even now.”

The pained expression told her she had got it in one. Mercy reached up and placed his face between her hands, giving Cas a stern look.

“So try not to think of the bad things he did, think of all the great times you had and all the great things he did. A man’s, or in this case an angel’s, worth can’t be measured only by the sins he committed alone. We all seem to forget that even evil can be capable of doing good deeds and the good capable of evil ones.”

She gave a small smile, “It’s up to you to decide which one he was.”

Castiel returned the smile with small tears in his eyes.

* * *

 

It took a few moments to compose themselves before they exited the bathroom, scaring a mother with a small child. Mercy ignored the glare they were given and dragged the emotional angel to the impala. The second Dean was in the angel’s sights, Cas let go and moved ahead to talk him.

Mercy wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but she was starting to get concerned with the amount of emotions Castiel was starting to show. He was becoming more human in that respect and it scared Mercy. The thought of Cas falling, no longer being connected to his family, most likely to be treated like a traitor by his brothers and sisters. She didn’t know if he could handle that, she didn’t know if she could if she was in his position.

She took a deep breath. Yes, everything was going to shit. Yes, none of them had any clue how to fix the problem. But you know what? She wasn’t going to let this put her down.

They were the fucking Winchesters (even Castiel) and that meant they were not going down without dragging their enemies down with them.


	26. Like She Didn't Have Enough Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's shorter than normal but i needed this chapter out the way before i can start on the whole lucifer part. But i hope you like it and the next chapter shouldnt be too much longer.  
> Kudos and Comments are always welcome and most definitely appreciated!

Chuck…… was an experience. The scrawny man seemed to flinch at everything and anything she did, and yet was at almost perfect ease with the others. Sure, he was extremely nervous no matter what happened, but she felt like he was particularly uneasy when it came to her.

He practically vaulted over the sofa when she had tried to calm him for God’s sake.

He made any excuse to stay away from her and kept at least one of the three others between them. She was agonising over what had made him hate her so much.

She had first assumed that it was something she was going to do in the future, being a hunter with loose morals (see supporting Loki/Gabe) is most likely going to get her into some nasty trouble. But then again, he seemed fine with Sam’s drinking problem and Dean’s escapades in hell.

So what was his deal?

Mercy sat herself in the corner, as far away from the prophet as she could, and watched the man carefully. She was definitely not sulking or glaring, no matter the looks her brothers were giving her.

She gazed hard for almost half an hour, the men discussing what was going on the whole time, and hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary. She was starting to think it was all for naught and Chuck just couldn’t deal with women-

**What was that?**

Mercy felt her body shoot alert. Her muscles tensing, blood pulsing, breath slowing and her mind and eyes working at the speed of light.

She stared harder, just daring Chuck to do it again, to prove that she wasn’t seeing things and there was more to this than she thought.

There had been a fraction of a second, only a fraction mind you, when the man seemed to completely change. No one else seemed to have been looking as he suddenly straightened and acquired a more confident and relaxed expression on his face and in his body language; the nervous, stuttering Chuck all but disappearing to make room for this complete opposite.

Though she only saw it for a moment.

But she knew what she saw and it scared her. He was obviously not a monster they ever dealt with, nor was he an angel or else Cas would have realised. He wasn’t a pagan god, that much she knew, Gabe had given her a bracelet that would heat up if a god was nearby. (For her protection)

There was a moment when the two made eye contact and he **winked** at her. She balked at him for a moment and tried to restart her brain.

What was she thinking about again? Something to do with Chuck?

Huh, she had heard some people could forget whatever they were thinking about, but this was the first time it had happened to her. A bit disconcerting.

She mentally shrugged. If she forgot then it mustn’t have been important, so she decided enough was enough and they all needed time to soak all this up.

* * *

 

If there was something that she hated more than the dicks with wings, it would be being kidnapped by said fuckers.

She glared at the perfectly intact wall in hatred. Like it had done her a great wrong, and in truth that was exactly what happened.

When she had been dumped in this barren, cramped and dark room she had ranted and raged and attacked the wall with the only object in the room with her…. A refilling metal mug of water. Why metal? She didn’t know. What she did know was that they didn’t want her dead and that the fucking room had no door. Also any mess of damage was automatically fixed.

 Including. The. Fucking. Wall.

She had beaten and battered the thing with everything she had for what felt like hours but ultimately was just left tired, sweaty and even more pissed off because the hole that had been starting no longer existed.

She jumped to her feet in a fit of frustration, a growl escaping her mouth. She paced back and forth in the room. It had nothing at all, nothing to entertain her, nothing to figure out where she was, nothing to let her know how the others were.

And most importantly, nothing to get the hell out of there with.

She had been in there for, what she assumed was, hours. Hours since she had last seen anything outside the walls, and it was driving her insane.

“Oh will you just show yourselves you fucking assholes!”

Of course, no one came.

She fell to her knees and sobbed with her face to the floor.

* * *

 

Gabe was close to killing someone. He knew that, the Winchesters knew that, hell even Chuck knew that. And the longer it took to locate his wife the closer he was getting to that point.

He had come without a second thought when both the amulets the brothers had, were activated. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting; an army of demons; or too many angels with the wrong idea about Mercy; maybe even Lucifer himself. He did not expect a prophet and a couple of distraught Winchesters. And, of course, no Mercy.

He had trusted the hunters to warn him the second something seemed amiss and lo and behold they waited until she was gone before contacting him.

Gabriel cursed at himself. It wasn’t their fault, the angels were resorting to cheap tactics and they were only human after all and had no chance against an angel.

They had acted when Castiel was out, there was no one to warn them, and no one to help fight. Gabe sometimes really wished that the angels weren’t so smart yet stupid at the same time.

He could not sense Mercy or her ring and it was sending him all over the place. Hell, he didn’t know archangels could have mood swings or frazzled brains; and yet here he was, going out of his mind with worry. And then, just to make everything worse, he lost track of the rest of the family whilst looking for Mercy.

The angels couldn’t know about him, so that meant they still saw him as a threat as “Loki”, so they were going to be careful. Gabriel screamed in anger. He was supposed to be an all-powerful archangel. He should have this much trouble finding the people he was closest to. And yet he was breaking the promise he made.

The promise to always protect her.

A tear escaped his eye, making him snarl in disgust. There was no time to feel sorry for himself, who knew what kind of danger Mercy was in at that very second.

He had to find her.

* * *

 

Mercy tapped the floor to create a weak tapping sound. She was trying to create some kind of a beat to ground her mind to reality. Only her finger moved; the rest of her had lost strength not too long after her break down and left her strewn across the floor, unable to move anything but the slow finger that was still tapping away with an imaginary beat.

“Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better”

The sounds came from her mouth, slow and raspy, so weak but still whispering the song. It was just out of timing with the faint tapping.

“Hey Jude, don't be afraid  
You were made to go out and get her  
The minute you let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better”

Her voice cracked in all the words, especially the long or high notes. It was a song that was supposed to be sung loud and strong to promise all was going to be well soon. But her voice and mind would not let her, she now sang it as more of a comfort than proof of her not giving up.

“And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder”

She always wondered why her mother liked to sing this song when anyone was feeling down. It wasn’t the most soothing song and the lyrics rarely fit the problem at hand.   


“Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah”

It almost sounded like she was laughing weak and bitter. She wasn’t sure that she wasn’t and it scared her. She knew that her mind was a fragile thing and wondered if this would be the last straw to make it all go snap.

“Hey Jude, don't let me down  
You have found her, now go and get her  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better”

She really missed Gabe, and Sam and Dean and Bobby and Ellen and Jo. Hell, she was even missing grouchy old Rufus and his sharp words. That man was always an arse but he was charming in his own way.

“So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin  
You're waiting for someone to perform with  
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do  
The movement you need is on your shoulder  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah yeah”

She missed her mom and her dad. She missed them all, all the past relationships, all the forgotten friendships, all the poor victims that had to learn about their world in the worst way.

“Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her under your skin  
Then you'll begin to make it  
Better better better better better better, oh

Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude”

 

She just wanted to curl up with Gabe and make fun of the religious documentaries and the paranormal videos. Maybe have Dean groan on the other sofa about them watching “crappy shows” and for Sam to scowl fondly at his brother. Have Castiel question how humans managed to come up with these strange interpretations of past events. They would all laugh and just continue doing mundane things.

 

She would watch her brothers leave for a hunt and welcome them back once they were done. Gabe would prank them all and it would cause an all-out prank war which would probably end up with her at the butt of all their jokes.

 

A perfect life was great for soothing your mind.

“Oh Mercy,” a whisper came from about her, but she couldn’t open her eyes enough to see who it was. “I promise, I’m not leaving your side ever again.”

* * *

 

“So the apocalypse has started.” Mercy stated blankly, staring at the white walls of the hospital room. White was a much better colour than the murky brown from that place. She liked it very much.

She wondered if Gabe would like their bathroom white, and maybe their room too.

“Yeah. Everything’s gone to shit. The devil’s out of his cage which means the demons will start more activity, and the angels are after our asses.”

A moment of silence covered the room. They stared awkwardly at each other, shifting when it got too much. But like a snap, the two men and two angels started their apologise all at the same time.

Their voices overlapped and made it impossible to distinguish what each were saying.

Mercy took a deep breath. “Will you speak one at a time!”


	27. I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, another chapter for you all. Sorry it's a bit shorter than usual but i hope you like it. To all Sam fans out there, I'm really sorry, but it had to be done.  
> Anyway, Kudos and Comments are always welcome.
> 
> Enjoy!

Mercy stared at the males in the hospital room, unblinking. They didn’t take any notice, simply talking about how to kill the devil. Apparently they had got word that a demon had possession of the colt (how they got that information she did not know, nor did she want to), they managed to find the name and where it lived when topside.

The only problem was that it was Crowley.

They had met when she was in her early twenties and dealing with two hormonal teens as brothers. She wanted a night out and left Dad (who was in between hunts at the time) in charge hoping that he would spend some quality time with the boys for once.

So she borrowed a friend from work’s dress, had said friend’s help with applying some make-up, grabbed the money she had been saving for such an occasion, and drove to the closest half way decent restaurant for a “fancy” night out.

They had met thanks to the staff messing up with the booking and accidently ended up with the two together. Looking back on it now, Mercy realised that the demon had only gone along with the flow because he thought that a girl eating on her own would be easy pickings for a deal.

Long story short, Mercy enjoyed her night, didn’t sell her soul, and never realised that the nice British man was anything other than that. They didn’t see each other again after that until Gabe decided “they just had to meet”.

Mercy didn’t think she’d ever be more grateful for holy water than in that moment.

Now she knew Gabe didn’t have the greatest past, or present really, and that it reflected in his friends. But she didn’t really expect the angel to be close with the king of the crossroads; then again Gabe rarely did things by halves…

Mercy blinked herself back to the present and loudly cleared her throat, getting the attention of the arguing trio.

“I know where to find Crowley.”

“Why didn’t you say that before?!” Sam looked up, most likely asking for some kind of patience.

Mercy narrowed her eyes, “Maybe if you three had let me get a word in edge wise then this would have been over much sooner.”

“Right then,” Dean interrupted, “So where do we need to go.”

* * *

 

It was now dark and the Winchesters had decided to wait until the next day before storming Crowley’s mansion. Sure, they weren’t too pleased with her knowing him being the protective little shits they were, but they were getting to the point that she could know God and they wouldn’t be surprised.

“You feeling okay?” Mercy asked gently to the sulking back of her brother.

Sam lifted his head to give her a pained smile. Her heart clenched painfully and, not for the first time, she wished she hadn’t distanced herself so much and didn’t feel so lost when it came to her brothers’ problems.

“Mercy, remember when I used to tell you everything? And no matter what was wrong, you made it completely disappear?” he said, wistfully.

She made a sound of agreement as she moved to sit next to him on the bench. Tears threatened to make an appearance when Sam didn’t move to close the space between them, but she respected his wishes all the same.

“I miss those times.” His voice was quiet, as if this was a secret only she could know.

The small breeze blew passed them, mussing Sam’s hair. Mercy ran her hand through her hair, a habit she had picked up just after cutting her hair. She let the silence give her time to think on how to respond.

“I don’t.” she declared. Mercy smiled kindly at the confused face she was given. “I quite like the men my cheeky little brothers grew up into.”

“But-” She cut him off swiftly.

“Don’t give me crap about the demon blood. You’re not the only person in the world who has gotten in with the ‘Bad Crowd’. And before you say anything, I know the blood isn’t the same as normal drugs, but it left you in the same state didn’t it. We’ve all made mistakes, some worse than others. Do you really think I’ve got a squeaky clean record?”

“Can’t be worse than me.” he muttered.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, “I was addicted to sex, still am, and if you think Dean is bad then you should have seen me back in my hay day. Not even getting raped set me off the stuff, I loved it too much and any money I got from it was a bonus. I was so desperate for attention….God how fucked up is that.” She put her face in her hands and rubbed fiercely, “Fuck I’m getting off topic.”

This is about Sam, not you. She reminded herself.

“What I’m trying to say is that you made a stupid mistake, but it’s not the end of the world.” She paused for a second and Sam snorted, “Okay, bad choice of words. But you have to listen to me, we’re all fucked up in different ways and Ruby just did the typical demon shtick and exploited yours.”

“Is that really supposed to help me?” Sam’s voice came out rough and tense. His body was shaking and his eyes were frightening. “Who cares if you are a nymphomaniac? How has that got anything to do with me? I started the goddamn apocalypse and your telling me that it’s just a simple mistake?!”

He abruptly stood up, his voice had raised to a roar and shocked the woman into silence. He violently whirled to face her, subconsciously using his height to intimidate her.

“You don’t understand! How could you?! I didn’t just make a mistake, I did everything I shouldn’t have! I thought I knew everything and wouldn’t listen to anyone, I didn’t have my head messed with or any of the other excuses you want to make up! I followed Ruby knowing full well of the risks, thinking that my powers would be able to defeat everything!”

The yelling was quickly replaced by Sam’s panting, a white mist puffing through the cold night.

Mercy’s eyes shot up when she heard a soft chuckle coming from her brother. His laugh slowly gained volume and lost all sense of sanity. The chilling cackles echoed through the dark, making the night seem so much more sinister than it was only moments before.

“And you know what?” His words were broken up by the erratic bursts of guffaws. “This is all thanks to you.”

In a flash Mercy was standing in her brother’s space, her body taught with furious anger, mouth set in a deep frown and her eyes colder than anything Sam had seen before.

“Don’t you go blaming this on me Sam, don’t shove it all on me and think it a job well done.” Her voice sounded empty. There was none of the anger that her body betrayed.

But Sam paid no heed to her thinly veiled threat. He moved ever closer and shoved his face into hers, goading her and testing the limits of her restraint.

“Yet you were the one who didn’t care that one of her brothers was in hell and the other one was left to mourn alone. Vulnerable to anything that might want to take advantage of him! You were the one that decided to leave me to suffer without any support!”

A sharp edge worked its way into her voice as she lost grip on her patience.

“That was not my fault Sam. I’ve already told you-”

“That being together would be a bad idea?” He let out a single mocking laugh towards the stars above. “No, you were being selfish. You just wanted to play happy families with some fucking pagan monster and forget that Dean and I ever existed!”

“Don’t you patronise me about selfishness Sam!” Mercy shoved a hard finger into his chest, and let a shot of glee shoot through her at the sight of his wince. “I’m not the one whining about being all left alone! I’m not sure if you could tell, y’know with your head shoved so far up your ass, but I was suffering too. I’m sorry for putting myself first for once and actually grieve for my little brother.”

“Did you think it was easy for me Sam? Do you think I wanted to lose either of you? Do you think I spent those months in fairy tale land?”

“And what about me?!” He bellowed, “Why did I have to be the one left alone? Why did you leave me to rot away without any support? If you had just been there for me then this whole Apocalypse wouldn’t be happening right now!”

“That’s enough.”

The two hunters shot to face the newcomer, weapons at the ready the second the presence was noticed.

“Gabe?”

“What do you want Loki?”

The answering disapproving look told them all they needed to know. He had heard the argument and was here to protect his wife.

The youngest Winchester snorted in mirth. “Of course you’d get territorial over what’s yours.” He slowly began to walk back to the motel room. “Hope that freak of yours is worth it Mercy.”

The couple watched in a mix of anger and sadness as the back of Sam Winchester disappeared around the corner.

Gabe’s arms snaked around her middle and he rested his head on her shoulder. In response she moved her head to accommodate his and leaned back into the warm embrace.

“He shouldn’t have said those things to you.” The angel grumbled almost childishly into her shoulder. But she could hear the hidden rage behind the words, promising to do unspeakable things to Sam the second she showed even a hint of agreeing to it.

“That wasn’t Sam.” She said simply, a strain of sorrow still lingering in her voice.

Gabe growled in her ear, “Don’t make excuses for him. He doesn’t deserve them.”

Mercy chuckled softly and placed a hand on his head, gently patting his hair in an attempt to calm the irate Archangel/god before he decided to smite her youngest brother from existence.

“I’m not making excuses Gabe, he didn’t mean anything he said, he just needed to let off some steam.”

“Still sounds like excuses.” He sighed, his hot breath tickling her neck and making goose-bumps rise across her shoulder and arm. In retaliation she jerked on a lock of his hair.

“He’s stressed and tired and feels like everything is his fault. It’s only natural that he’d blow up. So he screamed at the one person who wouldn’t leave him no matter what he said.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to.” She kissed the side of Gabe’s forehead and placed her on his to rest. The closeness giving back her strength and energy with every breath they both took.

“You’re too nice to them.” He continued to grumble. A tender smile appeared on her face.

“I know. But that’s one of the things you love about me.”

“If you say so.” He mumbled as he nuzzled closer into her neck. She pinched his arm for the cheek before kissing his forehead.

“I love you too Gabe. Now, I need a good night sleep and that bed of ours is just singing to me.

With a snap of his fingers, they were gone.


	28. Gear Up Guys, We're Going to War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the author finally find time and inspiration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry about the late update. School's being a bitch, but i think i've gotten back in the swing of things and should be updating more regularly (but dont expect it to be a week at a time) and just as an additional apology, i've added a little extra at the end for you all.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Any kudos and comments will be much appreciated.

“Mercy,”

“Crowley,” She greeted back to the British demon, neither looking too pleased with the other as they stared.

The tense atmosphere grew with each passing moment, the only sound being the Winchester boys and the demon lackeys shuffling uncomfortably under the increasing pressure. Both sides were more than equipped enough kill the other and they all knew it, should the signal be sent it would be difficult to tell who would get out alive. It all depended upon Mercy or Crowley to make the first, most crucial, move before the blood could start flying.

“I see you’re still angry about the whole setting fire to your kitchen. Really dear, you should be glad that was all that was burnt.”

“And you’re obviously still pissed about me killing your pets.” She placed a hand on her hip and gave an unimpressed look to her opponent.

“Underlings,” Crowley politely corrected. “The poor dears are against being called anything relating to animals.”

Mercy scoffed loudly, glancing dismissively at the three bristling black-eyed demons behind the Crossroads King.

“I didn’t think there would be a workers association for demon _underlings_ of all things. Honestly Crowley, you’re too soft on them.”

“You’re the last person I want to hear demon handling tips from, _Hunter_.”

Silence once again reigned supreme, the other’s patience crumbling under the pressure of anticipation. The woman and king battled with their eyes, neither willing to give the other any ground.  They stood carefully poised, ready for an attack at any second, yet deceptively calm as they searched for any weaknesses.

Without as much as a warning, the two shot forwards. Their hands met in the middle with a loud and friendly shake, effectively dissolving the tense atmosphere to make way for the familiar (if not confused) feeling of friendliness to permeate the office.

“It’s good to see you again Mercy, though I would have preferred it if it were not under such circumstances. You have to have some of the worst timing I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah, sorry about that Crowles, you’ll have to save that bottle of scotch for the next time. I promise to make you a cake the next time we have a chat.”

“That’s if either of us actually survives the apocalypse.”

The Winchester brothers simply shook their heads with a deep sigh. Mercy had said she was friends with the demon, though they really weren’t expecting something like that. They actually felt sorry for the demon underlings as said creatures stared in disbelief at the oblivious duo who were conversing over the large desk.

* * *

 

“I heard you had the colt.” Mercy started as she made herself comfortable on the leather chair.

The direct route was always best when it involved Crowley, she didn’t have a chance in Hell to one up the demon in double talking or whatever it’s called. As painful as it was to admit, the demon was skilled in controlling conversations to suit him and she really wasn’t in the mood for her mind to be royally messed around with.

“You heard correctly. I have the Colt, and the remaining bullets that go with it.” He poured two glasses of wine as he spoke, her favourite, if the bottle was to be believed. “I’m assuming you know of the conditions for me to give this to you.”

Mercy took a moment to take a sip of the alcohol. It wasn’t something she really had often, much preferring the ‘harder’ liquor to wine, but even she could tell the high quality. Obviously the wine was older than she anticipated, older than the company usually sells it.

“Don’t use it on you, or your pets and underlings, and kill the Devil. I’m guessing the Prince of Darkness is putting a decent dent in business if you’re not even going to make me work for the gun.”

“Hah, he thinks of you humans as fleshy bags of puss, what do you think he feels about demons? The so called corrupted human souls? In his eyes we are worse than you, which says much about our survival, or rather the lack of it.”

“Sucks to be you, huh? Now, any clue where Satan will be appearing?”

* * *

 

“I’m starting to feel something.”

Mercy laughed at the incredulous look on Ellen’s face. Obviously the woman hadn’t believed her when she said angels don’t get drunk easily, if at all. The glare Mercy was given in retaliation was promptly ignored in favour of stealing one of the older woman’s shots for herself and she made sure to savour the dull burn as it made its way down.

She quickly got herself out of there, not wanting to stick around for the wrath of Ellen, and headed towards the wheelchair bound Bobby. He nodded in greeting and then looked back at the camera in his hand.

“What’s that, Bobby?” Mercy asked as she sat on the man’s desk, beer bottle in hand.

“What does it look like, use your eyes, you idjit?”

Mercy blinked at the sharp response before grinning like a loon. Of course Bobby wouldn’t let a thing such as the impending apocalypse bring him down. She always did love his ability to crack witty comments no matter the occasion. There was a memorable time that involved a ghost, werewolf and a vampire… well, she shook her head. No use looking back.

“I think it looks like your secret porn stash, but I can’t be too sure.” She quipped back.

The man only sighed in response. He really should have expected that from a Winchester, especially the older ones, Mercy thought. She snatched the camera out of his hand and went snooping through the past pictures before he could take it back.

She paused at the first picture that showed. It was of the three siblings, obviously unaware as they played some form of card game, which Sam was apparently winning by the looks of desolation on the older siblings’ faces. She remembered that night; Sam’s smug grin didn’t leave for hours after that embarrassing loss.

Mercy continued to look through them, not noticing that Bobby was just watching her face, and showing no sign of taking the machine back.

There were hundreds in the thing, all of the three Winchesters (sometimes four) and a few with the Harvell’s appearing in the later dated ones. She could remember a few moment starkly, others not so much. But they all had one thing in common… They were smiling. There wasn’t a trace of an unhappy face among the many photos.

Tears threatened to make their way into existence as she continued to flick through them, only to end back where she began far too soon.

“Bobby…” she began.

“Shush up kid, now grab the rest of the family. I’m gonna need something to remember all your sorry asses by. In fact, go call that bastard of a god you call a husband, he may as well be in it too.”

Something tugged in her chest at his declaration. They were a family, no matter how dysfunctional; he saw them all as a family.

“You heard him Gabe, come down for one last commemorative photo.” She whispered to the air, knowing he’d hear. He always did.

The arms wrapping around her was enough of an answer.

“Don’t worry, Castiel won’t sense me.” Was murmured into her ear. Mercy nodded in return and pulled him into the forming line next to Bobby’s desk.

“Before any of you say anything, let me just say this one thing.” Mercy declared as they all stood facing the camera. “No matter what happens tomorrow, we’ve had a good run of life, and I’ll be perfectly happy to die by any of your sides.”

* * *

 

“I wasn’t aware you were acquainted with Loki. You are aware he has killed thousands since he came to be?”

Mercy couldn’t stop the small giggle from escaping her mouth as Castiel eyed up her husband. There was obviously some form of tension between the two religions or pantheons or whatever they were called.

Mercy sidled up to Gabe’s side and placed a hand on his chest as he tucked a hand around her waist. She had long ago gotten over her surprise of how well they fit together and now only revelled in the comfort his presence gave.

“I’d like to think we’re a bit more than acquainted seeing as I am married to this wonderful woman here.” Gabe kissed the side of her head just to lay it on that much more thickly.

There was a pause in activity as Castiel physically looked to be having difficulty computing the information and continued to stare at the married couple as it slowly sank in.

“Oh.” Was all the reply he gave before walking off to join Dean in the kitchen.

Mercy couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the two men simply enjoying each other’s company, though she knew Cas would end up questioning the middle Winchester about her and ‘Loki’s’ relationship.

“Don’t you dare do anything stupid tomorrow.” Gabe stressed as he pulled Mercy’s head to lie on his chest. He held her tightly and placed a long kiss to her head, the short hair obscuring his face to the rest of the room.

She knew he was scared. Hell, she was too. But they both knew the chances of her dying were huge. She wasn’t needed in the great scheme of things, and as such will be the one either side will use as bait of incentive for the boys, if they don’t kill her outright to save themselves any trouble. She was in the worst possible situation, but then again, so were Ellen and Jo.

She sighed deeply, “Only if you promise on both our lives not to come, no matter what.”

“Mercy-”

“No Gabe.” She cut in. “I will not let you go against Lucifer, not in a thousand years. He will kill you without hesitation; can you say you’ll do the same to him? Because I don’t think you can, you love him just as much as I love my brothers, so I know you will end up hesitating and he will use that against you. I will not let you go.”

-

Mercy watched as her brothers went off to try to contact the police or some such, worry tensing her body as she absentmindedly traced the symbol of protection tattooed on her arm.

“Cas.” Mercy called out to the angel.

Said angel turned to her with a confused expression (or was that just his normal expression?).

“I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say that I’m really not supposed to be able to see these pale as hell bastards?”

The fearful looks she got in returned was all the answer she needed.

“Reapers.” Cas confirmed with a nod. His body tenser than she had ever seen.

They were everywhere, looking as though they were at a funeral as they all stared off in the same direction. Pale as fucking hell, old and creepy looking reapers filling the streets and not giving her a good vibe in the slightest.

“Does that mean…” Jo started before cutting herself off.

“There’s a chance it is simply because of your connection to the Pagan.” Cas spoke, not sounding overly confident.

Yeah, Mercy thought, it must be because of Gabe. I mean, hanging around (and on) an archangel for so long must have some form of an effect on a person. That has to be the reason. She promised Gabe after all…

However…

“Looks like my time is nearly up.” Mercy spoke, hoping to god that she was wrong. But, if she was to die that day, she was going to do it with dignity and make sure to bring some of the sons of bitches down with her.

 

* * *

 

** *extra* **

“I love you.” Gabe whispered in her ear. The sound of his husky morning voice caused shivers to run up her spine. The murmur gently passed over her ear and swayed the short hairs that curled around said ear. Goosebumps spread through her body adding an extra layer to the pleasant shivers that warmed her to her core.

The two were basking in the warmth of each other as they woke from, arguably, one of the best night’s sleep either of them had had in weeks. Gabe was the bigger spoon, as usual, with Mercy’s scar filled back to him. The angel had his arms wrapped lightly around the human’s waist and a leg hooked with a smaller, softer one. His face only inches from the dark hair of his lover’s.

The woman was curled around the hand on her stomach, almost as if she was trying to protect the appendage in her sleep. Yet, at the same time, she was as close to her husband as humanly possible, making sure that any available skin was connected to the other in some way.

A natural glow seemed to blanket the two, making the scene all that much warmer, and both had a look of peace on their sleepy faces. Mercy snuggled ever deeper into the safety of the bed she was sure was made of clouds. If perfection did exist, then this had to be it. Screw heaven and the “Eternal Paradise”, Mercy had found her place in the universe, and dear God did she not want to leave.

A slimy tongue ran along her neck jolting her out of her near sleep state. The sudden coolness of the saliva was uncomfortable and shocked her from the contented heat she had just been praising.

Mercy groaned groggily, “I know you do. Just like I know that you’re only doing this to annoy me.”

She squirmed at the feeling of Gabe’s snort on the back of her neck, tickling the small cluster of soft hair spread across the tanned skin. The angel pulled her closer to his body, if it were even possible. He took a deep breath, taking in her scent as he continued to revel in her presence. The hand he had on her stomach absently traced the ancient protection symbol tattooed there as he pressed his face in the corner of her shoulder. He pressed his face into the junction between her neck and shoulder and nuzzled much like a puppy.

Mercy laughed at the man’s actions, and jokingly cursed his stubbornness.

“Alright, alright.” She gently pulled away and twisted around to face the sulking pagan.

Her eyes filled with love as she stared up into hazel eyes and marvelled at the perfection of the males face. Of course she knew he wasn’t really perfect, in fact the fact that his earlobes were huge really bugged Mercy sometimes, but she knew that seeing his faults just solidified the fact that she hadn’t been blinded by love, or any of the other stupid things that meant she had made a mistake.

“I love you too.”

They shared a small smile for a few minutes before losing the battle and started laughing manically at each other. With their foreheads pressed together it only made it all that much funnier. They had wide grins, wide enough to see plenty of teeth. Somehow, between each chuckle the two slipped in a quick peck or three.

“You two honestly make me sick.”

Within seconds, Mercy was kneeling on the covers with a knife and a gun full of iron bullets in each hand. Her face was set firm and her eyes grew harder with each passing second. Her breath was controlled despite the rapid movement only moments before.

Gabe, on the other hand, was still reclined in the bed, looking as though this was completely normal. The duvet was conveniently placed just on his navel, leaving only the naked chest of the god showing. He gave a cheeky grin and swirled the glass of red wine he suddenly summoned.

“Hiya Crowles!”

Mercy relaxed her grip on the weapons when the full realisation of who it was sunk in. Her eyes widened and fire seemed to creep up through her chest, up her throat and spread across her face. She quickly dropped her weapons and reached behind her blindly grabbing hold of her replacement weapon, and just threw.

… Silence flowed through the bedroom.

Many things had been thrown at him throughout both his life and death.

Knives, bullets, holy water, salt, there was even that memorable time when he had a grenade lobbed at him.

So it was safe to say Crowley was well versed in having things thrown at him, but never before had anyone have the audacity to throw a bloody _pillow_ at him. It was like an insult to his very villainous self to be hit with something as pre-teen as a fucking pillow!

Where was the good old fashioned silver cross? Or even Holy Water?

Mercy screamed, “What the hell do you think you are doing? Do you not have any decency?!”

The demon scoffed and rolled his eyes as he kicked away the projectile with vicious glee.

“Honestly Darling, it’s not as if I haven’t seen you naked before.”

The screams that followed would surely haunt the inhabitants of the apartment complex for years to come.


	29. Jesus Christ It's The Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, as promised. Here's another chapter. Like i said previously, I am so sorry for the delay. But I hope you enjoy.  
> Please leave a kudos or comment if you did (or didn't). It's always nice to hear your thoughts on the story.

Her breath ripped through her mouth and her legs burned as Mercy ran around the shop, looking for something, anything, to staunch the bleeding on Jo’s left side. Running her hands across everything she came across, Mercy frantically scanned every level, leaving nothing unchecked.

“Mercy, now would be a great time to find something!” Ellen near enough screamed in desperation. Said woman glanced over her shoulder to fill with dread at the frighteningly ashen complexion of the youngest hunter.

“I’m looking! It’s not like we chose the best shop to hide in!” Mercy shouted back. Frustration building with each useless item she came across.

“I’ve reached Bobby!” Dean shot over the panicked women.

A vicious bark caused Mercy’s steady hands to flinch at the unneeded reminder of the imminent danger on the other side of the salt lines. She cursed under her breath and continued to race through the aisles.

No.

No.

No.

Not that either.

Shit.

No.

“Fuck yes!” Mercy screamed when her hand came into contact with travel sized sewing pack. A quick glance at the next shelf gave her a handful of Tooth Floss and she sped back to the two other women on the floor.

With practiced hands, the tattooed woman bent the needle, thread the floss through the eye and began stitching the flesh back together. She ignored the whimpers of pain and the whispered reassurances, and focussed solely on the task at hand.

Blood quickly coated her hands and soaked the hems of her plaid shirt as she began; the sight of red blood, yellow fat and pink flesh barely registering from the years of seeing the same beneath her own skin. She hadn’t a clue if the blonde had any internal or organ damage and just hoped that her stitches would be enough.

Her hands steady and eyes hard as she pushed the curved needle in and out of the skin, almost rhythmically, hypnotising.

She quickly cut the floss once the first (and largest) gouge had been closed and wasted no time moving onto the next. Mercy silently thanked god that there were only three wounds and that they were distantly placed apart.

The second was trickier as, unlike the first, it veered into another direction almost half way down, and left a flap of skin to dangle uselessly, too torn to be of use in the stitching. She had just about finished it when her ears pricked up.

“You need explosives?” She questioned, eyes never leaving her hands. She didn’t wait for an answer before pulling out a couple of grenades from under her shirt and shoving them in the directions of her brothers. “There should be plenty of crap in here to set up a trip wire trap.”

“Mercy I love you so much.” Dean exclaimed before pulling a wide eyed Sam to set up said trap.

Ellen snorted as she continued to pet her daughters head in an attempt to calm her. “You carry around explosives, but not a first aid pack?”

Mercy ignored the accusing tone of the older woman, acknowledging that the mother was simply stressed and scared at the thought of losing her daughter. The only family she had left.

“I did have one, but the hairy fucking piles of hell shit out there tore it off me.” Mercy spoke as she pulled the last stitch tight. In no time, she had ripped her top layer to shreds and wrapped the wounds.

“Done. Now Jo, is there any chance you can walk, even if you need support?”

Mercy couldn’t say she wasn’t expecting the shake of the girls head, but it sure wasn’t what she wanted. She could hear the tell-tale sounds of the boys finishing the salt bomb trap and took a deep breath.

No choice then.

“Ellen, help me get Jo on my back.”

The injured blonde weakly fought back, trying to explain that she wasn’t going to survive anyway and they may as well leave her there to make sure the mutts were taken care of.

“I’ll only slow you down. I’m a liability you can’t afford to have. I’m going to die anyway.”

Mercy growled deep in her throat, sick of the girl’s weak excuses. She grabbed Jo’s chin and forced her to look into her eyes, forcing the blonde to understand.

“Jo. Look at me. I am not going to leave you to die here; you’d have a better chance of convincing your mother. Now listen. There are no Reapers anywhere near you; do you know what that means?”

More tears were added to the tsunami raging down Jo’s face. Mercy took a deep sigh of relief as the girl nodded and began to hook herself onto the elder’s back, looking like a sick sloth, dark circles around the eyes included.

The eldest Winchester clenched her jaw as she stood, unwilling to show any sign of strain under the dead weight despite her muscles groaning. Ellen grabbed the guns and supplies, taking the burdens of the two younger women as her own.

“Boys! Now would be a great time to get out of here!” Ellen shouted over the rising noise of hellhounds getting closer and closer to entering.

“We’re all done.” Sam called as the two men made their way towards the women. The four healthy and relatively unburdened hunters surrounded the two huntresses as the group progressed to the roof.

Mercy desperately tried to control her breathing, thankful that Jo had passed out as she would have definitely noticed Mercy’s exhaustion. Her joints were becoming liquid and her muscles screaming to drop the excess weight, not that she ever would; even if it cost her life. She couldn’t even consider the thought of asking one of the others to carry Jo, they were the heavier hitters compared to her. And with the way her legs were shaking, they’d be better shots if anything did appear.

*BOOMFSH*

Mercy stumbled slightly at the shockwave, grinning when her ears cleared enough to detect the whimper and whines of the hellhounds mixed within the rain of glass and debris.

“Try chasing us now, you fucking mutts.” Mercy muttered under her breath, staggering to keep up with the rest of the group.

* * *

 

It didn’t take long to get to the Impala, apparently the explosion was larger and more distracting than they had anticipated. A strange coincidence, not that Mercy was going to tempt fate. Nor lady luck for that matter.

The situation was bad enough without her provoking the manipulators of life.

“Get Jo to a hospital as soon as possible.” Mercy ordered as she placed said injured girl into the back of the Impala. “My stitches aren’t gonna hold for long, and god only know what kind of infection she’s managed to pick up from those hounds.”

“Got it.” Ellen replied, not bothering to be offended. “You three sure you’re gonna be fine?”

“Don’t you worry Ellen. You just make sure Jo gets help.” Dean spoke confidently despite the situation.

“We’ll handle it from here.” Sam added.

The woman gave a long and hard look at the three Winchesters, before getting into the car, obviously seeing the determination they all held.

“Kick it in the ass. Don’t miss.” Were her parting words.

The three turned, trusting the Harvells to look after themselves as they made their way to the literal King of Hell.

Jesus Christ, Mercy thought, what has my life become?

* * *

 

Mercy could feel her heart pounding, racing as she held her body taught, forcing her body to relax ever so slightly, ready for anything. She, along with her brothers, took slow measured steps with a gun secure in the hold of both hands.

Deep breaths, she reminded herself.

A quick glance at Sam and Dean told Mercy everything she needed. Like her, their brows were furrowed in a mix of concentration and fear, a deep frown on both their faces which she was sure they weren’t aware of.

There was a slight tremor to Sam’s walk, but she was reassured by his steady hands. Likewise with Dean.

In a moment of fear filled randomness, Mercy had to liken their approach to a trio of wolves stalking towards a great brown bear. Instincts howling at them to leave, run and never return, because this was a beast they had very little chance against.

But they were hunters. They couldn’t turn tail and run from a threat this large.

The three Winchesters flinched violently at the harsh shlick of a shovel. It took only a few more carefully placed steps to finally lay eyes on the Prince of Darkness Himself.

Mercy shivered at the feeling of fingers scuttling up her body at the sight of him. Well, not quite the sight of him.

From what her eyes saw, he was just an average man. Fairly well built and suspiciously digging a hole, but on the whole looking like another human.

Her instincts on the other hand, her hunter instincts that had been honed and grown over her lifetime, could see oh so much more. There was something inherently wrong with him, different to demons. He had a sicklier feel. As though he wasn’t supposed to be on this earth.

He made her feel sick and scared and frustrated and stressed and just **_Wrong._**

A signal from Sam snapped her out of the sudden daze. The two older Winchesters nodded and separated from Sam. Letting him take the lead and be the distraction, with Dean in charge of the Colt, and Mercy as the backup. Not that she really could do anything if it all went to shit.

“You wanted to see me?!” Sam shouted, raising his shotgun to the calm back of the Devil.

“Now Sam.” The fallen angel turned to face his vessel. “There’s no need for guns. You know you could never really hurt me.”

Mercy only just suppressed another shiver at the sound of his voice. And not a pleasant shiver either. Rather than smooth, or erotic, it was just plain slimy and sinister. Though whether that was because she knew his true nature or just how he generally sounded, she wasn’t sure.

She held her breath as Dean appeared behind the blond, obviously making use of his blind spot as he inched closer and closer.

“Yeah, well I’d hurt you.” Dean declared. “So suck it!” He wasted no time in shooting the Colt into Satan’s forehead just as he turned to face the middle Winchester.

It was rather anticlimactic how quickly the body fell, slumping to the ground, and how little of a fight Satan put up. The mirrored look of confusion on Sam and Dean’s face let her know that they felt the same.

Mercy swiftly made her way to the boys, ready to drag them out of the town and put all the crap behind them, only to freeze barely a few feet away from the whining Devil. Three identical looks of mortification appeared on the siblings faces.

Ice dripped through her veins as Satan pulled himself to a stand. A look of mocking confusion plastered on the stiff face as he stared at the Colt in Dean’s hand.

No. Don’t.

“Where did you get that?” He asked.

Without giving Dean a chance to speak, the Devil lunged at him, smacking him across the field and into a tree. Mercy followed his flying body with her eyes, a scream of terror choked back as he rag-dolled to the ground.

“Oh, don’t feel too bad Sam. It just so happens, that out of all the beings the Colt can kill, I happen to be one of the five.”

Oh, okay. Mercy took a few shaky breaths, subconsciously noting that she was doing that too often that day, and let herself think.

He was ignoring her, either thinking she was too scared to move or thought she wasn’t a threat in the slightest.

Okay.

We can use this.

Mercy set her mind free. Skating through idea after idea, searching, scrabbling for some clue to create a plan. She silently thanked and cursed her youngest brother for running to check on Dean, leaving her closest to their enemy.

She near sighed in relief when he simply went back to digging, though the tension in her body seemed to have no intention of leaving at all. She subtly rolled her joints, trying in vain to loosen her body ready for combat, and testing to see if the archangel before her had any caution towards her.

Apparently not.

Mercy wasn’t sure whether to be thankful or insulted by the lack of response to her presence.


	30. Satan's Intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Look at that. I'm on a roll tonight. I hope you enjoy! though it's near 1 in the morning so if there are any mistakes dont be afraid to point them out.  
> Any comments or kudos are always welcome.

Once again a statue, Mercy watched warily as the Devil nonchalantly lent on his shovel and started talking to her youngest brother.

“Is it too crazy to hope you would just say yes now?” He mused, a look far too innocent for the Devil directed at Sam.

An instantaneous, “That’ll never happen!” blasted from Sam’s mouth. His body taught with tension.

The sharp determined look on his face sent an arrow of dread through her body. Don’t piss off the Devil, don’t you fucking dare piss of the very essence of evil, Samuel Winchester. Mercy continued to stay on guard, mind going back and forth searching for a way out of there.

It didn’t matter that they had to run. At least they’d be alive and able to try again in the future. Or at least she hoped.

Mercy barely heard any of what the vessel and angel were discussing, too confused, too worried, too fucking messed in the head looking for answers.

“You know Sam, I was a son. A brother, like you, a younger brother, and I had an older brother who I loved. Idolized, in fact. And one day I went to him and I begged him to stand with me, and Michael... Michael turned on me. Called me a freak. A monster. And then he beat me down. All because I was different. Because I had a mind of my own. Tell me something, Sam. Any of this sound familiar?”

Mercy locked gazes with Sam, eyes wide but filled with the conviction that, no, her brother wasn’t anything like the asshole. Sam wasn’t a freak, he most definitely not a monster, and no matter how much they attacked each other, it was never out of spite or hatred. They loved the giant so so much, don’t you dare believe a word of what comes out of that shit, don’t you dare doubt the love they held, _she_ held for her baby brother.

She was, for once, not shocked at the slow fall of a tear down her cheek. Honestly, she was getting sick of everyone, everything, making her and her brothers question their worth to one another. Question their worth as a whole. She was _so fucking **sick**_ of these doubts that plagued their everyday life, just because they were descendants of some crap vessels and were apparently “destined for great things”.

“Of course it does.” Sam called out. Breaking Mercy’s heart that little bit more.

“Oh? You admit it then?” Satan asked, voice coloured with obvious surprise with a hint of glee. Oh how she wished she could slap that thought out of his head.

Though the sudden calm conviction Sam’s posture held made her pause for a moment.

“Yes. Do you know why?” She felt so proud of her brother, staring right back into the eyes of the greatest evil ever recorded. “It’s called having a family!”

Mercy and Dean very nearly burst out laughing at the pure shock splattered on Satan’s face. And Mercy knew, by the look on her amazing little brother’s face, that he had only just begun.

“A family is never perfect, in fact, it can be pretty crap. They beat you down, they make you feel like you don’t belong, they call you a freak. But you know what? My family did that for a damn good reason! They beat me to teach me how to use that difference, how it’s amazing but also how it can cause me pain! They did it because I had a mind of my own! They did it to teach me how to use it, and when to use it properly!”

Sam took deep breaths. The shouting obviously had been to release all the stress and confusion that had built up over the years. And he wasn’t even done with that. Though this time with less shouting, but voice still as firm as ever.

“And you know what? I’m glad they called me a freak. Because they’re freaks too. We’re a family of freaks. They know that, and call me a freak because it’s the same as saying ‘you’re different from us, but we love you, because we’re different from you too.’ So despite what you think. You and I? We’re in no way the same.”

Oh that gorgeous giant fucker. Oh that big beautiful brilliant brother of hers!

“Some fancy words there. Very moving, Sam.” The words of the Devil sliced through the warming atmosphere with a cold satisfaction, and wiped away any belief in actually beating the Devil. “But this isn’t a TV show. This isn’t going to be solved with love and friendship. Think about it! No matter what you say, what you try to believe, it won’t change. So think about it and try again, how are you and your brother any different from Michael and I?”

“Hah, you moron.” Dean called with confidence as he moved to stand with Sam. “It’s obvious. We.” Cue the cheeky grin. “Had a big sister.”

The look of pure, unaltered rage on the Devil’s vessel barely registered in Mercy’s mind before she began moving. Shocking herself, and Lucifer, as she came face to face with the Prince of Darkness, before he could take so much as another step towards the beaten Dean and the exhausted Sam.

“Don’t you fucking dare try to even touch my brothers.” She growled lowly, the vibrations spreading through her chest as she held up her knife and gun. She sneered at the blond, not letting his oppressive aura overtake her desire, her determination.

Because no matter what. She was not going to let this daddy issued, fucker of a brother complex touch even a hair on the heads of her boys.

“Do you really think a human such as yourself could even hope to stand even the slightest of chances against me?” The slimy smile was again present on the vessel. But Mercy could see the underlying rage, ready to erase her from existence at any moment.

“Of course not. Do I look like an idiot?” She snarked, letting the adrenaline take over for once and not giving a damn about her own safety. “I’m only human, and a short one at that! I have no fucking hope of ever taking you down.”

“Then what are you doing?” He deadpanned. Mercy wondered what was so different between angels and humans that they couldn’t even understand something as simple as this.

“I’m protecting my brothers. That’s because that’s what older siblings are supposed to do. We’re supposed to protect and teach the little shits that are born after us, no matter how much of a fucking pain they are. It’s what you were supposed to do when the humans were created. You were supposed to protect and teach them instead of get jealous and angry like Dean did when Sam was born. And all this!” Mercy gestured to the rows of demons seemingly in a trance. “Is just because you want the attention of your father, like when Dean followed me everywhere, even to the bathroom. Don’t deny it Dean, Dad had to give you a talk about ‘following ladies in the bathrooms’.”

Okay. Maybe she shouldn’t have let her adrenaline speak for her. Especially judging by the increasing level of anger the Devil was displaying.

Shit.

“I think it’s finally enough, don’t you brother?” A familiar voice called from the other side of the small clearing.

No.

No fucking way.

There went another little piece of her heart.

“Gabe!” Mercy shouted angrily. “What the hell do you think you’re doing here?!”

No seriously.

What. The. Hell.

He wasn’t supposed to have any part in this. Mercy couldn’t… wouldn’t let him. She would ever allow him to go through the pain of battling his beloved brother to the death. She even made him promise on both their lives! How could he go back on her like that?

“Sorry Tiger.” The deeply remorseful look he gave her did nothing to soften the pain. “You and I both know I need to do this.”

“Gabriel, brother. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Lucifer spoke, strangely sincere his pleasant surprise.

“Wait, wait. Hold up.” Dean vocalised from behind her. “Brother?”

Without even looking, Mercy could see the suspicious and disbelieving glare Dean was giving to the two archangels.

Gabe sighed deeply, “Y’know boys, despite being considered the best hunters in the business, you’re really slow on the uptake.” Gabe swiftly pulled out his angel blade. “I am the archangel Gabriel, messenger of the lord and one of the most powerful creations of God. I became Loki after the arguing upstairs got too much to handle. Figured being a pagan was a much better gig.”

“Holy shit. Dude, our sister was banging an angel.” Dean whispered loudly.

Mercy could barely hold in the groan. She couldn’t, however, stop her hand from making contact with her face.

“Like your one to talk, Dean.” Sam replied.

“Tell me brother.” Lucifer started, ignoring the humans chatter. “Why must you fight me? Why will you not join me in ridding the world of humanity? Look what they have done to Father’s great creation!”

“Ridding the world of humans? I’m gonna have to pass on that brother. I happen to like the humans, warts and all. Especially seeing as I am married to one.” He raised his hand to show the small band of metal with pride.

“Over a girl. Gabriel. Really. I mean, I knew you were slumming, but, I hope you didn’t catch anything.”

Of all the… Mercy really wanted get pissed at that. But in that situation, she just wanted them all out of there. She didn’t want to have to watch Gabe kill his own brother.

“Lucifer, you’re my brother and I love you. But you’re a great big bag of dicks.” Though, it seemed Gabe was pissed at the insinuation too.

“What did you just say to me?”

“Mercy was right. Look at you. Boo hoo. Daddy was mean to me so I’m gonna smash up all his toys.”

Mercy was on sudden alert as the air rapidly cooled. The atmosphere suddenly serious and tense as the two Archangels faced each other seriously. She suddenly realised that that was probably not the best place to be.

“Watch your tone.” Lucifer warned.

“You can play the victim all you want, but you and me? And apparently Mercy. Know the truth. Dad loved you best. More than Michael, more than me. Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn’t handle it. So all this, is just a great big temper tantrum. It’s time to grow up.”

“Gabriel, if you’re doing this for Michael-” Satan tried.

“Screw him. If he were standing here, I’d shiv his ass too.”

Oh Gabe no. Oh baby no. She wanted, oh dear god did she want to stop all this. But she didn’t know how. How could she when she couldn’t even get her mouth open.

“You disloyal-”

No.

“Oh I’m loyal. To them.”

Stop.

“Who? To your so called fellow gods?”

“To people. Lucifer.”

The moment of silence, as Satan pondered on the response, was suffocating. Mercy felt like she was seconds away from being crushed from the tension alone.

“So you’re willing to die for a pile of cockroaches. Why?”

“Because Dad was right. They are better than us.”

No. I’m not.

“They are broken. Flawed. Abortions.”

“Damn right they’re flawed. But a lot of them try. To do better. To forgive.” His eyes caught her own terror filled ones. In return she was given a tearful, apologetic smile. “And you should see the spearmint rhino.” He tried to joke.

Stop it. You fucking idiot.

“I’ve been riding the pine a long time. But I’m in the game now. But I’m not on your side, or Michael’s. I’m theirs.”

“Brother, don’t make me do this.”

Please.

“No one makes us do anything.”

Then please stop.

“I know you think you’re doing the right thing Gabriel. But I know where you’re heart truly lies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you all recognised the dialogue, so we all know where this is going......  
> Next chapter should be up soon.


	31. The Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy.....
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ......Please don't kill me.

The seconds that passed trickled down her skin like thick tar; time had become slow, sticky and too dark to understand as it stretched immeasurably, threating to snap into two. She couldn’t breathe, the air… the air had become solid in her lungs, sitting heavy and stubborn to never leave.

Silver vanished as it moved forward, parting all that stood before it, showing no mercy as it ploughed onward.

“Amateur hocus pocus. Don’t forget, you learned all your tricks from me. Little brother.”

Her mind had come to a stand-still, seeing… but not quite comprehending. Not quite grasping the tears in his eyes or the pain on his face. Not quite understanding the shaking hand stretched out to her, futilely reaching for the last thing he will ever love, ever see, ever know. Not quite hearing the gasped “I Love You” and “I’m Sorry”.

Not quite comprehending that something very small and frail, that had survived after so many years of pain and abuse… finally snapped.

Mercy stared wide eyed as his legs could no longer bear his weight; tracked his descent as the angel blade slid from the sheath of his body, glinting a mocking red as it greeted the light. She watched as the spark of mischief disappeared in a great flash of holy light, and continued to watch as every trace of Gabe, Gabriel and Loki slipped to somewhere she knew she would never reach.

She paid no attention to the Devil as he moved closer to Sam and Dean, as the conversation continued as though Gabe had never even been there, as though he had just ceased to exist.

One foot moved itself in front, then the other, then the first again. Uncontrolled, wobbling as they floated Mercy towards a nightmare. The rest of her body seemingly being dragged along unknowingly.

Step…

Step…

Step…

Step…

The three men engaged in a verbal battle took no notice of the apparition gliding across the field. Far too involved to spare it even a slight glance.

Step…

Step…

Step…

Step…

Flop.

Mercy was vaguely surprised to find herself kneeling loosely on the ground.

With vacant eyes she looked upon the man barely a foot away from her knees. Confusion was all that could be seen in the deep depths of nothing that passed as eyes. A hand shakily picked itself up from the ground and hesitantly inched forward, ghosting through the soft hair only to pause barely a hair’s breadth from the skin.

“Gabe?” an airy whisper called out. “Gabe, baby?”

No reply.

“Hun, it’s time to wake up now. Come back to me like last time, yeah? Laugh at the boys for falling for your trick again?” A shaky laugh forced its way through her, before it disappeared with a gulp.

“…Gabe… Please?”

The hand found cooling skin.

And the world came cascading back to reality.

No.

NO.

NO!

What left her lips could not have come from the earth. Could not have come from anywhere but the deepest darkest pits of Hell that not even the eldest of demons would approach. It tore through her body, shredding everything it could as it made for freedom, and shattered the very air.

All creatures, Demons, humans, angels and anything else spun to stare in shock and horror at the sound of pure agony as it strangled them. The source crouched over the fallen body in a mockery of a twisted wraith.

The demons and reapers took a hesitant step back, their instincts howling at what they perceived as a weak human. Though as a fallen archangel, or perhaps just as a narcissist, Lucifer had no such warning system. He sighed in feign annoyance, though his expression said much more about the anger he felt.

Mercy watched as her tears fell to the face of the love of her life. A deep hollow ache gouged into her very being as she fruitlessly grasped for any sign that this wasn’t reality, that it was simply her mind creating horrors once again.

She so desperately wanted to believe that any second her Gabe would grab her from behind in a sleepy gesture to reassure her he was THERE that he WASN’T LEAVING, NO MATTER WHAT.

That’s what Gabe had promised her when he placed the silver band on her finger. When they sent off the adoption application, when her brothers were swallowed by hell, whenever she so much as hinted slipping back into depression.

HE PROMISED!

“You have no such right to mourn MY brother. To whom do you think the blame falls upon? If it weren’t for you parasites he would be safe and alive by MY side!” Satan called to the weeping woman.

“Blame?” Mercy sobbed out, “You’re saying this is my fault?” Mercy gasped as she gently stroked Gabe’s cheek.

“Isn’t that obvious?” Lucifer spoke emotionlessly. Not a shred of empathy for the eldest Winchester.

Her face cracked into a self-depreciating smile, “Yeah, I guess it is obvious.”

Lucifer just barely dodged the gleaming blade as it sailed centimetres from his throat.

Everyone gawked in surprise as they watched a very pissed off woman stagger to her feet with Gabriel’s angel blade that had nearly beheaded the greatest evil humanity had known.

“What-” Lucifer started.

“It’s obvious that it’s all your fault! EVERYTHING!” Mercy screeched at the Devil. All trace of reason had left her, swallowed by the gaping hole in her chest, leaving behind a crazed huntress.

Her clothes bloody and torn, mud and dust coating her skin and a beaming holy blade in her hand as her only weapon. Mercy knew she was acting irrationally; she knew she was breaking every code in the hunters manual by doing this.

But she also knew she had nothing left to lose, and everything to gain.

She attacked.

Blades clashed as the human and fallen angel met. A dangerous battle had begun, and no one was stupid enough to try to stop it.

“It was YOU!” Mercy raged.

Outwardly, the two looked to be dancing as the swords passed by both flesh and blade. Mercy was fast and ferocious with her attacks, her only defence being her speed as she dodged the glowing weapon. Her direction changed suddenly and without warning, the spontaneous movement making her unpredictable and deadly.

Lucifer seemingly flowed as he fought, using his superior strength and height to deal harsh blows whenever Mercy wasn’t fast enough. A deadly calm covered him and spoke greatly of his experience and age, he was no stranger to battles, or even war.

“It was YOU who did all this! Everything that has happened has been YOUR fault!” Mercy continued, not slowing at all in her pursuit. “It was because of YOU that my mom was killed!”

She slashed at the angels chest, drawing blood from where he was unable to dodge quickly enough.

“It was because of YOU that my dad went off the deep end and started hunting!” Her swings were becoming stronger and faster, hatred searing through her, empowering her. “It was because of YOU my brothers and I couldn’t have a decent childhood! Because of YOU I couldn’t be a proper girl!”

She felt the cool sensation of a cut slide across her face, she wasn’t fast enough. Mercy grit her teeth and pushed herself harder.

“It was because of YOU that my dad died! That my brothers are hunted by heaven! That they have to live in fear of becoming nothing but meat-suits!”

She grunted as one if Lucifer’s strikes cut deeply into her side. Her arms weeping from pain and blood as they were slowly turned to ribbons.

“It’s YOUR fault I’m so messed in the head! That I can’t function like a fucking normal human being!”

Gabe’s blade sank deep into the arm of the Devil.

“And!”

Mercy kicked the devil to the ground. She glared down at him in utter contempt. Her shoulders jackhammering up and down as she desperately sucked in air, her body hunched over in a mix of pain, anger and exhaustion.

Fresh tears washed away a stream of blood from her cheeks. The end was so close, the reason for all their hardships was at her mercy. And you know what?

She had finally fucking run out.

“IT’S YOUR FAULT GABE IS DEAD!” She screamed as she raised her husband’s treasured weapon.

Finally,

Finally!

Angel Blade sank into flesh.

Mercy stared down with wide eyes, hands shaking and breath slowing. The grip on Gabe’s blade loosened slightly as she watched the red soak cloth, as the body fruitlessly tried to close off the wound with more and more blood, only succeeding in blood loss.

She heard yells from behind her, but she couldn’t concentrate on that. She was instead oddly transfixed by the quickly forming pool beneath her.

Mercy choked in open mouthed horror at the Angel-Blade embedded in her gut.

And then at the angel smirking beneath her as blood from her mouth dotted his face. That motherfucker, Mercy just about thought before the pain finally hit. She heaved in complete agony as ice shot through her, splitting off and skewering every individual nerve in her body.

“No.” She whispered.

Lucifer’s smirk turned to confusion at the word. Mercy didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything anymore. Except that she was going to make damn sure that her final act was saving her brothers.

Mercy gripped Gabe’s angel blade once again, and with one last Herculean effort, Mercy dragged any strength she had left, and simply brought it down into Satan’s skull with a satisfying crunch and shock of light.

She smiled victoriously as her body just stopped. It was time for lights off for one Mercy Winchester.

“MERCY!”

“NO!”

* * *

 

“Mercy.” someone called softly. “Mercy, it’s time to wake up.”

“Dad?” Mercy whispered, half asleep.

Everything felt so warm. So perfect and comforting. Like a soothing blanket had covered her, wrapped her up tight. Like one of those perfect mornings she had with Gabe every so often.

Wait, Gabe?

Mercy shot up, no longer dragged down by sleep she fully took in her white surroundings. There was honestly nothing else, just blank white as far as she could see in any direction. It was now more suffocating than soothing, but Mercy could ignore it, she’d had worse.

“I’m afraid not Mercy.” The same voice continued, almost… regretfully?

She slowly turned to look at her companion, wide eyed and fearful. There he was smiling so softly and comfortingly.

“Chuck? What?”

“Ah. That’s not my only name you know.” Chuck spoke. Though not that Mercy was paying complete attention to what he was saying, she was too occupied with the man’s sudden tidy appearance. Last she had seen him, he was nothing more than a hermit, inside and out. Now though, now he looked like a successful, well-adjusted man.

“God.” She breathed. Earning a soft smile from the man-deity?

“I have to thank you for stopping one of my sons, and showing another how precious love is. Though I doubt you’d want to know that only one actually died. Lucifer was able to escape at the last second, heavily injured though. Enough so that I could put him back in the cage.”

“So what?” Mercy spoke up harshly, “Is this the part where you bring everything to a close like some shit story? ‘Well done Mercy, you have achieved all this and now have earned a place in heaven or hell or wherever’? Your story is now over?”

Chuck/God turned to look out at the white nothingness, obviously seeing much more than she could. This, for some reason, pissed her off even more.

“To be honest Mercy. You were never supposed to be part of the story to begin with. Just one day, something, I don’t know what, came to the earth and placed your soul here before vanishing. It was only because of that being’s plea that I let you live. I still have no clue who or what it was.”

Mercy looked on in disbelief. Yes, she had known she wasn’t part of the plan to begin with, but to hear it from God himself? It sort of horrifically solidified it in her mind.

“And? I don't care. I've done my part. So what happens to me now? Can I go see Gabe in heaven now?” Mercy demanded. She needed to see him, like a fish needed water. See that her husband was going to be with her forever from now on, and there was no way they were getting separated again.

Chuck/God sighed and gave the woman a pitying look, “I’m sorry Mercy. Angels- even archangels- don’t have heavens. When they die, they cease to exist.”

* * *

 

Mercy felt herself wake up again, a cry of protest on her lips, to see a familiar room, and a very familiar face.

“Hey tiger.”

Mercy froze. Honest to goodness froze, and looked at Gabe in hope. Looked deep, searching for something to tell her that what Chuck had said was a lie.

...It wasn’t there. That gorgeous twinkle of mischief.

Mercy collapsed and curled up into a ball. Sobbing loudly as she buried herself into the darkness of her mind. This time, she didn’t want to come out.

That was not her Gabe. A cheap imitation wasn’t going to do anything but torment her further. This wasn’t heaven.

This was her own personal hell, she thought as she cried out, trying to block out the fake voice calling her name. Mocking her for the rest of eternity. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides under table* 
> 
> Please don't kill me or beat me up through the internet (You know who you are). This has been my plan from the get go and was never going to change.
> 
> So yeah. Sorry about that. 
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> Anyway, I do have an epilogue planned. So please don't kill me if you want that! See you soon!


	32. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. The end of the road.
> 
> ...
> 
> Be a peach and read the Notes at the end?

A Few Years Later

Sam and Dean relaxed deeply into their chairs, feet on the war table and arms cradling a bottle of beer, as they tried to rid themselves of the aches and pains that come with the job. This latest witch had been a bitch to deal with, and they were in dire need of some R&R after the whole “cat” fiasco.

Dean was fast asleep and Sam was just about nodding off, when the bunker door opened with a slam, accompanied with a call from the red headed menace herself;

“Bitches! Guess who’s back?!”

Dean groaned from his place on the floor, after being shocked literally out of his seat, “Dammit Charlie, can’t a guy get some sleep?”

“Um… Nope!” She replied cheerily as she skipped to join the boys at the table. “Especially not when I’ve brought gifts!”

The two brothers eyed her empty hands sceptically and raised an expectant eyebrow each. The mischievous smirk they got in reply didn’t make them feel any safer. You could never underestimate Charlie’s ability to get them into some kind of mischief.

The sound of many more feet echoing through the halls brought the looks of realisation on the men’s faces.

“I brought the gang!” Charlie cried as the group of five came into the line of sight.

Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Kevin and Castiel all made their way to greet the two Winchesters (with an extra peck between Cas and Dean) and all made themselves comfortable at the war table with the alcohol the group brought separated between them all.

“Boys, I got you summin’.” Bobby announced as he rooted through the large paper bag, garnering the inquisitive looks of all present. “Oh, keep yer skirts on ya idgits.” Bobby grumbled when he caught sight of them.

With a victorious huff, Bobby pulled out a wooden framed photo and placed it on the table, sliding it towards the two remaining Winchesters.

“Thought it was high time it was hung up in ‘ere. She’d be so proud of you two getting a home of yer own.”

The Winchesters and Harvells looked down at the photo with near awe. Even Castiel’s face had taken on a slight smile in response to the picture.

“It’s the photo from before the Battle of Carthage.” Jo whispered as she placed a hand on the frame. “I didn’t know you still had this Bobby.”

“You mean when you guys sent the Devil back into his box?” Kevin exclaimed.

The youngsters stared at the photo in a new light. They had heard of the Battle in passing, and of the outcome, but they had never been told the whole story. They didn’t want to push the older hunters, as the look of pain and grief that flashed each time it was mentioned warned them away from the subject.

But as they say: “Curiosity killed the cat.”

“But who are they?” Charlie asked as she pointed to the two strangers stood next to each other.

The guy looked like the run of the mill hunter, dressed in plaid and denim and a roughish look about him that screamed ‘ready for killing monsters’. Though that may have just been because of the imminent battle at the time. Charlie could see the thin laugh lines around his eyes, giving her the impression that she would get along great with the fellow prankster.

The strange woman on the other hand… Charlie couldn’t help but feel respect for her, even just from looking at her photo. She held herself with the kind of strength and self-respect not many women could pull off. She may have been short, but her muscles, short cut hair and extensive tattoos portrayed a woman who had fought a lot of battles, and come out on top. She may not have been Charlie’s type, but even the red head could feel the magnetic attractiveness of this killer of a woman.

“That’s Mercy and Gabriel.” Jo spoke, “Mercy Winchester and her husband the Archangel Gabriel.”

“Our older sister.” Sam cleared, as the prophet and hacker tried to process. “She pretty much raised us and taught us almost all we know.”

“Best hunter in the business. You two would have loved her. She’d probably love you two too.” Dean added.

“She was the only person alive who could get these two knuckle heads to shut up and actually think for once.” Bobby voiced as he pointed a thumb at the Winchester brothers. Who in turn gave an insulted look.

“Saved my life.” Jo quickly interjected, lifting her shirt to show the start of a deep scar in her side that had Kevin and Charlie wincing. “Stitched me up after I was hit by a hellhound.”

“Best Winchester there ever was.” Ellen simply said. Blatantly ignoring the conflicted glares of the brothers.

“She consoled me when I was forced to kill a brother.” They all turned to stare at Castiel as he gently touched the frame. A proud expression settling on his face. “Invited me into her own family, and then singlehandedly fought and defeated Lucifer, sacrificing her own life for the safety of mankind.”

Dean placed a comforting hand around his partner’s shoulders. Showing an intimacy reserved only for those closest to the now oldest Winchester.

“She was the best. You should have seen it.” Dean started. “She managed to stand toe to toe with the Devil and still managed to come out on top.”

Bobby snorted and crossed his arms, “There was nothing that could stand between her and you boys. That girl scared the crap out of anyone how tried to mess with her or hers. And then beat the shit out of them.”

“Hey Cas,” Sam called with a thoughtful look, gaining the attention of the population of the bunker. “Didn’t you visit her in heaven recently? How is she doing?”

“Yes. I did.” The angel seemed to consider the question for a moment before answering.

“Mercy Winchester was reliving her childhood with the utmost enjoyment. The last I visited she was having a picnic with Mary Winchester, John Winchester and the younger versions of you, Sam and Dean. It seemed as though, as you humans say, she had a weight lifted from her back.”

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh geez. I wasn't expecting posting this chapter would be this hard. Writing it was fine, but posting? It feels so final. It literally just hit me that it's all over, that Mercy no longer needs me to write her story.
> 
> Fuck this is hard. First Fanfics are so hard to finish. I just sort of fell for Mercy, which is stupid as she's my own character... but i'm gonna miss writing her.
> 
> And to think, I'm now gonna have to say goodbye to all of you who stayed with me throughout the writing of Carry On My Wayward Sons and Daughter.
> 
> Just thank you all so, so much for reading this and enjoying Mercy's journey with me.
> 
> Any chance of getting a goodbye comment? For the good old times?

**Author's Note:**

> If you could leave any comments about this chapter, it would be appreciated. Thank You from the bottom of my heart that you deemed this to be worthy to be read till the end. Hopefully I will become much more confident in my writing skills as time goes on. So lets hope for the best!


End file.
